a quick succession of busy nothings

2002-08-24T00:07:00.000-07:00

Goodbye, but NOT farewell. Yes, i'm sorry to say, I'm leaving you blogger. I'm starting to fill up this journal to the brim, so I've started another: DISAGREEABLE TO THE AESTHETIC WORLD

I've also made another layout...enter WARHOL BARBIE 3.0 So long ..farwell Blogger.

No worries, i'll return to this server when i fill up livejournal.com. [ if you know me by now, that will be sooner than you think ! ]

2002-08-23T15:34:00.000-07:00

Oh we're signed up for volunteering Pffft, i'm SO done with charity work. My brother came home from band camps and said "Oh Roni signed us up for the trolley driving on Sunday" I was like, HELL no. Dude...the whole principle of "signing up" for something is that you do it on your own free will. Pfft yeah right, i'm not fucking going. I have a life you know. Ok, well maybe not...but i don't wanna go. I really don't find pleasure in hanging out with my brother and his friends...sorry but..they're my brother's friends. Then again, my friend left for college. I'm a huge mess. Meh. Being lonely sucks. I woke up at noon again. watched some tv...went on the internet. I changed my rateapix.com picture...i'm giving that site a run for their money ! Hahahaha. Anyway. Mark came home from band camp, he showed me the t-shirt for this year...it looks like they're a geriatric group from Florida. Coincidentally, the band trip is set in Florida. Well my brother left to go volunteer at the fair...so..er i'm by myself again. I need money...I need to get outta here...I need my friends...I need a smoke...hahaha.

2002-08-22T23:49:00.000-07:00

it'll all be alright, tell him well this seemingly uneventful day has progressed into somewhat entertaining. i woke up early cuz i slept early..[2AM ! ] freaking A. so i went on the internet..got depressed cuz it sank in that chandi and rachl left me. i couldn't even watch tv. i started downloading music on my computer...and left it..i made some noodles and got sick of them...i sat there under the ceiling fan..then iwent to play with fire again. Then mark came home...brought drifters with him..hahahah. Then dad came home with pictures they were of our disneyland trip...they're great pix. If they're not showing up, i'm not done yet ! Anyway...Diana called to get leesa's number. But i didn't have it...so she came to pick me up, i was bored. We dropped shannon at home and we went to charisa's . She's so cute and she showed me her hip surgery scars. Arthur made us chicken dinner and stuff, it was yum. Then me and diana met chrissy at the movies to see signs. That was scary, i like dove into chris' lap. freaking A. We put gas into diana's car and drove to In n Out. We talked about shit and ate fries. Then chris drove me home. Anyway...i'm scanning pics now.

YeLLoDuCKiE1: Dude ! Signs was scary !
sm00thC2iminal: haha yeah
sm00thC2iminal: did you like it
YeLLoDuCKiE1: yeah it was kool
sm00thC2iminal: the ending was cool
YeLLoDuCKiE1: like prolly an hour into the movie, Chris was like "Whoa, i didn't know this was an alien movie.."
YeLLoDuCKiE1: he thought it was a horror flick.
sm00thC2iminal: what and idiot
sm00thC2iminal: an*
YeLLoDuCKiE1: lol
sm00thC2iminal: haha
sm00thC2iminal: do crop circles give any damn hint
YeLLoDuCKiE1: he didn't know what they were
sm00thC2iminal: lol haha
sm00thC2iminal: poor chris

2002-08-21T21:48:00.000-07:00

Even my brother won't hang out with me My mom got called into work ridiculously early this morning... 7 ! I had to go because she didn't wanna drive home to pick me up for my Orthodontist appt. So...err i drag myself outta bed, take a shower and shove my contacts and stuff into my zebra bag...along with scholarship stuff and my book, Mansfield park. I'm finally on the last episode...10 more chapters ...75 pages ~! i can do it ! I went to the cafeteria already feeling sick from waking up so freakin early. So i order a ton of food, that always helps. I got bacon, eggs and hash browns and iced tea...yum...well until half way through my meal..ew i felt my stomach gurgle in a bad way. So i read my book to get my mind off of it. I then ran to the bathroom to throw up. Yeah. That was yummy. I walked around 2tower saying hi to people. Then i took my scholarship papers...and claimed my 500 dolla scholarship from the volunteer office. I hung out there for a bit...got sick of Mrs. Sullivan and went back to the cafeteria to read..i read like 2 chapters and went back to the office to write notes on the wall for the volunteers. Mark got mad cuz i didn't say goodbye to him...freaking A, i live with him..he's my brother.

11 rolled around and my mom came by to pick me up. We walked to the ortho office. Dr. Stoll. He's really nice and his secretary needs ritalin. I start my treatment next week. I have a cross bite in the back of my mouth, but in the front i have a massive overbite. So...er don't laugh too hard when you see me next week. We walked back to the car and my mom drove me to rachel's...we waited for chandi...and we all went to sharky's. Me and rach shared nachos while chandi woofed down the large quesadilla. My mom gave me money and the two guys showed up...chrissy and what's his face. We chilled for a bit then drove to the mall. We split up...looking for stiped shirts...pretzels...and such. Rachel had to return some shoes in mervyns..so she told us to find her some striped shirts...she wanted to take pics with me and chandi..but us two brown people were wearing striped shirts..so she felt left out. Me and chris gathered striped shirts and sat on a display case waiting for her...it had been 10 minutes and chand i and amit found us..we all chilled for another 10 minutes...we thought rachel was kidnapped ~! AMBER ALERT ! freaking A..we split up and looked all around the store...and well finally she walked INTO the store...she had gone out. ARGGG. Dude..scared us. She said she went by the clothes but didn't see us. Dude..we were so loud, how could you not notice us there?

We went to the picture place ...rachel bought a shirt..left the tag on...took pictures in it and returned it. We have 4 poses...on the first one, i was supposed to face rachel...and like my boob tapped her humungous one..and like i had to distance myself in the picture..click here to see what i mean., you'll see what i mean. two were boring poses..but they turned out cute..the last pose was on a set of stairs..we were told to lay across them..i was like..DUDE chandi's at my BUTT. lol...we thought it was the worst pose...but it turned out the best and we ended up picking it. We had to wait an hour before we could pick the pose..so we went with rach to return her shirt..i went to the eye place to pick up my contacts. Then amit left...and they..[sniff sniff...yeah.] anyway...chandi caught up with us at the T-mobile store..she was frowning. We then drove to vons..chandi had to do bank stuff. The rest of us went to visit kelso at her ice cream shop. I had a sundae and chris bought ice cream. We talked and realized we had to meet my mom at target. So we went, i met her..she got a cute haircut...we went to the bank while chris said goodbye to my sisters. He made rachel cry ! [sshhhh !!!] haha i got my own bank account now...and an atm card. So they picked me up and we ventured back to the mall, picked our poses..waited for them to print..we walked around various stores..i looked at "lighters" again while rachel tried to buy a phone...we picked up our pictures and drove to my house.

My mom took pix of us on the bench and on the couch..they said bye to my brother, my dad and mom...and we got outside...i hugged rachel in a funny way, i didn't want her boobs to touch me. I didn't make her cry. I hugged chandi and she kissed my head...[one time she said.."Hey stop eating my head !" and " i like that one comedian...carrot head ! "]...more like my hair, kinda freaked me out..and well they drove off. I was sad for a complete five minutes and left again with my brother to Jimmy's eatery to eat myself out of my misery....we went to ralphs and bought water balloons for the band camp thing tomorrow...and well i'm home now...gonna play with fire....i'm all lonely.

record time In my vapid lonliness and boredom..i decided to celebrate and embrace the horrible existance i now know as my life...i made a spin-off layout of my first site. I crown thee Bitterness Barbie 1.5: Celebrating the lonliness What makes this even better is that i spit out the site in record time. I found a new midi...made new intros and imagemaps..uploaded and coded in 20 minutes. FREAKING 20 minutes. It's getting really easy now and i think i might pursue this as a serious hobby in the future.

2002-08-20T21:17:00.000-07:00

not toothless anymore Yes folks, i have a full set of teeth now. Hahah i no longer look like a pirate ! Yes ! I woke up at 9 to the phone ringing...i thought someone was home to answer it..but nahhhh..so i got up and answered. I had a dentist appt. at 2pm...an emergency. I showered and waited for my dad to come home at noon. He came..we got to the office at 1...he left me, he had a meeting to go to. Since i was an "emergency" case, i was given a room, but they only serviced my tooth in 5 minute increments every hour i think...it seemed like that. Before i started to doze off, Dr. Bamshad came in...look at my mouth..looked at the tooth i had put in the ziplock...looked at papers and handed the case file to Dr. Hernandez. I like her..she's my favorite doctor out of the others.

There's Dr. Nguyen, she's really sweet..she's done some of my fillings, she doesn't speak english that well. Dr. Bamshad kinda hurt my mouth when he did my fillings all fast...he's kinda weird. Dr. Saidara is really nice, he's sweet and kinda talks like Jason Alexander mixed with Kramer. Some weird Arabian accent also mixed in..haha. The nurses are hilarious...they're all happy all the time ..Only two really have worked on me...Dee dee and Lola. Dee dee is a big afro woman..she's the most experienced nurse out of all of them. She probably knows my case file the best too, I've had her almost each time except for the last few. Lola is a thin mexican girl...she's NOT the most experienced one out of all of them, i guess they make her work on me to gain experience. So today Lola and Dr. Hernandez worked on me today. At first 4 years ago...Dr. Hernandez would lecture me about my teeth all the freakin time..but nowadays..she just tells me filipino jokes and sings while she drills. Lola has this annoying voice..kinda nasily and high pitched at the same time, if possible.

So the procedure went as follows: Dr. H shot me 4 times...from the top over the gap in my mouth and under. Lola stuck the sucker in my mouth while Dr. drilled behind my stub. It was no problem because i had gotten a root canal in that tooth about 5 years ago..they fitted me with a metal post, cast it twice [ because Lola messed the first one up] , and capped the stub with a temporary cap. I got out..stretching, i had been in that damn chair for 4 hours ! Freaking A. So i waited for my mom to pick me up...she paid..and we went outside. I waited because she forogt her keys on the counter...and as i waited...this woman and three children were walkin by me. She was yelling and hooting cuss words and stuff..and when she passed me she said " And kids, that's what its like to not match"...OMg she was referring to me ! i wanted to stab her in the eye with a pen ~! Anyway..my mom had to go back to work..so she dropped of at Rachel's house..at least i get to see her before she leaves. She was packing... we chilled, ate bread, chicken, cookies and watched the simpsons...talked about Kevin and Chris..hahahahahaha. Anyway, my mom picked me up and well now she's yelling at me to do the dishes....haha.. toodles.

2002-08-19T00:32:00.000-07:00

drive you to die.. yeah today was a waste of my life. I mean i'm on the internet all night usually...but i can't do that in the daytime. Its just a waste, cuz no one's there to talk to. Like...FUCK..what am i supposed to do if i can't get outta here dude? I was lectured into the grim realization that I'm gonna be dependent on my damn parents for the next 5 years....oh yeah, i forgot..i'm a spoiled, rich, asian kid. hopefully, i find someone to take me away from alla this shit. I loved the feeling of being so free on that boat on Saturday..like i was flying. Little things can piss me off yanno and when people IM me and say "HI !!!!" and say they have to go, BEFORE i can even respond. DUDE you're killin me. That kinda thing can drive a person to suicide. Really..it CAN. God..i feel so..unwanted, yanno that feeling? its like i'm gagged and wanna scream. The worst thing to do to a person in this vulnerable and delicate state...is build that person up and break them down two seconds later.

anyway i talked to chandi last night...seems that her "buddy" err..made the moves on her on her birthday. COUGHfor5minutesCOUGH...that made my night.i was half excited, half grossed out for her. Just kidding, i'm kool with that farkin character. Ken and Lee cheered me up a lot. Yanno, simple chit chat that makes me smile saves me from myself. Thank you. [high five]

I was bored and took the "Date-able test" on thespark.com Ken took it too..we got different percentages..he gotta 75% and i got a 68%, but we got the same result thing. Now i'm starting to doubt the credibility of these online tests ! haha..

Damn, J-Lo! You are...
68%
dateable! Attractive and confident, witty and charming, a healthy ambrosia-based diet... you're wanted in the 48 contiguous states, you slayer. Call me. Seduce me. Make me a man (or woman.) Not only do you know how to turn a guy's (or girl's) engines on, but you also know how to oil, lube and rotate it. You put the "elation" back into "relationship," and the "night" back into "one-night stand."

manic depressive day i swear, my outlook on today was pretty good. I cleaned my room, talked to chris, downloaded a bunch of Lauryn Hill. Chandi called and said she was meeting whats his face over here so they can go to dinner in Valencia. She came over, watched some tv, had some chips and pepsi...she changed..picked up her party pics from wal mart, came back...and she sat there talkin to my parents..they were having a good time. Then...her "buddy" arrived. I answered the door..it was great. He was mega-slouched kinda lowering his head saying very timidly and and rehearsed "Is Chandana home?" I just started cracking up dude. I like fell on the ground. He came in..and they left saying things like "Thanks mom, bye mom !" haha i was like.."Ok you kids be careful now !" Yeah..then i started watching this Michael Jackson 30th anniversary thing on VH1. And i was biting into a soft, dried papaya...and my tooth fell out ~!

OMG, my right crown fell out...its like a front tooth..i started freaking out and my mom didn't pay ANY attention to me, she was on the phone. She put her finger up in my face giving me the "wait a minute" look. I started to cry and she didn't even look at me. I was freaking wiggin out dude. I went to the bathroom to look at it and the decapitated tooth. It was kinda bleeding..and it actually hurt. When they put the crown on...they gave me a root canal...shaped the dead tooth into a stub so that they could put a whte gold cap on it...Well the stub broke off with the cap..so i'm fucking screwed...denture time for me. So after assessing my situation, i walked out of the bathroom to my mother who had finished talking on the phone. I showed her and her reaction was..laughter. She was fucking laughing at me. I wanted to stab her in the face. She called the dentist's office almost crying with laughter. Yeah..fucking pound down my self esteem. I sat there hugging my pillow trying to get my mind off of it. I looked in the mirror and ...it looks horrible. So horrible..that i forgot to cry. Now i probably won't be able to see chandi or rachel this week cuz i'll be busy fixing my teeth. God damn..why am i so cursed? And when bad things happen to me...they come in groups!! Why the fuck does this happen to me? WHY? It fucking tears me apart...it does..it does....

2002-08-18T17:17:00.000-07:00

watching tv for once. Yeah , i actually plunked my mini-ass on the ground in front of the tv and watched Road Rules. I actually like this season. I just refuse to watch Real World. So yeah, i was watching upstairs because my mom came home with food and my father came downstairs and changed the fucking channel. My brother just left for Chandi's party, with my camera. WHOA..WAIT A TICK. HOLD THE PHONE..Jenn doesn't watch TV ! Whoa !! why isn't she going to Chandi's party? Jenn's been grounded for the first time in her fucking insignificant life. Yeah it started kinda yesterday...i went waterskiing and was dead tired, so i slept the entire way home. I missed my mother's phonecalls and voicemails. So i just went home and fell asleep. At like 3..she wakes me up and yells at me, saying i'm grounded. Meh i didn't pay attention..i was fucking tired. so after i watched real world..my mom was yelling for me to come downstairs to eat lunch with them..Meh i wasn't hungry. She started yelling at me..both her and my dad were lecturing me about my responsibilities and having a phone has gone to shit becauuse i dont answer it when they call. Well if they would fucking lighten up and not yell at me everytime they talk to me..maybe i'd fucking lighten up too. My mom then tried the motherly approach by crying and holding my arm. Meh, and i kinda pulled my arm back..i don't like it when people touch me, especially ones i don't like. And as usual, i sat there and gave her my "look of disdain". Then she tried the silent approach. she's such a fucking child. The phone rang and she didn't get up. I did and talked to my grandmother..my mom didn't move. I passed the phone along and went upstairs and here i am. I could be saying goodbye to one of my best friends...But no i'm downloading and listening to Eminem and diggin "Hailey's song".

Hekate84: hey jenn, what's your e-mail?
YeLLoDuCKiE1: yelloduckie1@aol.com
Hekate84: well, that's simple enough
Hekate84: thanks
YeLLoDuCKiE1: haha..yeah.
YeLLoDuCKiE1: am i to expect something entertaining in the e-mail box?
Hekate84: nope
YeLLoDuCKiE1: bah hum-bug.
Hekate84: inquiring minds wanted to know
YeLLoDuCKiE1: wow, plural. I feel special for some reason.
Hekate84: i have multiple personalities
YeLLoDuCKiE1: Even better.
Hekate84: right; i still want to know if, when a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide if it's a hostage situation
YeLLoDuCKiE1: depends if the others agree or not.
Hekate84: ah, that's true
YeLLoDuCKiE1: hey, ya never know..that one that pretends to be happy might wanna go too.
YeLLoDuCKiE1: What a mood i'm in.
Hekate84: odd mood?
YeLLoDuCKiE1: well, i've been grounded for the first time in my life.

time to get my mind offa illegal drugs and depression

My Romance Meter

Optimist 35%

65% Cynic

Close 5%

95% Distant

Long Term 4%

96% Brief

What does my romance meter read?

Ok, now that's just rude Yeah now both my fucking parents are acting like children. They opened all the windows in the house..and we live in the AV, so...things get blown around here...curtains..doors..drawers. So...the door to my bathroom keeps slamming open and shut...and the drawer opened too. So...the door was then prevented from opening because of the open drawer and it just kept making noise. So my dad got up and tried to close the drawer with a hanger so that the door would open. But he was using his foot to keep the door open a crack...but thatwas preventing the drawer from closing..i tried telling him..in a nice manner..and he burst yelling at me saying "YOU GOTTA BETTER IDEA? THEN YOU FUCKING DO IT" and he threw the hanger on the ground. Oh my geez, what a freak i swear. So took a yardstick and pushed it through the crack and tapped the back of the drawer so that it would go in..it worked and i told my father [ who then sat at the computer] that the door was now open. And he was like.. "GOOD..IT WAS YOUR FAULT IT GOT LIKE THAT ANYWAY..." well fuck you asshole. fuck you.

2002-08-18T16:40:00.000-07:00

if Road rules can, I can ! Oh dude, i woke up so early...unnecessarily EARLY. FARKIN chris. Ok i woke up at 6:30 and got ready to go, Kenn came and picked me up at 7:30 in the AM. At that moment when i ran to get the door, my nose started bleeding. Yeah that's a great start to the day ! hahaha. Ok, i laid there in the back of the camry..we changed cars and drove to AMPM to buy some breakfast and some ice for the cooler. As we were getting ready to leave AMPM, freakin chris calls and tells us that we don't have to be at the house until 9:30...GAHHHHHHHH. We sat there in the car flabberghasted and eating our breakfast. Eh just drove over to Chris'...and yeah...we didn't end up leaving until like 11. dude..we watched Kung pow, what a HORRIBLE movie. We piled into Chris' truck and drove two freaking hours to Riverside..Lake Perris. IT was so freaking tiring....all of us were sleeping. Chris didn't even sleep that night, i'm surprised he was so...hyper. Yeah we unloaded the cars and i watched the boys struggle with the koolers. One had wheels and the other didn't. Guess which one the really weak boys had to carry? Ohh man...Ken, Chris, Angelo and brand took turns carrying the freaking green kooler. We had to walk SO FAR. HAHAHAHAHA. Oh well. We got there and no one really spoke much; if they did..it was in tagalog. We all changed and waded in the lake for a bit. Then Uncle Richard took us in the boat. We were gonna try water skiing !

Chris went first and didn't really accomplish anything, he didn't even get pulled out of the water...kinda dragged for a second and he fell over about 3 times. His brother Herbert tried it about twice and go seasick, so we had to take him back. I felt so free just sitting in the front of the boat and feeling the air rush past me. It was a small boat that lifted its nose when you went fast enough. Brandon decided to go first..Ken was really skeptical and scared for his brother. But it was all good. Brand kept saying.."AGAIN !!!" The problem that they all had was that the skis were way too big and kept falling off their feet. Uncle richard let chris drive while he waterskiied. He showed us what it was all about. Ok, it was my turn. And haha we had found the small skis. They fit perfectly ! I laughed as i put them on...I jumped into the water and floated there remember what to do..1. Keep the tips of the skis out of the water . 2. bend your knees to your chest 3. hold the harness close to your body at first, then slowly release once you get going. 4.Keep the skis together. Gosh, it was so tiring..that's why i stretched before i went out. Chris got a cramp or two.....So..i was floating there with the harness and i yelled "OK !! GO" And dude i felt the power of the boat engine tug the rope ..increasing the tautness. Dude it was so exhilerating ! I got up a litte and fell forward, getting some water into my nose..My second try was the same..But the thrid and fourth times were kick ass, i got above the water and skied for a few seconds. Yeah i felt good. Cuz if those weaking Road Rules people could do it..I COULD DAMMIT !

Ken went after me after some convincing...he was so kool about it. He wasn't scared anymore and finally realized that he can always say " Hey i waterskiied." We headed back to shore and thanks uncle richard. Then we jumped onto the Sea doo. OMG that was fucking crazy. Usually Sea Doos are two seaters..this one was a 13 thou tircked out..FOUR SEATER ! The speed limit on the lake was 35 mph...but hahah..we were prolly goin like...60mph. We all took turns to drive...YES even me. When chris drove...he went so FAST...he hit 60 mph and we were all holding onto each other for dear life. Kenn was in the back and was freaking out about falling off and hitting the cement hard water. When Brand drove, we rode the waves pretty good..that was kool. When Ken drove, we hit the waves head on and got tons of water in the face. When i drove, we would go like 50-60..then stop hahaha..forcing the boys to hump each other..hahaha. We were like holding each other so hard, our arms hurt afterward. itried sitting in the back while chris drove..Dude i almost fell off, my legs flew up in the air..it was like riding a run away horse. We drove back to shore..oh gosh...my adrenaline was pumping. I changed and ate a little lunch...We packed up and dropped dead in the car. We drove back and chilled at chris' house..had some dinner and drove home. Dude. What a freaking kool day.

2002-08-17T10:07:00.000-07:00

soccer is meant for soccer balls I got home pretty late last night and couldn't come online to reiterate my long day to you all. it started at the usual noonish, i woke up and took a shower...watched some tv and waited for chris to pick me up. Well it turns out Ken never woke up..so we were sitting there waiting till 3:30. A couple a band moochers came over and chilled for a little. 3:30 came and we drove to Ken's house. He was cleaning his bathroom. When the hell is he NOT cleaning?? We got into the car and drove to sports chalet to buy lifejackets. They were 13 bucks, and we thought we could get cheaper ones at Walmart, so we went. There were two for eleven dollars...Ken got them... we drove back to sports chalet and bought another one for chris....me and Ken stayed in the car [ freaking chris' computer has nsync on it and erased my two page entry..so i'm all pissed..grrar] ok to continue, we went to the 99 cent store..[ haha yeah we did Shannon, sorry !] And chris bought channon and kelso decapitated britney dolls. Err yeah i decided to be a little more tasteful and buy them fake flowers, they last forever !

Then we drove to albertsons to buy an obscene amount of soda. I went and bought thai tea. Yummerific. So we drove Ken home, talked to his mom, chilled for a little bit..chris and Ken watched this funny replay from their previous game of Starcraft. Ayzza called and informed me of her debut plans...turns out i'm on the cotillion court, funny. haha. So I called Gene to get directions to Shannon's house, and i dragged chris from the starcraft and we drove to Shannon's...fake flowers and britney dolls in tow.

I was let in by shannon's brither, sean. I entered with christ, who was carrying red roses for kelso. we ventured to the bakeyard and saw the most violent game of water b-ball. All the boys were scathed with scratch marks and bruises. They looked like they were raped by horny mountain lions. I chatted with tony and misty before deciding to jump in...Chris left to make an appearance at Linz's party. I changed and dove in...being a mere spectator to the b-ball game. Oh to no avail...i still got bruised. Despite my pushing and screaming , i still got pushed against the wall a bit, nothing to cry over. Anyhoo...the game was finished and everyone was just chillin..Adam had gotten out of the pool and changed. Sosko told him to not kick the basketball, its not a soccer ball. We should have taken heed to Sosko's foresight. Well i was just sitting on a side step in the pool with Kelsey. All of a sudden, the b-ball comes in close contact to the backside of my cranium. Ouch. Yeah it kinda stung at first. But I didn't hurt...i watched kelsey float by me..and i realized it was me who was floating by. I had apparently fallen into the pool after the impact. My arms and head were weak, like i had no control over them. I don't remember being dragged out of the pool by Fish and Adam. But i was laid out on the wet cement. I came to when mr. Degroff and chandi were trying to keep my awake. some eyes tests were done and i was assisted into the guest room, still wet. Shannon and tony kept me company for a little bit and i got up...yeah i took it a little easy after that...

The pizza arrived and Adam paid for my pizza as compensation, so that i wouldn't sue him. hehehe. I should get hit more often. Actually, i would prefer to be "hit on". hahah. Anyway, the boys left to make an appearance at Linz's party. chandi left to go pick up my brother. Chris came back, so did gene. aww his hair ! gahh. We watched a little bit of "How high"...the boys came back, and fixed charisa arrived too. The party wasn't wild or anything, but it was so great ! Everyone was outside, while i stayed safe inside with sosko and christ. We talked about "bipolar-ness" and being accident prone. Well lemme think, i just talked to myself..kinda. They started another water b-ball game and i stayed inside for a good 5 minutes. Then i got all lonely and stuck my feet in the spa. I walked in on some ridiculous version of Truth or dare well, it was just DARE. And Anna kissed Jehu...diana kissed chris and well the game was over when they told me to kiss diana. Erf..yeah we made room for everyone to fit into the spa. I was between sosko and diana....yeah i decided it was kinda time to go home, since i had to wake up ridiculously early the next day to go water skiing. Mark and i got home and i just took a shower and fell asleep.

2002-08-16T11:03:00.000-07:00

not the usual nightmare I woke up 4 hours ago with tears streaming down my face and i was sweaty...but it was cold in my room. I had my first nightterror. Everytime i sleep i have a nightmare..i thought nothing of it..because i don't usually sleep long enough to have REM cycles. Ok, well i remember the whole fucking thing. That scares me the most...it was so realistic..i laughed..and i felt REAL pain. I was prolly talking in my sleep last night. Ok well...

To clear it up, there was two of me. One performing in Lip sync and the other was watching. it was the day after the car accident and it was 5:30 pm. I had a ticket and was strolling into the gym with danny, kelsey, sosko and jehu. We sat atop the bleachers talking shit about people in the lip sync groups. we talked throughout the first performance...and waited for the second one. We pointed and laughed at the 2nd group [ my group] at their ridiculous props because they still didn't win. [omg that was horrible..i was acting like sosko.] Anyway, as i was pointing and laughing...the other me saw and held her head up high anyway...despite the pain. The pain was so REAL. It was basically the exact same events that happened at lip sync, but the pain was magnified. Every kind of physical pain that i've ever had appeared during the performance. My knees gave out ..but i kept going. My left arm hung loose..but i jerked it around so that it looked normal. My bruises started to appear and burned to the touch. The bruise on my head hurt especially bad. And for some reason, the lights in the gym were on, so everyone could see my horrible maladies forming while i performed. The performance seemed longer than 5 minutes. It felt like an hour long dance marathon to me. I walked off the stage looking absolutely fine, but when i sat down, i collapsed and no one cared. The "watching" Jenn didn't sympathize...she was cracking up.

I was so scared outta my mind..i've been up since 8. that god damn car accident just won't fucking go away. ok anyway... i don't need this shit.

My College Is:

	Davis Trade School
	Students at Davis Trade School goof off a lot.
	Students at Davis Trade School masturbate a lot.
	There are lots of frats and sororities.
	Booze is the drug of choice.
	The average GPA is 2.75

Enroll

2002-08-15T13:12:00.000-07:00

Mark in the middle my poor brother. dude much shit has hit his fan, i'm so surprised that he still cooly stands there. First..he ran for presidency of his 7th grade class. He lost. Second, ran for president of his 8th grade class. He lost. Third, he worked his ass off to get perfect grades and was not, for some reason, the valedictorian of his junior high. He tried out two years in a row to be drum major, i have never seen such a great try -out...He didn't get drum major. He doesn't ask for much, just the occassional video game and new book from my parents. He's a good kid. Bah, my mother just called him a pushover, because of the recent developments. At this moment, my fucking parents are fucking chewing him out downstairs. I mean, aren't we supposed to be on the same side here? They're yelling at him for not standing up to certain people. The situation: my brother went in for an interview to be the Pit Captain. At the end of last year, he was named the pit captain.This morning, some authority figures..who will remain nameless...took him into a room and told him "You're not the Pit Captian, its a mistake." My brother was complaining to me..and my parents heard. Mark was upset...and got over it pretty quickly. Then my parents had to butt in and start yelling at him. Now his anger over the situation has raged into an out of control wildfire. I really hate people who make my brother feel bad...those fucking "band" people..and my fucking parents. They're yelling at him and using the worst analogies " What if I said you would NEVER be drum major....and you wouldn't ask WHY??" They're also saying that he might not be drum major. Skepticism is something mark doesn't need. GOD, he really doesn't need this shit. Tomorrow's the first big band meeting, everyone will be there. And tomorrow, the shit is gonna fly. The fact that I can't do anything to protect my little brother, tears my heart out.

What kind of ANGEL are you?

Quiz made by Angela

NeoSpiderGold: LOL...oh man..
NeoSpiderGold: ChildMariko: u wanna join an orgy with me, Diana, and Adam?
yeLLoduckie1: huh?
NeoSpiderGold: hahahaha
NeoSpiderGold: i'm there!
yeLLoduckie1: zellmer and orgy in the same sentence?
NeoSpiderGold: i dunno.
yeLLoduckie1: [dies] i'm melting !

2002-08-14T17:52:00.000-07:00

wow, that fish has vertigo. well that was a super freaking, mega awesome weekend. to continue...we drove to orange county, where Reah's apartment was located. We stayed in her room like hermits cuz people were sleeping in the living room..meh reah was tired too, so we didn't really do shit.. just went on the internet and listened to Marc Anthony. i set my phone to wake me up the next morning, cuz Bry was gonna pick me up. Errr i woke up at 10:30 and went back to sleep. Woke back up at 11 and woke up irma...we dragged ourselves to the car, [which was a freakin block away] and drove back to the house, i got ready, packed some clothes and waited for Bry.

He totally drove past me while i was waiting outside..hahah. We drove south on the 5 and stopped in Irvine to get boba. OMG. i ordered this apple tea drink and it was mega sour. and so i kept drinking it...it got half way and noticed one of the mixer people staring at me..i got my phone out to detract the staring...but he kept staring and was like "Hey, do you want another drink?" Dude i was totally wiggin...he was HOT. I was like.. "oh..no, its ok, it tastes fine" and i smile righhht. Then Bry was like "Oh..she thinks its SOUR" i like glared at him. And he gave the drink back to the guy and he made me another one. AWWAMAHGAWD. I was all bashful and...er. i hate that. So a hot guy at Tapioca Express gave me a free drink. Bry got a good laugh at it while i let my cheeks flush back to their original color. We drove to Bry's house...packed the car and picked up Christina. We drove across the way to Brandon's house...there was Brandon...Ryan...Brittany..and GASP...Lily? oooh a GIRL....lol. While brand and lily watched Lord o the rings...me, Britt, Ry and Bry played Super Smash brothers...I got my ass kicked, so i snooped around the large house. Looks like my old house...Auntie Joyces' room is all kool, its lime green ! Me and Bry stole Brand's keys and sat in his new silver Eclipse...leather seats [drool] Britt gave me ice cream and we loaded up the barbeque and headed to the store.

At Ralphs, we bought buns.. [hamburger.] ice and charcoal...Brand bought the freakin cheapest kind..not the automatic light..we drove only like 5 minutes down the street to Dana point, passed the Ritz Carlton and down to Silver Creek Beach. We freaking carried so much stuff down...it was a LONG freakin walk to the beach..and we decided to walk farther down to the right because there were so many freakin people. We set up in a secluded place, past the 2nd lifeguard tower. Put up the umbrella, set up chairs and the mini grill. We couldn't get the grill to work, cuz someone forgot the propane spigot and that same someone bought cheap ass charcoal that needed lighter fluid. Did we bring lighter fluid..? HELL NO. So we played in the sand and water till people came with lighter fluid. I waded a bit and got used to the cold water. I watched Bry body and boogie board. It was funny, there were huge waves and he didn't catch ANY of them. He just kinda rode up and down on the board. He decided to dig a 6 foot hole in the sand. Him and Brand were in there digging and i decided to make something with the sand they were digging out. I started to make a castle..and that didn't work. So christina started putting it all on me and she made me into a mermaid..it was kool..i drew scales on my fins. Tee hee. She took pictures.We buried christina in the 5 foot hole, it was kinda funny until she couldn't breathe. So i dug her out. Brand and bry's friend Melinda came and didn't talk much, she just stared at the waves. After we dug christina out...i stuck my feet in the sand. So did bry and we had a fight. I tried burying his feet and vice versa..we ended up burying each other and Brandon stomped by and we both couldn't move. OMG "Was that your toe???" hahaha. That was hilarious. then my mom called on my cell, i told her what was up, then bry kept throwing wet sand globs at me. Mehhhh that was so annoying while i was on the phone. He wanted war, so i gave it to him. Then we both went to the water to wash off. He started coming towards me and Unexpectedly pushed me into the oncoming wave ..so i was on my ass under the water...i was coughing up salt water pretty bad..he pulled me out and was like "OMG are you ok?" And i just put him in a head lock and pulled him under. Take that, loser boy ! After we were both pretty soaked ..we walked calmly out of the water and shook hands..that was enough. We looked like two soaked house cats that hate water. At least i had sexy beach hair afterward. Lisa came with the lighter fluid..then our lighter thing went out..luckily she had a lighter too. We barbequed burgers over a lighterfluid soaked grill. It was crazy..my hands were getting numb and stuff,,so i sat by the grill...after we were all done, watching the sunset and such...we packed up and walked all the way back up to the car.

I said bye to Brand and we drove off to Bry's house. I took a long warm shower..good god..sand is a diffcult bugger. Anyhoo, i came outta the bathroom and there was monica..she's kool and we watched Lord of the Rings. That was kool beans. Bry then told his mom i was sleepin over....cuz he didn't wanna drive me home so late. [can you feel my mom glaring at you?] hahaha...well we talked and watched Caroline in the city..went to bed...then woke up really early..so he could take me back..Auntie Maria made eggs and bagels..Yumm..and we drove to Irma's. Immediately after i arrived, Irma and reah and me drove to the airport to pick up Rowena. We held up a sign "HEY YOU ! HOW MUCH?? 50 cents ?!" Hahaha rowena's a riot. we picked up her bags..dropped them off at the house and went to Burbank to meet my mom. We sat in Ikea for a while..had ice cream while reah shopped. Then we went to barnes and noble...then met my mom at Chevy's. Had lunch...said goodbye. Drove to Van nuys...99 ranch...humm i stared at the fish tanks fora long time while my mom ordered seafood. i looked at some tilapia and some were swimming on their backs..alive, mind you..and some were upside down, facing the bottom the of the tank..i thought they had vertigo..had boba and bought a whole buncha shit..now i'm home and ready to party.

yeah i have a boyfriend too omg, poor freaking chris...worst thing for such a homophobe. i laughed so hard my throat is raw
NeoSpiderGold: that was so dirty earlier..
NeoSpiderGold: i took a shower cuz of it.
NeoSpiderGold: eew.
YeLLoDuCKiE1: what?
NeoSpiderGold: A word of advice...from chris =)
YeLLoDuCKiE1: LOL
YeLLoDuCKiE1: ROTFLMAO
NeoSpiderGold: that was gross!!
YeLLoDuCKiE1: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHa
YeLLoDuCKiE1: hahahahahahahaha
YeLLoDuCKiE1: hah
YeLLoDuCKiE1: ahahah
YeLLoDuCKiE1: ahahah
YeLLoDuCKiE1: omg omg HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
NeoSpiderGold: that was the worse feeling ever.
NeoSpiderGold: i was like..."ehhh..it's a guy!!"
NeoSpiderGold: i had to take a shower cuz of that.
YeLLoDuCKiE1: LOL
NeoSpiderGold: i felt so dirty.
NeoSpiderGold: :-\

Anyhoo i checked my lottery tic and i didn't win shit, i didn't even get ONE number ! i started talking to Kenn and Chrispy, they're off playing starcraft again for the millionth time. Well earlier...Chris had to clean his room and Ken wanted to play Starcraft with SOMEONE. So i suggested mark, cuz i suck ;) ok well after number registrations and re-installments, he got b-net working and played as "Lordothestep313" while Kenn played as "freakinwinston" . [chris is "freakinevan"...i said mark could be "freakin andrew"] anyhoo...after mark and ken kicked ass, i talked to chris...
YeLLoDuCKiE1: lol mark and ken totally kicked this one guy's ass.
NeoSpiderGold: lol.
NeoSpiderGold: ken did that?
YeLLoDuCKiE1: you gotta play with them
NeoSpiderGold: no way.
YeLLoDuCKiE1: i watched the whole thing
NeoSpiderGold: sure.
YeLLoDuCKiE1: it was mark mostly.
YeLLoDuCKiE1: lol
NeoSpiderGold: haha
YeLLoDuCKiE1: he was telling ken what to do and stuff
NeoSpiderGold: lol..freakin' ken.
YeLLoDuCKiE1: one guy on the other team got mad at mark for doing things too fast
YeLLoDuCKiE1: so that guy left !
NeoSpiderGold: do you know how to play?
YeLLoDuCKiE1: minimally..i can't keep up like yall
YeLLoDuCKiE1: omg the room was named "Faggeh"
YeLLoDuCKiE1: i was like.. omg no...my brother is getting sucked into their world !
NeoSpiderGold: we're always in there.
NeoSpiderGold: LOL
YeLLoDuCKiE1: all cuzza chris ...who HAD to clean his room instead of play with Ken
YeLLoDuCKiE1: i was kicked off the internet and had to look for tv shows to watch
NeoSpiderGold: well you love playing tv.
YeLLoDuCKiE1: Undressed was on...that's a horrible show.
NeoSpiderGold: mark is turning!
NeoSpiderGold: lol
NeoSpiderGold: wanna play with us?
YeLLoDuCKiE1: that's ok, i'll stick to my non-game internet experience
NeoSpiderGold: aww man.
YeLLoDuCKiE1: lol..mark can be "freakinandrew"
YeLLoDuCKiE1: yeah so if you catch him online, ask him to play or somethin
NeoSpiderGold: lol..sounds good to me. why talk to me though?
YeLLoDuCKiE1: cuz i know he's in good hands...well...sorta.
YeLLoDuCKiE1: yours..not Ken's.
NeoSpiderGold: haha
NeoSpiderGold: thanks.
YeLLoDuCKiE1: i think that's funny how everyone's like "Ok, you watch over chris.."
YeLLoDuCKiE1: and i'm all "Ok chris, watch over mark"
NeoSpiderGold: lol that is funny, never thought about that :-)

2002-08-12T13:38:00.000-07:00

prankamania hahaha... irma is the queen of pranks. oh man, yesterday..she was talking to Ate ming on the internet and ate ming was like "Where's jennifer? how is she?" Irmas was all " oh she broke her arm.." After ate freaked...irmas continued saying " Oh...yeah, its cuz i pushed her..." hahahaha.. Ate was mad freakin out. And Irmas confessed after Ate was about to call my mom. Shoot. that woulda been bad. Hahaha and just now...Rowena's coming from Canada on the 14th...today is the 12th
f L i P C a S a [1:44 PM]: you!!!!!
IceCreamIrms [1:45 PM]: hey we went to the airport this morning, where the hell were you ?
f L i P C a S a [1:48 PM]: liar!!
IceCreamIrms [1:49 PM]: took you long enough...geez

haha today was a funny day....of course, we woke up at the usual noonish. We sat around and watched dvds and dang ABBa kareoke. We decided to bake a pound cake, but we lacked vegetable oil. So we decided to go to the store...we decided to try the stick shift ! My uncle donated his old volkswagon to this family. So i kinda taught irma how to drive stick, it was pretty good ! I was successful ~!!! haha i got her to shift up to 2nd...we went around the block like twice, but not great enough to take to the store..One guy in a truck honked at us and laughed at Irma. So we switched cars...went to albertsons, bought pudding...oil and i got my mascara ! YAY ! hahahaha. We drove home debating about gas. we baked two cakes...they both were VERY chocolately ! sheesh...then we watched bridget jones' diary. Then i had irma dye my hair..we tried to make it blue, but it just turned copper bleached. its kool though. We then booked it to little caesars, 5 dolla pizzas! we browsed the video store while we waited for the pizza. Then..we dropped the pizza at home and drove to target to get pads and other stuff...weh..and now we're here..waiting for reah to get offa work so we can kick it at her apartment...

2002-08-11T19:15:00.000-07:00

YOU get lost... gah me and irma woke up at the usual noonish. argued about what we were going to do today. We decided on walking the block, the Norwalk block. haha, this is the most grounding experience. The ghettos of L.A. I just cahnged my pants, put my hair in a fountain and walked out the door. We walked down a myriad of residential streets, lookin at yards and stray dogs. We walked around the block...seeing old sites and smeeling piss..yeah she used to work at Baskin Robbins. We roamed the 99 cent store grabbing snacks and drinks to eat during the dollar movie we were gonna watch. We spent like 5 dollars...sat by a fountain to stuff the crap into our bags. We walked to the theater and watched Udercover brother. It had its moments, but overall, just sucked. Haha. I drank my soda and prolly ate half of a chocolate bar. We walked to Save on and looked at makeup and magazines. Walked to the LOT and looked at hair dryers. We walked home, found more stray dogs. Irma tried leading me the wrong way..but i knew where to go, luckily. We came home to see Reah's big ass in the bed. She bought A walk to Remember for Irma. Dear god we're watching it now.

ok after two viewings of a walk to remember; one noramlyl and the other with commentary...the special features and about 20 viewings of the freaking Mandy moore music video...reah and i got sick and decided that we were hungry. We drove to Artesia and looked for vietnemese food. after staring at closed restaurants..we found a crack in the wall that seated us. We ordered and ate..talked shit. Then my mom called. She said i'm gonna be so FAT, because everytime she calls, i'm EATING. There's nothing wrong with that. I'm a growing child ! hahaha. Well we finished and drove to south street. me and irma went to cold stones while reah sat in the car holding herself. Hahaha...we blared the music on the way home and watched harry potter and played with the DVD it was fun..

2002-08-11T02:32:00.000-07:00

this looks like a job for me.. Wow..what a good set of two days. It actually all started at two o clock in the morning on Friday...We were all in a chat room [ chris, rachel, scottie, me , sarah] we argued about the plans for Disneyland...erf..didn't matter, plans got changed again anyway the next day. Mom forgot to wake me up...i lounged around for a long time...jason, chris and rach finally picked me up at like 10...we drove around..met scottie at Rachel's. drove two cars to disneyland. Scottie drove chris and I rode with Jason and rachel. bryan kept callin me...i kept callin him. He arrived at the parking lot when we were exiting to visit rachel's friends. ppor bryan waited in the parking lot for us while we waited for rach's friends to arrive...then we all drove to the parking lot, TIMON?? freaking far away man. We freakin took the 10 minute shuttle I called Bry and i was like...yeah "I'm walking with a white thing [rachel] and a tall white guy with a red hat..." And bry was like "OHHH i see y ou.." We got in...me and bry paid for our own tix..everyone else got in free...sheesh....we got fast passes to Space Mountain.. Went on "Honey I shrunk the audience" Bryan freaked out pretty good. I hear all the kids screaming in agony when the snake appeared. We then walked to the Matterhorn...bry ate his sandwich..from subway in the line..mmmm..i rode with chrispy. he wouldn't scoot back...mah...we walked to thunder mountain and i rode with Bry...chris was flailing all over scottie...we walked around fantasy land looked for ACs..lost half of the group...found them again at Space mountain...i rode with Bry..and the sound wasn't working at all..that sucked..but i guess it was ok. we ate expensive lunch, bryan and scott freaked out about the price of chocolate milk. Jason chucked his bread at the wall while we all mingled and got to know each other a little more. We walked...to adventureland...waited in line for indiana Jones..chris drove...i screamed my lungs off for fun. the guy behind me was CRACKIN' up....that was great. that line was long...we walked to splash mountain..saw the line and turned around. We went to the haunted mansion. Oh geez. Chris never been on ANY of these rides. ASTOUNDING. Sheesh..ok, we sat there in the seat, me and bry, and the voice was all talking right..and then suddenly it started reciting the safety speech in spanish! omg, that was hilarious..and it was saying like..keep your kids on the ride, so i was like" Oh so what if someone decides to get off the ride? Are they gonna stop the ride??" Then all of a sudden..the lights shut off and the ride stopped..we were in the dark and the announcer was like.."some spooks have stopped the ride..the ride will start again shortly" OMG i like cling to bry, scared outta my mind ! i screamed pretty damn loud. Then we went to pirates of the carribbean, we lost rach, jason and chris on the way there. So many people came to that ride right when we got there..and dang we had to wait for those three! Gah...its all good though. Me and rachel pimped it. [Jason Rach chris] [bry me scottie] hahaha yeah. Then Bry blinded me with his bright phone..SHEESH. Then we rode splash mountain. Scott was trying to make his boobs grow, the ones between his legs. hahaha. We took a really great picture on the way down. Yes, bry does look constipated. We sat and chilled waiting for scottie and chris to buy the pics. Turns out chris can't scan it, he has no scanner. Good one. Then we rode space mountain again, me and Bry tried making ourr own music, didn't work. Then Matterhorn AGAIN...hahaha, chilled in the ice cream shop where laura worked. Played some of the dime games. Chris is sexless, Jason was Frigid and Scottie was DYNO-MITE ! tahahahaha...walked around downtown disney bry gave me his jacket, it was collld. ...FOUND A DUCK STORE. OMG. [faint]. We saw a club..i decided that i was tired and should go to Irma's ...er plus i didn't wanna pay 5 bucks to check it out.. So i called her up, told her to start driving to Downtown Disney. Me, Bry and Jason walked and shuttled all the way to the Timon freaking parking lot...got my bag...shuttled back..shuttled on another shuttle and met Irma who scared the crap out of us by screaming "JENNIFER JUMP OFF !" hahaha..we were crackin up. drove like..90 down the freeway...unpacked in her room...i got the TOP bunk. hahaha. talked and chilled a little..watching some jay leno. erg. then i fell asleep.

Super awesome one hour party ! we woke up at about noon. We had to drive grandma to the airport. She forgot her passport two exits before the airport. Vegi-wokery. Showered. Dad picked me up..picked up uncle resty...went to Auntie Ija's house..Virgin daquieri's on the rocks? Hip hop and nsync dancing...9 course meal. symmetrical tables...ahhh. we went bowling..Guys VS. GIRLS. hahaha.chilled at Jamelle's. that bed was 15 years OLD. Ew..was someone conceived there? buying time... glow sticks. popsicles. watched shallow hal

2002-08-09T00:49:00.000-07:00

In the words of the great jehuyeah i was talking to Jehu...haha that guy is a character. i did a whole lotta nothing agai ntoday, planned my trip for this week. I'm going to disneyland tomorrow morning and staying at Reah's apartment ..then chillin..then going to Jade's graduation party. Gonna chill for a week, with rowena and irma and reah..and hopefully bryan and brand and jade. Soo.. i packed my hairs all wet. I went on finapix..i'm 13th on the top 50 for females 18-21. that's pretty good...wow.. i didn't know that was possible without showing boobs or g-strings.. i made another quiz Because Zach B. cheated horribly and got a 100% hahaha...sheesh..so i made a harder one. So i'm gonna eat something and sleep a little earlier than usual...1 o clock? hahaha..
littlejuanny: my friends are being mean to me
YeLLoDuCKiE1: which friends?
littlejuanny: steve namely
YeLLoDuCKiE1: pfft he's always been a dick
littlejuanny: yeah he is
YeLLoDuCKiE1: he doesn't care much about other people...i have first hand experience...
littlejuanny: so do i
YeLLoDuCKiE1: yeah i remember hearing about the car antenna..
littlejuanny: that was mean
YeLLoDuCKiE1: yeah it was.
littlejuanny: It left a bruise
YeLLoDuCKiE1: ew !
littlejuanny: he is a bastard
YeLLoDuCKiE1: i kept wondering why you put up with all of that through the year
littlejuanny: eh its funny when its not happening to you

freaking A, Mom!!! ok..first she changes her mind yesterday..then she changes it about something today...i changed my plans twice for her god dammit. She can't keep doing this to me. FUCK. my original plan was to be picked up at 8:30...go to disneyland with jason and rachel, MEET scottie and chris after i meet bryan..meet up with her friends..blah blah have fun right? then go home with bryan, end of story? NOPE. Well...she changed her mind about Bryan's house..so now its Ermas...Rachel failed to inform me that she had no purpose of going early and that she would get in trouble if Jason drove her..and she told me the only reason we were leaving early was so that i could meet up with bryan and walk in the park for a bit with him...ER...WHAT??! dude...she's the reason i'm fucking going in the first place...this whole thing is giving me a headache. And its 7:30 in the morning right now...my mom was complaining yesterday that she had no money...so she was gonna wake me up early so we could go to the bank and then she'd drop me at rachel's...we were gonna have breakfast and stuff...see the thing is..she was gonna take me AT 7 ! freaking A, she left me and went tot he bank very early this morning without me. FUCKING A. So now the plan is MUY jumbled. So much for planning....good god. So far the plan is...wait till someone figures out i'm missing...get picked up ...go to Disneyland a very annoyed lil camper...

OMG ! FINDAPIX TOP 10 ! I'm #10
Check it out !

2002-08-07T18:01:00.000-07:00

NEWsFLASH: womanly wiles. oy, i feel horrible. today and tomorrow are gonna suck big ones. And my family HAD to tempt me with GREAT sugary food today...eh i was about to watch little women when my mom told me to get dressed because we were goin to Sharky's. we get there, i order a quesadilla, loaded with steak and cheese. Well i can't eat a lot of it..and eh..i just drink a lot of lemonade to try and feel better. We get togo boxes and take one car to Valermo St. Andrew's Abbey. After the grandmas finished praying and exporling we drove around..the chrystallaire neighborhood for old white folks...lol...anyhoo..we went to Charlie browns and got dried fruit, honey and shakes.. i got a banana one...strike two for me. So my dad gets gas at Shell and i'm feelin it...I'm totally out..my cramps really got worse. I got home and laid on the bed for a while. Yay my mom bought heat things for my tummy...i'm such a little baby.

Kama su-what? ok, so ..these thermapad things that i've had on my abdomen are helping with taking the pain away from the horrid cramps..but they made my legs all weak. I'm even more fatigued than ever..hopefully it goes away on friday. Sooo..i sat under the ceiling fan in the guest room and watched a LOT of tv. I sat there for 6 hours with the damn heat pad attached to me. I watched the last half of that real world movie...eh i dunno what to think about it. i watched and said all the dialogue to Ace Ventura, Pet Detective..the FIRST ONE...that was great. I watched Evolution with david duchovney and that 7 up guy. Orlando something. anyhoo...that was dumb..but weirdlyy sceintific at the same time. thennn after everyone fell asleep promptly at 11..the Kama Sutra Movie came on the digital cable. It was surprisingly un-pornographic. More like..sensual...and based on a love story..almost made me wanna puke...that's why i didn't watch the rest of it. And the only positions that they demonstrated fully was lotus position...well..it is the most interesting one..sheesh. I mean there was a lady in the movie teaching it to women and courtesans ..they had to practice on EACH OTHER. if i were a guy, i'd be turned on by the upsidedown kissing and standing on the head thing...but i'm not too excited really when it comes to watching two women..in fact i'm pretty much sickened by the image. I think i'm gonna go cry in a corner now.

2002-08-06T00:26:00.000-07:00

Kiss my ass, military !ooh god, last night...my father was telling me about his new boss that's moving here. This "boss" has a child going into high school. So, from the great results that I had, my father decided to e-mail and promote QHHS to his new "boss". Well...good god. MY dad told me that his new "boss" didn't want his kid going to such a liberal school where gays and lesbians roam freely. I was flabberghasted to hear such a response from a supposed "Authority figure". It irritates me beyond belief to hear such things to come from so-called mature adults. How is my father supposed to take this crap from his future boss? So..because i went to a liberal school, does tha mean i'm "GAY"? oh my goodness no. Dude...QHHS was horrible for the homosexuals that i knew. They were made fun of and ridiculed by people of the same mentality as my dad's "boss". I knew some brilliant homosexuals. Very intelligent and talented. Who is this guy trying to kid? I mean, if you shelter your child in a private school environment...they'll be so naive after high school. In public school, you face real issues and social problems. That's the only way to learn. It angers me to know that America's leaders are horrible people. Someone's sexual preference does NOT determine their intelligence, success and/or friendship. We are all people. And people do not treat each other with such harsh biases or prejudices. But hey, then again we need assholes like that. You need people to be wrong before you can set them right.

Are you fucked in the head? Take the test.

one boring eventful day i get a lot of those. Suddenly the time and my energy just passes. i knew that i wouldn't do anything at all today. so i took the initiative to bake some peanut butter snickerdoodles. Just sugar cookies with peanut butter, rolled in sugar and cinnamon. They are probably the best cookies i've ever made. They're so yummy, and of course i hid a stash for myself. I started to Play super mario brothers 2: Yoshi's Island on mark's tv...smells like ...something weird in his room, very familiar to me..er i can't put my finger on it... but anyhoo..i played the first stage OVER AND OVER again..i wanted to get a perfect score...but i kept getting so close. 55, 67, 77, 88, and finally 99..then i gave up..that kinda annoyed me..i prolly reset the stage like 12 times. I'm horrible at video games..and it was an easy one too...gah. Anyway, i don't remember what i watched..but iwent on the internet a lot..i made another site layout. Starstruck Barbie 2.0 And checked out findapix...dude i'm on the top 50 for girls 18-21. Yay last i checked i was 17th..but prolly am at like 50 cuz people are mean on that site. They cheat. There'sa pic of that girl from smallville on there...and i wanna know how many of my votes are sincere. Oh yeah, i remember i watched the majority of Sister Act 2, the one with the choir. hahaha.. i mean the one with Lauryn Hill and Jennifer Love Hewitt. Then i remember watching Shrek with the grandmas. I think i'm going to assimilate Shrek's vocabulary and diction.. "That'll do.." "Oh for the love of Pete " "Hold th' phone..!" "Compensating for something.." "I have to save my ass." "Oh that wasn't very nice, he's just a donkey..." Anyhoo. After that, some people dropped by outta nowhere. I surfed the net a bunch...talked to chris about finapix, it was hilarious. Thennnn...we ate dinner, my dad came home with corn to boil and chicken to BBQ. He also was talking about coloring his hair..he's getting to that "age" now. And since he's getting that ear surgery...he feels REALLY old. Meh..48? Uh-oh i sense mid life crisis approaching. We ate outside in the dusty wind with the grandmas. Mark left abruptly for some band meeting where everyone will complain about the new "prices" to be in band. Haha...too bad for them. Requiring volunteer hours from parents like mine is impossible..my mom works 7 days a week...days and night shifts. My dad's just lazy. Our family has no problem paying the fees. But see the thing is..most familys can't. A family can provide either one or the other ..but not both volunteerism and money. Sheesh, it makes band seem not to important to some people now. Or more...depending on who it is. Moving on ...10 minutes later i hear the door slam shut as if someone had come in from the outside...and i saw no one..and allofasudden...Mark pops from the stairs screaming..and well you guessed it, i screamed too. Meh...later we played som Killer instinct and super mario RPG: Legend of the 7 stars. Mark wouldn't let me play really. and after he farted on me..i ran into his closet to search for his "infamous" money stash. No luck..because he kicked me outta the room, half strangling me on the way out. So..i went to the guest room, stuffed pillows in my shirt..front and back...but my skateboarding helmet on..[the pink one with the metallica stickers.] and i charged into the room looking for the money. No such luck again. Anyhoo my mom came home and i asked her if i could go to Disneyland..turns out..I CAN..YEEHAW. And i stayed downstairs..watched the rat pack. Got bored after the sex was done..so i came up here to relay my boring eventful day to you all.

2002-08-05T19:59:00.000-07:00

2 P's : Pipes and Porn Today is Danny's b-day. Chris and i planned to get him a cake and decorate it. So i woke up early has breakfast, waited till noon, yanno to give chris time to sleep....called him up...he came..we went to Vons. Bought two chocolate cakes , decorations and baby cereal for Rachel. She had her wisdom teeth pulled out. We drove to her house to bring her the baby food...we also decorated the cake there...oh it was such a great cake. it had a story to go with it. We took a duck bill and stuck it out of the top of the cake...drew feathers all over and stuck two grapes as eyes. It was hilarious..."The pet duck that we bought you, saw the boobs on the cake and flew into it, in a horny rage.." hahaha. yeah that's the best cake EVER. Scottie came by and tagged along when we went to drop the cake off at Danny's. Luckily he was home...Christ was there. Megan and sosko showed up too. Yeah he looks like he don't care much about anything really. I gave danny his cake and handcuffs for..later use. hahaha. We chilled playing with the "Gazelle". Finally after bickering a little with Megan we caravan-ed to the mall..i rode with christ. chris followed horribly in the date rape box. We walked about the mall aimlessly...i met Thomas at the cell phone stand thing...he's nice. We shopped for lighters and smokes. No one really bought anything, except sosko who bought more butane for his lighter..which he can't find. I saw a lighter and case set that was periwinkle...i wanna get it. i need $cash$ though. Christ bought a 10 dollar game...er mario 64? i don't remember. We drove to video liquidators and walked behind the red doors. Megan was kinda disgusted that i did.."You're going TOO Jen??" hahah well it wasn't TOO exciting. Geez. The guys were reiterating stories of going past the red doors. Like when they took chrissy....he was standing in the gay porn section and didn't know it. I love how you have to bag your movies once you step out of the red doors. I walked up and down the aisles saying " opp have that one..." Some old men looked at me weird. YES i reached the desired effect. HAHAHA. There were some hilarious titles in there and some just looked ridiculous. Yikes. Danny was worried that his mom would find out about his 30 dollar dvd porn...and christ was like "Well would she rather you start smoking or buying porn?" Lung cancer Vs. blindness...hahaha Anyhoo...we stepped out and found christ and megan oogling a car accident tha happened in the parking lot. Yeah the lady was screaming " ANYONE GOT A CELL PHONE??" Christ has one...and is standing closer to the lady...yet he points to me, who is nearly still in the store...I didn't wanna give her my phone either, she was crazy ! Oh man...then christ drove me home so that he could pick up Kelso later. the others went to another porn store... Meh i just lounged at home eating periodically...meh i can't believe i came home before 6...this is so BORING.

RANDOM RATEAPIX guy...
sirlord 23 ian: hello
DJdizzyDuck: what's shakin'?
sirlord 23 ian: nuttin much
sirlord 23 ian: r u bz?
DJdizzyDuck: er, not that i know of.
sirlord 23 ian: oh ok
sirlord 23 ian: sorry to bother
DJdizzyDuck: what?
sirlord 23 ian: im sorry for bothering u
sirlord 23 ian: i got ur sn from find a pic
DJdizzyDuck: oh..well i never said you were bothering or interuppting..
DJdizzyDuck: where'd you get that idea?
sirlord 23 ian: i dunno
sirlord 23 ian: but im really sorrie ok?
DJdizzyDuck: why are you apologizing?
sirlord 23 ian: coz i bothered u
sirlord 23 ian: anyways
sirlord 23 ian: wats ur name?
DJdizzyDuck: you didn't bother me in the first place...
DJdizzyDuck: i'm Jenn
sirlord 23 ian: nice to meet u jenn
sirlord 23 ian: where in the bay u from?
DJdizzyDuck: was born in Frisco.
sirlord 23 ian: so ur from frisco?
sirlord 23 ian: where in frisco?
sirlord 23 ian: 510 here
DJdizzyDuck: dude..i gotta go..
omg i had to cut off that convo, cuz that guy was annoying me. who identifies themselves with area codes? i mean really. its like for people who live on the outskirts of a specific code..like a person from lancaster saying their from LA, thats so...nerdy ! yo i hate it when people apologize over and over again. its like they're not listening to you ! omg, i hate that ~!! and then when people ask for my name and "fail" to mention their own names...its like they need a name to go with the pic so they can...eh..don't wanna think about it...omg...ew. ok am i wrong or...does "Not that i know of " mean something else than what it is? geez...who doesn't understand that?! obviously, not that guy. And wait i'm guessing that guy's name is Ian. But it would've been nice to say..instead of just implying..yanno...etiquette.

2002-08-04T10:45:00.000-07:00

dance major? MEH, that was a tremendously long day. OY, i woke up at around9, had some bacon, eggs and pancake. just one ~! haha, well rach, chris and hannah showed up first. Rach started crimping her hair, hannah started ironing shirts..chris burned another copy of the cd on my computer. Raci showed up and watched X-men evolution with my brother. Some episode consisting of Spike and Storm having some issues with crazy african tribesmen. Jason showed up at 10:30...we practiced a little. we just waited for the gay-bros © and garett. they finally came, an hour later, we practiced our butts off. We figured out a beginning sequence.. Raci and I were swaying trees in the wind. hahaha, the guys did the matrix. we practiced inside...and outside....in groups...in pairs and someone did it by himself...coughchriscough...We cleaned for about 3 hours, espcially the last half...snacking and drinking water periodically. We had about 3 real run throughs. Everyone jumped in the shower...not at the same time. Changed...got ready, loaded the chairs...blah. Chris just HAD to lock his keys in the car. [slap on the forehead]. we drove to the mall brought the chairs in. practiced in a hall for a bit...went to the backstage..prayed as usual. Got on stage, realized it was longer and not as wide as we thought it would be. It was ok. HAHAHA the beginning was hilarious. Hannah set a weird precedent...we got more "OHH that musta hurt" comments than actual cheers. She play fell and the stage was hollow, so she made a really loud noise. Oh it was great, i kinda almost jumped myself. But we were so ON. It was weird. Then Brand was really cute fanning himself with his hat and throwing it aside. then the screaming part came...i crawled through raci's legs...everyone did acrobatic stuff...toe touches. But Brand...made the crowd cringe in a good way. He did a cartwheel, toetouch combo ending in the splits.. god then the janet part came, i remembered more as we were performing it. But when we did the part on the floor, with the knees...YEOW. I hurt so BAD. But i kept going. didn't wanna look like no fool. I was so happy to be on the floor face down at the end, i was in pain. we gathered everything and got offstage. YIKEs my knee was killing me, pfft the security wanted to get the paramedics. pfft, i didn't need that shit. i saw hip hop. It was cute and very interesting..it was only a minute long though. i also didn't need to lose the rest of the group...made me walk all around by myself. gah. they were having a meeting about the new gigs that sprung up. two television offers, the AV fair and a party, we're gonna get paid...finally. after talking to chester the arresta and poorman, we got some blue pepsi...it makes me gassy ! we took pictures and went to my house. some people changed and we rushed to get presents for Nate, it was his b-day. So we bought donuts~! We went to his house, it was a blast..that kid is gonna go places, i swear. We bailed at like 9:30 and went to Raci's dad's party. That was fun too. dude i got home at like 12:30 and i plopped on my bed and fell asleep.

CaptainVocke: this rabbit wiil keep my occupied for hours
YeLLoDuCKiE1: yeah, sosko sent me that link and long time ago and i've been playing with it since.
CaptainVocke: such a silly thing
YeLLoDuCKiE1: sosko or the rabbit?
CaptainVocke: both
YeLLoDuCKiE1: lol

2002-08-02T01:55:00.000-07:00

a SWEET taste of the future. oh me oh my, my orientation kicked major ass. so much fun that i forgot that the internet existed.

What's excellent about Davis: i met Hemal Panchal.
What's even BETTER: He hung out with me ~!

What's excellent about Davis: Kenny was my Advisor.
What's even BETTER: He thinks i'm hilarious and he drove me downtown when Hemal made us late. And he showed me heaven, i mean borders and Tapioca Express.

What's excellent about Davis: So much stuff to do.
What's even BETTER: Its stuff i LOVE.

What's excellent about Davis: everybody drinks BOBA.
What's even BETTER: there are 3, count 'em, THREE tapioca places.

What's excellent about Davis: i tested into an easy math.
What's even BETTER: i tested into honors everything else.

What's excellent about Davis: its so pretty
What's even BETTER: the weather rocks and i'm not allergic to that place !

What's excellent about Davis: buffets for every meal.
What's even BETTER: 4 different buffets to go to ! FOUR, count 'em..FOUR ~!

What's excellent about Davis: room-mates
What's even BETTER: roomates that live in Hercules ! tee hee !

What's excellent about Davis: You can take WHATEVER class you want.
What's even BETTER: i have two PE classes. lol.

What's excellent about Davis: you're allowed 7 guests to sleep overnight per quarter, for 7 days each.
What's even BETTER: they can be GUYS.

What's excellent about Davis: they have left handed special seats !
What's even BETTER: Hemal's left handed.

What's sucks about Davis: too big to find other people again when school starts.
What's even WORSE: I choked when Hemal was leaving. I got a pat on the shoulder.

oh man, Davis freaking rocks. DAY ONE we arrived freaking early..like at 10:30...when we were scheduled to check in at 1:30. Good job mom and dad. if they had stopped arguing, maybe they woulda paid more attention. anyhoo..the guy told us that we could check in at 12:30..so , er we ate lunch and milled around the Memorial Union [MU]. we were first in the fricking line. [NOTE: fricking and hella are the words of the week and fricking everything has an abbrieviation]. I grab my ID and key. I stayed at Regan Hall's Rienda building, room 310. Its a sign. My last english teacher's room was 310. Anyhoo, i unpacked, MOM frickin made my bed. omg. I left a note for my roomate...telling her what my name was. We went to the Computer Lab [IS] to set up my e-mail and such. Yeah. its jk[mylastname]@ucdavis.edu I ran back to the room to say "Hi" to Rachel...filipino girl from Hercules that knows ALL my old friends. That was tight. Then parents and students were separated, we played "I love my neighbor" and when ya got stuck in the middle, ya had to say your name, hometown and major. Yeah i got stuck once. The girl next to me got stuck FIRST..Her name was Jennifer as well. Turns out, she was from Palm springs. We were puti n a group together for ice breakers...Hemal, Jessica, chris, sofia, van and some other people were there. We played bam the imaginary ball and tried to get to know each other. Our group was the smallest, yet loudest laughing group EVER. We went to the welcome meet and watched tedious skits..some were ok. Kenny was spiderman ! OMG they killed Kenny. Not really..but i dodged projectile tube socks. Can't wait for the flying burritos at the games. I pretty much hung with Jenn the rest of the day. We had dinner, turns out...our parents got along WELL.. it was creepy. Lakers..hospital...they spent the whole week together. We went to the last campus tour with Hemal and Chris. Chrystal was our tour guide. Afterward she told me that my parents were embarassing her by taking photos of her talking on the mic. At 8, we chilled with Kenny out on the grass..he gave up our planners and got to know us pretty well. I hope to god that he's my RA. And at 9 there was Moonlight madness bowling. Since neither, I, Jenn or Jess brought socks..we decided to ditch the activity and walk around town..we walked around sorority rho and the mall..wasn't too exciting..we hadn't seen downtown yet. I introduced Jenn to Boba. it was ok at the Old Tea House. We went back to Jenn's room and waited for her roomie to arrive..they met, almost fell in love. I went to my room and took a shower...read my book...yadda yadda...talked to chris on my phone. Then he fricking texts me in the middle of the night twice..while we're FRICKING sleeping..and we had a calculus test in the morning..FRICKING chris..i texted him back "FUCK. got a calculus test tomorrow, QUIT IT." hah that was mean, but it got the point across. DAY TWO Well i woke up at like 6:30..ate...went with everyone to the hall...They have special left handed seats. it was awesome. Hemal sat behind me. AND erf, i missed two to get into CALCULUS.. Meh its ok. i didn't wanna take it anyway. Eh we had horrible horrible advisor for Grad requirements..Marquel, she talked wayyy too fast...talked only about HER major ECONOMICS??..and wasn't too exciting so i didn't really listen to her. Lunch was kool..took the chem exam, sat behind hemal...i scored a 35 out of 44 when the average was 20. But didn't get into Chem 2A because of my math. They made us sit and listen to dumb people for 3 hours in the SAME HALL. Then..thank god, they moved a group of us to the Life Science Addition [LSA] to listen to Mark Sanders.. he answered all my questions and made everything click in my head. The barbeque was yumm...me and Hemal had chicken and sat in the grass. peeps started playing volley ball, frisbee and football..and er, we're not the sporty type...well not rough sports...track and badminton. hahaha. We got lectured yb Marquel AGAIN...she's so boring. then me and Hermal and his friend tried to figger out schedules in his room. 210 in my building. we were gonna take the same english..but i changed mine and so did he. He's being funny and taking Native American experiences. I was like.."Dude you're not THAT kinda indian.." He's a hot hindu like Amit. Well..better looking..thinner..less hairy...shorter...prolly smarter ;) . Anyhoo...we missed the "Davis Experience" freaking Hemal made us late. I complained to Kenny and he drove us, excitedly downtown in search of the tour group. As we were pulling out of Regan circle he blares the radio telling once of us to turn up the bass in the back..and i was like...FADE it Kenny ! And i said "Oh wait..you can't fade, there are no speakers in the back.." hahaha. we drove around down town picked up some people...he dropped us off at Tapioca express. As he was pointing to a theater, a car almost hit us. Everyone BUT him freaked out. It was funny. I bought Boba and found DDR there..hahaha. it a dollar ?! freaking A. We walked to Borders and Jamba juice. We met with the rest of the group...the guides led us down a dark street and made us sit on the sidewalk while they told ghost stories. Something about Tercero...i drank and walked and talked to Hemal about paranoia and scary things at night. We saw Tercero and it was a little creepy...poor 6th graders sleeping there. Anyhoo, i figgered that something was up..we had arrived at Tercero at exactly 10:30 pm...seemed like they had something planned. a Spook perhaps? Well i called it and yet, i was the only one that freaked out. I dropped everything, my ID, my meal card..keys and drink. I recovered everything but the meal card. it was dark, i didn't find out till the next morning at breakfast. As we were walking back, Hemal was laughing and hugged me ou t of sympathy. MEH. no pity hugs. i went back to my room and figgered out my schdule, took a shower..and chilled with Rachel..we talked about Mandalay, pinole and all my old friends..it was nice to hear about them. DAY THREE i fricking lost my meal card..Hemal offered to pay for it, but i declined..i packed and checked outta my room. i fixed my schdule AGAIN....went to hemal's room and waited for him, helped him pack and stuff. Then more lectures...then one on one advising, didn't do crap cuz all my classes were closed...erf. But anyhoo that's later. We hung out again, i met this pretty girl named Christy Fornier..she was REALLY pretty. She had shorter hair than mine and had a style similar to mine. And i met RAWI ! he's really fun. like a big ol panda that listens to tight music. We went to the closing lecture and well, i got separated from everyone cuz i couldn't go to lunch, MEAL CARD...GAH. so i went downtown with my parents..Noodle house, yum. Then we got boba. Then they dropped me off to go register. i ran into hemal as he was leaving, he got all his classes...obscure ones..but that was kool. It was so hard for me. I got Workload MATH 55, Asian studies, Aerobic Running, Weight Training, and intro to Lit. Eh the rock climbing class was FULL...ERF. So was Contemporary dance...but its kool, i can change them. i walked back...turned in my colorful survey..got a souveneir and left...i said bye to Jenn and we have each other's cell phones...i wonder if i'll EVER see Hemal again...Ok. I'm SPENT.

feeling the same erf i woke up all early this morning, called Ken to make sure he woke up..I called rach...clarified that we were practicing at Garett's. Erf, well we never got there till 2, then rach and them took an hour...so..once we got started, we were yelled at by garett's mom. Yikes. i was pretty scared. She told us to leave. So we got our stuff and got to my house. then garett and his mom called to get directions..she kinda apologized for yelling. He came to practice anyway. We fixed a ton of stuff today. Chris showed up late, we all thought he died, but he went to work..that was weird...but anyway..we got the whole thing down..at least the girls do. People can watch and say "Hey i can do that..." but next time, watch the girls..its a little harder than you think. I was so tired. I was so fucked up around the Janet part..good god i don't remember it at all, at least i'll be lookin like an idiot tomorrow...anyhoo...i promised i'd sleep early because we have practice here tomorrow. my hairs all wet and braided so it can be all dirty looking tomorrow. good deal..yeah beth isn't dancing with us..i'm not too surprised..haven't seen her in forever. Chismosa...nerr anyhoo. ate some peaches and lime yogurt, it was yum. My away message says "Masticating..BBL" . teresina IMed me saying "Stop masticating ! you'll go blind ~!" hahaha.

2002-07-28T12:41:00.000-07:00

sleeping early for once. oh, man..the only time i decide to sleep early..at like 1AM. Ok, it started last night when my mother told me that we were going to church early on Sunday...so I took her cue to sleep early. Oh i should have stayed up. I woke up to my raging father...yeling for me to wake up. He told me to walk outside in my PJs. oop...well. This had never happened before...my house was egged. I mean, TPing is ok, but egging on white stucco is not kosher to my father. I mean i'm ok with it...its just my father took it as a major threat. So while we're all getting ready for CHURCH...my father is yelling at us, saying we're to blame...or we must've done something to someone to make them want to violate our property. Ohhhh man...if my dad finds out who it was, he's gonna press charges on the counts that its vadalism of private property and possible discrimination/hate crime. I think that's a little too far. I mean, if i were my dad, i'd just make the fucker pay for the cleaning bill...we have to call a specific dude to clean the stucco because its all yellowy and nasty looking. My dad was also saying "How about we leave it up there as a reminder to us that not everyone likes us." Well i guess someone doesn't like me or my family. As soon as i was showered, i got on the net and e-mailed a buncha people asking for cooperation. I said that if the perps came forward before 9 pm tonight, no charges would be charged. But i feel sorry for whoever did it...cuz my dad's a madman. He was really pissed driving two miles to church...he was speeding and stuff...

anyhoo, we got to church and Paterick was there...he sat behind us. We went to vons to shop for food. We came home, made pizzas and sandwiches...Everywhere we went it smelled like or we saw a picture of eggs. it was some horrible pun that the public was playing on us or something. Eh well i really wanna get this over with cuz my dad is making my life hell. He blames me. He says i'm a disagreeable person...maybe that's why someone egged our house. BAH. Please, if anyone has a problem with me, don't EVER involve my dad, that's just asking for an unnecessary headache. I can settle things peacefully. Ok...i guess imma freeze some water, going rock climbing again.

You are a muse.

What legend are you?. Take the Legendary Being Quiz by Paradox

There's a rock in my hole ! hahah dude, anna and shannon picked me up while i was watching the Virgin suicides again. We drove to shannons and waited for the rest of the climbing posse.we finally got into shannon's extremely large van again...drove past little rock and into the Devil's Punchbowl. We packed our frozen waters...and headed onto the trail. We went up and over this mediocre rock and chris T. was all freaked out, telling us that he was afraid of heights; oh that was great. So he took the car keys and headed back by himself, while us chicks kept going, diverging more and more from the trail. We trekked through soft dirt and loose gravel...oooh man. I thought i was going to die in the beginning....cuz there was this almost river of dirt that kelsey tried to trudge through, if you weren't secured...you could fall into the ravine. when it was my turn, i saw this branch above me, so i grabbed it. I thought i was all successful..and i was going to get through...But the branch started to crack loudly and i just looked at it with widened eyes. Shannon started cracking up; wasn't helping my concentration. The freaking branch broke apart and i froze there..sliding slightly. I could just hear the frantic laughing of everyone else...i was worrying about how to stay up without sliding 20 feet down the dirt, to the bottom. I finally just threw the damn stick over my shoulder and jumped to the nearest bush...it hurt,, but it kept me up there. we continued..going up and down trails ,trying to get to the rock climbing. Yikes i was stabbed a good number of times by Yucca bushes...i even bled. Then there was a part where we had to slide down the dirt to get to the bottom...oh man, i was surfing, anna was all worried that i was gonna fall on my face, but i didn't. We went up a large rock and went down because there was nothing on the other side. On the way down from that one, one of my feet slid and i freakin stood up on the side of the freakin vertical mountain and ran a little..and almost fell over the side...but i caught myself...haha gave them a good scare. Another time, i was last and slid offa the face of a rock and well i had too much momentum and ran my legs into shannon's ..it was ok, my ass broke my fall..it was so funny, that i didn't notice the cuts on my wrists. We went up and down...rocks and paths...through trees and dried creek beds. Anna's a freak and took weird ways..through bushes and digging her face into Yucca needles. Kelso refused to jump anywhere..while Anna freaking dove offa the rock and almost over the other side of it. At one point...we were kinda stuck and anna decided to use a overhanging rock as an anchor...well she put a little bit of weight on it..and it...Fell off and broke into pieces below us. Er..at that point we thought " OK...going back the way we came now..." We found our way to a dry creek bed and followed it to some climbing rocks. We drank water and planned the next route. It started to get dark as we made our way down...Everyone convinced me to lead the way back up the mountain...it was all loose dirt and gravel..it was probably the hardest part of the trek. The dirt was up to our knees and all the hand holds dissappeared after each person used it. Poor Shannon almost fell off the side of the mountain..we were probably 40 feet up and she was sliding...while anchored with only one hand. Anna tried offering a hand, but she had nothing to hold onto either. I was up high planning where to go...Finally I reached the top..and around the trees, we ended up being atop a large rock..We sat up there drinking water and freaking out about the freaking dirt we trudged through. Shannon saw "Mufasa Rock" and mentioned that there was a trail leading to the parking lot right by it. We just had to crab walk sideways [where my pants tore..] to the dry creek bed....go up a hill down..and up the creek again...and finally, we had found the trail..And we thought it was going to be easy from then on...OH NOOO...the freakin trail was a half mile UPHILL. Oh god i was so dead after ward...but i felt REALLY good. We found poor chris looming around alone. We compared our battle scars...from Yucca bushes..falling, sliding...ripped pants in odd places..haha we had to behind each other at Sharky's. I'm so freaking tired..Chrispy called me up and asked me to the movies and i regretfully declined. I'll see everyone tomorrow at practice...good god i gotta do my laundry...That's all folks !

2002-07-27T01:28:00.000-07:00

sleeping sore. i woke up terribly sore in the quadriceps and biceps. i woke up at around 8 and went back to sleep waking up every hour from then...finally lifted my face from my pillow at 11:30 and put some new clothes on. Went downstairs to wait for rachel and whoever was going to practice today. Rach and chris came, late as usual...but that didn't matter, they were the only ones coming. Hannah came late...i learned the hard part of smooth criminal...just gotta practice. Taught chris the chair part and other things..Erl found out from JD, and from beth that we were dancing. Yo, i have nothing to say on the matter because we're WAYY too far into it to be re-teaching those parts again. He can be a good friend like Po and watch. Dude chris went the whole year not dancing with us and he's still a good sport. Garett is finally getting to dance with us this year and i'm glad for it. variAZN is dead and will always be. no more discrimination...its not a fucking variAZN reunion, NO FREAKING WAY. they left, then I ate a little...then i took a really long nap. woke up 30 minutes ago and ate corned beef and cabbage, very salty, so i ate a ton of rice with it ! haha, and here i am now.

Natch12: i feel like singing
Natch12: hehe i need my backup;-)
YeLLoDuCKiE1: AWW !
Natch12: well then...good night my favorite jennifer
YeLLoDuCKiE1: nighty night
yeah bryan made me feel good. i needed it, because this random guy had one of the most horrible conversations with me. He completely rubbed me the wrong way. you can READ IT and tell me i'm wrong to be a little irked by this guy. if you read it and don' t get why i was pissed, here are the main key's:
1) horrible grammar.
2) sayin that bio leads nowhere
3) tellin me to read unnecessary things.
4) guilt trips.
5) what does he care about the drinking?
6) telling me to relax?

AOL Women: can you decipher guy speak?
Your score: 55 out of 110.

Are you sure you're not a guy? You have a good grasp of what really goes on inside the male mind. You hold out the possibility that guys can be sweet, but know that in reality they are more often awkward or just plain clueless.

2002-07-26T11:54:00.000-07:00

one step forward, two steps back Mark woke me up this morning at 9:30. Thinking it was thursday, i panicked because i thought it was late in the afternoon already. But err, no, it was 9:30...he played the piano while i tried to wake up properly...yanno laying there under the ceiling fan wondering when it's gonna fall on me. He was going to see austin power's at 10:55. yeah, i was semi-invited....actually come to think of it...it was a before -thought...i mean initially invited and then they decided, "er, nah, she shouldn't go". eh probably didn't go down like that, but for some reason...i guess my brother didn't want me to go. And no..the excuse cannot be.."Oh i heard you were already doing something today.." Er no, you can't say that...i'm not leaving for Vasquez till 3 or 4..I can't hold it against anyone though. I guess its my fault, for not informing mark of my REAL plans...everything's my fault. i saw the car pull up 40 mph faster than it should be going in a neighborhood like mine. ooh that doesn't look good. But anyhoo, i cooked ramen noodles, ate a quarter of it, drank some water and watched Girl with dominique Swain and sean patrick flannery. it was interesting. i liked the music...but i think the concept of "groupies" kinda pissed me off a little too much.

Hey, guess what? I'm a--

What color Yoshi are you? Come take the quiz!

i was watching chocolat for the millionth time and the guys came back from the movie and chilled on the couch. i had been tired because i was chugging water after rehearsing with myself...yanno the dancin. But anyhoo,,,i changed and got ready to go rock climbing and dude it was AWESOME. shannon and kelso and anna picked me up at around 2:45 and we drove to shannons to wait for diana and whoever..which turned out to be, nobody. Anna wore shorts, what a dumb butt. Diana wore nice clothes...but ended up not messing them up AT ALL. I just came out really dusty. we packed the cooler and took the extremely large van to subway, ordered foot long sandwiches and put them in the cooler. I didn't put mine, however, because it was a "hot" sandwich. we drove the extremely large van with an airconditioner to Vasquez Rocks. Oh man, that was great...from shannon complaining about the dirt road that she thought went one way...to the park ranger telling us to leave while we were getting in the car. We got there and parked in a dirt lot, ate lunch under a great tree and just left our shit there. No one was around and if they were to steal ANYTHING, it'd just be food. Armed with water bottles we tackled many rock formations and trails. However, on the first one...I almost died. HAHA.. on the way down, i took the difficult way. The traction on my shoes was horrible. So..i was semi-crab walking down this flat face, about 10 feet up. I notice the jagged egdes start to dissappear and I have nowhere to hold...so i start to slide..i start squirming and kelso yells " I can catch you !" Err too bad she was joking. i scared the shit out of everybody. i slid fast, unintentionally mind you...on my feet, dragging my poor hands behind me. Yikes, it burned. I learned my lesson...after climbing up and down for about 2 hours, we took a break back at the tree. We headed back out, re-loaded with more water, err i had started to sweat tremendously. We headed south to south east to some interesting looking rocks...we found a really fun crevice to shimmy up. I laid there between the crack for about 3 minutes thinking about where to put my feet and hands. Everyone had already gone up...kelsey was getting worried and tried to get me to grab her foot. It was a little taxing, but i used my butt to hold myself up between the two walls. Haha my butt is useful for something besides pooing and making it hard for me to fit into kid pants. We sat atop the highest rocks and took water breaks, talking shit about people and things that happened. Dude when rock climbing, you can't help but think weird things. The following words are involved: hard, hole, rock, crack, hot and things of that nature. Can't help but muster a chuckle. HAHA kelsey ripped a hole in her butt. Shannon found a ..throne? The sun had started to set, so we decided to head back...kelso, anna and diana were completely lost, but luckily shannon and i have some sort of sense of direction. we ran up and down trails...sang my mexican graduation song estoy quemando aqui...ay yai yai yai...la luce del sol es caliente... sanf "We are the champions" and "The Circle of Life". All sweaty and tired, we made it back to the car, right when it got really dark. A park ranger drove up to tell us to leave because the park had closed. We were in the middle of washing ourselves with kelso's wash cloths ! sheesh. common decency is hard to find nowadays. Anyhoo...on the way home, we decided to call around and go to El pollo loco for soft serve. it was yumm. kelso went home with chris..and shannon dropped me home. I came in to see my mom bouncing, dance bouncing i mean...to some weird music. I went upstairs..took a shower...mark banged on the door telling me to call rachel, which i did after my shower. Meh, had to wait for my dad to get off the internet..and now..my night begins. yikes my muscles hurt.

Take the "Which Marvel Comics Hero are you" quiz!

2002-07-25T21:18:00.000-07:00

squinting at the moon Yeah, the past two days were pretty eventful. i spent all of wednesday with my mother. when she wasn't trying to talk to me, she was paying for something she had convinced me to buy. She woke me up pretty farking early in the morning...9 ! sheesh. I can't help it, i can't sleep early if i tried. especially when i'm not tired. dude it was 2 and she was yelling at me. Anyhoo...i took a shower and got into the car. we drove to Vons so she could get money..and i loaded up my newset 311 and mouse on mars CDs. yeah...she got pretty annoyed with my music. "Too much erroneous sounds" is what she said about Mouse on Mars. So she put in Alliicia Keyes. And i went..."Ack, not enough errouneous sounds..". That pissed her off a good bit. The gas station at the mall had been closed so we drove to acton to get gas, i bought breakfast at Jack in the Box..ate half of it and felt sick...i sat with my face pressed up against the window staring at passing cars. My mom wasn't compelled to use the Carpool lane AT ALL. So a while later...we arrived in L.A...exiting on 8th street, when the fashion district is on 9th...after the horrible maneuvering...we parked on top of a building and walked around looking for underwear. After buying lingerie, pants and PJs...we went to Burbank to eat at Chevy's...bought expensive shoes at Macy's...i had to wait, my mom was freaking buying funny looking dresses...I mean,, more funny looking that some of the clothes that i've worn. we drove home...Rachel called me and told me to come to her house at 6, it was 5:30. it was ok..i got home ,brought my crap up stairs...packed a little and asked my dad to drive me over. I got there and we practiced our butts off...until about 2 in the morning. then i woke up to some girl staring at me...anyhoo, we practiced a ton today too...and ken brought me home. i took a nap and rach called saying tons more people are dancing with us.. err, i know we get a big stage now, but that doesn't mean we NEED to add more people, especially more people that are JUST joining in today, after we had learned for the past 3 days... i dunno i'm really iffy about it. Anyhoo, I'm going rock climbin tomorrow, with shannon, kelso and others. yee-haw ! this should be REALLY fun. er austin powers comes out tomorrow and i wanna see it...erf. oh well. talking to bryan right now...

YeLLoDuCKiE1: now i can teach you stuff when i come over.
YeLLoDuCKiE1: because its really fun
Natch12: =-O=-O=-O
Natch12: cool
Natch12: but i have to warn u now...
Natch12: i suck\
Natch12: at dancing
Natch12: modern thingys....
YeLLoDuCKiE1: lol...HEY. it'll just be us anyway.
Natch12: lol
Natch12: haha okay
YeLLoDuCKiE1: dude..i just learned how to dance..remember?
Natch12: so... ?
Natch12: ur like
Natch12: SUPER WOMAN
Natch12: u know how to speak spanish
Natch12: and like
Natch12: dance
YeLLoDuCKiE1: oh shut up
Natch12: and sing
Natch12: and do all sorts of stuff
Natch12: im like
Natch12: omg it took me 2 years to learn how to swing dance
Natch12: which is looooooooooooong
YeLLoDuCKiE1: but you're really good
Natch12: but that was like a loooong time ago...
Natch12: im not even good nemore
YeLLoDuCKiE1: freakin bryan...
Natch12: :-(
YeLLoDuCKiE1: quit it. you're great ;)
Natch12: ookay i'll stop
Natch12: thanks though:-)
YeLLoDuCKiE1: dude, if i'm so great, what are you? i only talk to the BEST.
Natch12: lol
Natch12: awww
Natch12: hehe okay okay
Natch12: that was a good line
YeLLoDuCKiE1: lol..whoa, i scared myself there
Natch12: hahahhaa
YeLLoDuCKiE1: i'm not used to flattering other people.
Natch12: that was a goooooood line
Natch12: well there ya go
Natch12: when u do flatter ppl
Natch12: its like
Natch12: WHOA WATCH OUT!
YeLLoDuCKiE1: HAHAHAHA
i was tempted pretty good and took another quiz...the Barbie quiz:You are Ballerina Barbie! You are graceful and take care of your body. Dancing is your passion and five bucks says you can balance a book on your head really well.

2002-07-23T02:19:00.000-07:00

before we depart... yeah i was lookin forward to chilling today cuz like chandi came back and all the sisters were in town. so we decided to chill today. vocke and rachel had plans, but chris and i crashed with chandi and amit. dude we were cracking up..cuz we were in the middle of rachel's street and were arguing about whose car to take...so amit started to walk to his...vocke started to walk to his and chris started to walk to his...and the girls follwed as so : chandi, rachel..then i followed chris to his car. Bethany and mrs. sutherland were cracking up...indians in the white accord....asians in the black civic..and white people in the white accord. we didn't plan it that way..but it just happened...we were in a group and suddenly dispersed the way we did. it was great. we had a good laugh on the way to movies 12 to pick up free passes. We went to 22 and saw k-19, the widow maker. that was pretty damn good. I can already see the cliches coming around next week " You are a hero, you are ALL heros !" hahaha.we also sat in the row funny. [amit]chandi [scottie]rachel[me]chris. Masculine on the left..lol hahahahah. chris got cold so he stuck his arms in his short sleeved shirt...then a strange man came in the middle of the movie..stared at us and said "You guys watchin the movie??" and he sat next to chris.. he was pretty freaked out. it was great. Then we talked in the parking lot...putzed around in the arcade...kicked chris' ass in DDR. hahahaha. watched amit and chandi play some ninja shooting game. drove to Denny's chilled there eating cheese fries and talking shit about people..and plannin another dance routine...eh, very tentative for August 3rd, details tomorrow... anyhoo..we drove to rachel's and chilled until my mom called for me to come home at 1. chris was playing with my phone...hahah the people in rach's neighborhood scare me. anyway i came home and sat at the computer after i went pee...and that was my evening.

What Kind of Relationship is Right For You?

YeLLoDuCKiE1: i saw k-19 and ate at Denny's.
QtxBoY068: o man!~~ i wanna watch that movie...and that other one with tom hanks
QtxBoY068: i came back from the spa
QtxBoY068: just relaxed with some friends
YeLLoDuCKiE1: yeah? that's kool, spas are fun
YeLLoDuCKiE1: Road to perdition isn't out in my valley.
YeLLoDuCKiE1: k-19 was surprisingly good.
QtxBoY068: o yes they are..and where were u yellow duckie?
QtxBoY068: really? out of four stars..what would u rate it
YeLLoDuCKiE1: 3 and a half.
YeLLoDuCKiE1: i went into the movie thinking that it wasn't going to be that great.
QtxBoY068: pretttty good..pretty good
YeLLoDuCKiE1: i laughed...even gasped a few times and held my hand over my mouth
QtxBoY068: why would u watch it then?
QtxBoY068: haha how cute
YeLLoDuCKiE1: i have a democratic group of friends.
YeLLoDuCKiE1: i even dug my face into my friend's shoulder once, only once.
QtxBoY068: HaH
QtxBoY068: was it that intense?
QtxBoY068: or are u exxagerating
YeLLoDuCKiE1: nahh, i told you, only once !
YeLLoDuCKiE1: i don't like blood that much.
QtxBoY068: haha sUUUre
YeLLoDuCKiE1: heyyy..you don't know me dude, how are you judging?
QtxBoY068: your more of a PG-13 kind of girl
QtxBoY068: =)
QtxBoY068: heheh im just kidding sweety
YeLLoDuCKiE1: hey it was a historical flick, i'm not into history that much.
YeLLoDuCKiE1: pg-13...haha.
QtxBoY068: so im guessing you went to watch it because of ur friends?
YeLLoDuCKiE1: and because nothing else was worth watching or I had already seen it.
YeLLoDuCKiE1: I thought "oh what the heck.."
YeLLoDuCKiE1: watching liam neelson trying to speak in a russian accent was entertaining enough
QtxBoY068: well...at least the movie was good =)
YeLLoDuCKiE1: yeah, it was.
QtxBoY068: wOo hOo
Yanno that above conversation was with my newest friend Lee. I can honestly say I've never had such a sincere conversation with such a stranger. It was a very long time into the conversation before we knew each other's names. He was actually interested in what i had to say, not to "TrAdE PiX WiD meEh" hahahaha. he think's we're meant to be since we're both going to Davis and both shorties. hahaha i thought that we had absolutely nothing in common...but for some reason we kept talking. I mean, he's a design major and i'm a bio major. then again what you like doesn't directly dictate your personality. because..our personalities we almost the same. or were they? he may not have liked the music that i like, but he was interested and willing to learn and listen. I think that's what i'm into...yanno people who listen and learn and pay attention. i guess it works. people teach me things everyday, and its nice to pass it on yanno? Lee was awesomely bent on making me smile and feeling good about myself. Who doesn't like THAT? dude there are just some people that are out to hurt me and i'm starting not to like it. people just sit there and tell me things that make me feel bad, maybe i should speak up. you wouldn't think they would WANT to hurt me...but they do. i mean, what if this person didn't know or mean to or couldn't help it . well no matter the circumstances or intentions, if it hurts...it should stop...

Jenn "Determined" De------
Nothing stands between you and the proverbial brass ring. If you encounter any obstacles in your path, you quickly and effortlessly sidestep them or obliterate them. At the end of the day, you are standing tall and enjoying the thrill of victory.
Vital Gear
Includes a Palm Pilot, ready cash and a base of operations.

Well i stopped talking to Lee at like 5 in the morning...i heard my father starting to yawn across the hall so i quietly turned everything off and took my mouse on mars cd and listened to it while i tried to fall asleep in my room. mark woke me up at like 12:30 to tell me chandi and rachel were coming over..i was like "mmmh huh?" they came while i started to watch bedazzled. they handed me a michael jackson dvd. oop we're doing the mystery parts and parts that Carlin's group did. i think its funny how KIIS FM didn't ask THEM to do it. since they won yanno..it would have only been right...but OH WELL...they want us. even after our crappy mall performance, they still wanted US. I'm cornfuzzled. meh i gotta burn the cd...aiight. sidenote: saw sosko's away message. " I am away from the computer because somehow I found a life" good for him. Now..i think its my turn dude.

Natch12: ur gonna be all famous now
Natch12: and then i can say
Natch12: HA!! I WENT TO PROM W/ HER!!

dude, we called up peeps all day to decide what song to do on August 3rd..we finally decided on both versions of Smooth criminal and Dangerous. we practiced what we knew and learned like 5 minutes worth of stuff today...i was all tired and sweaty. during the step step cross over, i cracked my spine so loud, everyone started laughing and calling me old and decrepid. so i'm going around L.A. with my mom tomomorrow...and sleeping over at rachel's so we can practice. haha. i talked to Bryan for the first time in a long time. DUDE JADE GRADUATED. Meh she's supposed to graduate with Bryan and brandon ! OMG...she had too many credits so she just decided in june to graduate a year early. WHAT A FREAK. she's havin a grad party in 2 weeks. oh i'm SO going. lol...oh and bryan figured out how to send emails to my phone and i finally figgered out that damn @ sign on my phone haha ..if you have my cell #, e-mail me ~!

2002-07-21T18:55:00.000-07:00

familial headvomit dude i don't think my prents have ever argued so much in public and in front of me. it was soooo obnoxious. my father is getting really annoying. he's starting to lay guilt trips in spite of things that others say. its ridiculous. and when he yells at one of us, it becomes plural. even if the other kid wasn't even in the vicinity. anyhoo. my parents dragged us to my grandparents house last night...grandma came strolling into my room, very naked early this morning to wake me up.. we were going to IHOP. dude, that food didn't settle well either. on the way, my parents were arguing about some stupid route to go to church and pick up my uncle. At the table..my mom would talk openly about my dental problems and my uncle's diabetes...fucking A. it was so annoying. then we went to taco bell and debated about soft chalupas and hard gorditas....then we came home.

talked to chandi, she just got home too...gonna chill with her and that hairy man sometime i think...
YeLLoDuCKiE1: hey chandi said to tell her special friend that she'll talk to him later.
Xl nite lx: okie : (
YeLLoDuCKiE1: why the sad face?
Xl nite lx: i missed her
Xl nite lx: my chance to talk to her that is
Xl nite lx: im to manly for the other thing
YeLLoDuCKiE1: lol
YeLLoDuCKiE1: i was about to go " aww how cute.." but you ruined it
Xl nite lx: damn staight
YeLLoDuCKiE1: good one...

got bored, filled out a survey, email me to read it. took another one of those quizzes

What obscure band are you?

maybe i'll look for some of their stuff after my 311 is done DLing..DUDE i DLed a ton of Mouse on Mars, they freakin rock ! They're so obscure! they're so ME! meanwhile, i was complaining to chris about my undying boredom, so he sent me a site :findapix.com. omg, that's so FUNNY! check my profile out. ken, chris and jared are up on that site too if you wanna check it out. its hilarious ! In the process of making 3 cds : 311: Transistor, Mouse on Mars:Idiology and a Jenn cd, songs with y name in it.

What Obscure Animal are you?

2002-07-20T15:55:00.000-07:00

Crying in the corner Dude i stayed up since we got here to let other family members into the house. Mush called me the hotel manager, when they finally arrived at 3:30 AM.i slept in till 11 and had only half an hour to get ready before kids started showing up. Like Melanie said, "They're NOT on Filipino time, they'll be here on time". i was in charge of the body tattoos and face painting. Mel was in charge of the magic wands and crowns. Mark was in charge of the ball pit and spin art. I think it was before the caramel apples and after the cake...but Kaitlin, my so called 4th grade assistant launched a coup de tat. Another small child named rhianna attacked me and held me down while kaitlin drew a pirate skull and cross bones on my shoulder...she also put "PIRITE SKULL" underneath..then a blue happy face. Oh man, i was crying bloody murder and no one, no adults came to help..other kids..just swarmed and grabbed the paint pens and were about to attack me..But casey saved me and said "Hey guys, that's not funny !" Yay. All of my relatives kept giving me funny looks from the black markings on my upper arm. i helped the kids make crowns...eat...there was a pair of cute sisters named Eloise and Phobe. They were so smart. Eloise was small and quiet, very fair white skin and cutie freckles. Phoebe was slightly tanned, taller and smarter. Very eloquent for a 7 year old. She talked of other things...yanno worldly things that people my age have trouble thinking about. I didn't have that much personality when i was younger. The wild child, Rhianna came with her two younger sisiters..Riley and Rachelle. Rachelle had the most adorable hair, she had a fountain held up by a single daisy flower tie.i was jumping with those three in the jumpy house, because their mom had stayed after the kid party and talked for a while. She was one of those moms that lost weight really fast after pregnancy. She was one of those Hot moms yanno? The ones with the high voice, but really sweet. She was dressed similarly to me, short-overalls..white shirt. She asked me to babysit her three girls because they have no family at all up here and they seemed to have liked me a lot. The youngest clung to me when i carried her. Those girls really did like me. The bounced up and down, holding my hands in a circle bouncing more. Showing off " Jennifer look how high i can jump !" they were so cute. Meanwhile, all the older kids stayed inside and cool. then finally the kids left and the relatives started showing up..a second pinata was broken and here i am chewin on a nerd rope and cooling off from that hectic party. I kept complaining that i never had a party like that. The girls were arguing.."Oh yeah? Well i have 16 presents right now" and another would go "Well i had 30 at mine.." And i go..."Hey, I only had ONE" and i watched their disgusted faces. haha..my cruise. Caramel apples...crowns..wands..face painting, spin art, barbeque, cake, fries, a bouncy house , bingo and give away toys that filled two shopping bags. GOOD GOD, this family is rich.

What Was Your PastLife?

2002-07-19T00:49:00.000-07:00

Never high on life.. dude, i'm freakin buzzing from the fumes coming from my room. I decided to empty all my doodads from my rolley drawer thing...and there was a whole thing a nail polish that had gone bad. supposedly, if you put on old nail polish your nails stain. well, i actually know this from first-hand experience. sooo, what to do with all this extra nail polish? like..12 bottles...erf, i painted over the fronts of the clear plastic drawers..to cover up old labels..."Nail polish" or " hair things" "pictures" or " stuff" i'm sure i'll put different things in when i get to Davis. they're all drying right now in my room...dude the fumes are mingling their way through the rest of the house. i spilled some on my leg..wonder if it'll stain. Nail polish should be an art medium. Meh, i woulda blown away the art world if i had been an artist. hahaha. i packed already, we're leaving tomorrow afternoon for Casey's party. i'm bringing a box of clothes...pants, jackets and winter stuff to store in my new weekend studio in San Ramon. started to watch Starship Troopers....ate a peach....yumm

familiar headaches.. i took a shower and put my trial contacts in. Oh yeah, those headaches that make me crave for that advil. Yumm. We're not leaving until 6..6:30...not gonna get to San Ramon will late. sheesh. painted the sides of my rolley drawers..since there are 9 drawers...i put two sentences along each of the sides. "Can you hokey pokey? That's what its all about" and "And then we all fall down and go splat !" hahah i'm gonna scare my roommates.

2002-07-18T03:17:00.000-07:00

i ~~THINK~~ know i scare my mother yah dee dah. yesterday , dinner was really great. it was this yummy garlicy ravioli that tasted great without sauce and ok with it. afterwards..the HBO screen The Virgin suicides by sofia coppola was next...i went off raving about how great it was, i didn't notice until a second later that my mother was mortified. more than the time that i said the movie Cheaters was a great movie too. haha. Well anyhoo, she kinda does have reason to worry..sometimes. haha. after everyone went to bed at like 10..yeah my family sleeps early. i watched some tv downstairs to let them sleep before i went back on the internet upstairs. I watched freddy got fingered...hahaha tom green rocks. watched the first half of Mrs. Doubtfire....had some red wine. its not my thing...drank half a pitcher of iced tea. spent two hours cleaning and packing things in my room. boxes of papers to go to the attic..clothes that i'm taking to college. MAN I CAN'T FUCKING WAIT. and now i'm chillin here...alone. on the internet. i even noticed that no one really IMs me anymore either. that's kinda sad. meh whatever. strike that:
Xl nite lx: we have the #1 karate team in the nation [irvine]
Xl nite lx: go figure huh?
YeLLoDuCKiE1: ooooh !
YeLLoDuCKiE1: LOL
Xl nite lx: i met one of my old friends from jr high in ontario and he's going to davis too
Xl nite lx: he is pretty stoked, although he thinks it will be boring
YeLLoDuCKiE1: is he hot??
Xl nite lx: id do him
YeLLoDuCKiE1: hook me up foo !
YeLLoDuCKiE1: lol
Xl nite lx: aight...dont trip
Xl nite lx: hes not online right now, but ill let him know
YeLLoDuCKiE1: yeah, i hope he likes weird girls.
Xl nite lx: i dont know...he is friends with me so he is pretty wierd
YeLLoDuCKiE1: hehe
Xl nite lx: but maybe not, because he is a sweetheart

called chris and saw what was up...uhm..nothing really..he works today at 3. almost watched the Shining..but i was kinda interuppted a few times..then i didn't have the stomach to watch the movie anymore or eat..or write my newest song. so, now, totally bummed out..i have to find my father's work number so he can take me to my eye appt. well i kept dialing the wrong number...so er, i called my mom. And she was scrubbed so she couldn't come to the phone. er so i called tony...out of the blue. and asked him to take me to the mall...he hung around through the whole appt. and after...my mom came by and dissappeared...and apparently she had paid for one year's worth of contacts...yeah, then she left us...we went walking...then driving around..then had some sandwiches at the Euro-deli. i bought a warsaw and some chocolate. got home and...talked on the phone with rachel and lucia....weird..finally some human contact. And i'm leaving tomorrow for Frisco. yah dee dah, bringing some clothes over..

2002-07-17T11:27:00.000-07:00

Oh my Ska family.. oh man, there's a freakin Save Ferris Show at the Orange county fair dude! ITs this friday and i can't go, i'm leaving for Frisco again for Casey's party. DAMMIT. my favorite freakin band man!!!
SAVE FERRIS
Friday, July 19
One of Orange County's most popular bands in the past decade, Save Ferris brings their brand of ska/pop/swing to the Fair for the first time, with hits such as "Come on Eileen" and "Under 21."

WAHHH they've finally finished their asia-college-club scene and i can finally be allowed to go into one of their shows..and NOW I CAN'T GO ! dude...ok, they need to play a club tour NOW, i'm 18, let's get on with this ! yeah i DLed some Ska covers...by dur..SAVE FERRIS. And i remember this emo- ska group that Hannah tried to show me, Like David. Dude they rock. I'm burning a few cds tonight...my emo and ska. I love you ! The Save ferris site inspired me...gonna mimic their site for one of my many layouts. plus i'm gonna burn all of my smashing pumpkin cds and sugar ray and stuf and imma sell them to the Wherehouse so i can have concert money, cuz maybe there's a warp tour that needs a jenn to visit...hahaha i woke up at the usual noonish...mom came home with mark and she took us to Arby's...i felt kinda sick during the meal, maybe it was all that horseradish in the morning...it was noon, but morning to ME. i went home and slept...and well here i am...downloading more music. what a life this is. i added a guestbook to this site and my angelfire one...SIGN IT !

2002-07-16T01:32:00.000-07:00

blending in.. i've been sitting around on my tush again. i made my asianavenue.com page really nice. it actually looks decent. Ever since i made my Bitterness Barbie Layout ...i've been getting realy keen with the html, design and java. Pretty neato huh? talked to Auntie Earmah. Planning a wild and crazy August before she starts school. buncha maybes: clubbin, mexico, beach, daygo, melrose, whitewater rafting...visiting friends like Tiffananiny..Bry..Jade..Yanno. Anyway, getting ready for college. i have orierientation on the 30th. pretty freaky. i wanna meet my roommates now. dude i hope to GOD that i got Quarto. still deciding the band issue. do i wanna do it this year? wanna shop for more school clothes..L. A. here i come. watch out burbank !

Sorority sluts OY! i watched soroity girls...one whole episode and i got pretty annoyed. That blonde girl's obnoxious up the WAZOO. And they make FUN of the girl that was worried about her midterms and volunteering. God damn MTV. They fuck up everything. See that's why I didn't wanna be on the phobia show. Exploit something that doesn't need to be exploited. That's MY school. They're just focusing on everything BUT school. Yeah they'll mention a little blurb about having a paper due or something, but there's no actually studying or...writing..all i see is drinking, lecturing, hot tubbin..Not much of a life there. I thought sororities were better than that. Plus i heard that sorority was a JEWISH one? eh i dunno, not gonna watch. anyhoo. I went out today to the mall and watched people play ddr. I'm starting to get annoyed with that game. Well anyone would be annoyed if they had to watch something that they suck at, when especially your friends are wayyyy the fuck better than you. Yeah its because i don't practice, yeah its because i don't have money...and yeah its because i don't like messing up in front of people. I'm a little too prideful for that game. haha..my friends probably noticed, which is why they didn't even invite me to play. i could come to the mall with the group intention to play, but no one really expects me to play. And if it twere proposed, i would most likely decline. anyhoo, i bought cranberry apple tea because i had a headache. i took advil and sat there. tried to get my extra battery for my phone...mark was right, they DID get my number. and NO they didn't have my battery. went to jamba juice and got a peach thing..its still sitting in my freezer. went home..read some mansfield park..i'm still in episode one out of three. and on chapter 13 out of 18 in episode 1. hahaha this is gonna take forever...then i fell asleep cuz my headache came back and i couldn't reach that yummy advil..

2002-07-14T22:14:00.000-07:00

Conversationalists My run-ins with the aim people...
YeLLoDuCKiE1: i have orientation on the 30th
Xl nite lx: i have orientation wednesday
Xl nite lx: its a special engineering orientation though so im guessing its gonna be a bunch of indians and asains
YeLLoDuCKiE1: hahaha..
YeLLoDuCKiE1: yeah mines with just exercise bio people.
Xl nite lx: heheh...future PE teachers of america!!!
YeLLoDuCKiE1: yanno what..
YeLLoDuCKiE1: you suck.
YeLLoDuCKiE1: farkin amit.
Xl nite lx: come on, it will be cool
Xl nite lx: you know some of those people are gonna end up being PE teachers
YeLLoDuCKiE1: yeah..some of them, but not ME
Xl nite lx: PE teacher is a respectable job
Xl nite lx: we need people to whip our young into shape
YeLLoDuCKiE1: AMEET. dude. that sucks. you're killin me man.
Xl nite lx: im sowry jen
Xl nite lx: but you have to admit, it would be funny
Xl nite lx: just like if i owned a 7/11
YeLLoDuCKiE1: lol
YeLLoDuCKiE1: HAHAHAHAHA
YeLLoDuCKiE1: ok ok
Xl nite lx: guess what!!! i know why its called 7/11
YeLLoDuCKiE1: why?
Xl nite lx: it was created on July 11th
YeLLoDuCKiE1: oh...interesting.
Xl nite lx: they had a special 75th anniversery or something where they gave free slurpees on Jully 11th
YeLLoDuCKiE1: lol
YeLLoDuCKiE1: that's tight.
Xl nite lx: you bet your bottom it is

2002-07-10T22:15:00.000-07:00

so what you're tryin to say is...? a synopsis of my summer.

YeLLoDuCKiE1: hey !!!
THCJohnnyBLaZe: Hi
YeLLoDuCKiE1: how was Vegas?
THCJohnnyBLaZe: fun
YeLLoDuCKiE1: that's tight ;)
THCJohnnyBLaZe: i got back yesterday night
YeLLoDuCKiE1: yeah?
THCJohnnyBLaZe: yea
YeLLoDuCKiE1: i just watched Clerks.
YeLLoDuCKiE1: it was funny.
THCJohnnyBLaZe: hehe
THCJohnnyBLaZe: never saw that movie
YeLLoDuCKiE1: doh man, my cousin finally got off the computer..i've been without the internet for like a week.
THCJohnnyBLaZe: haha
THCJohnnyBLaZe: dang that sucks
THCJohnnyBLaZe: i cant stand not having a computer
YeLLoDuCKiE1: Yeah well at least i haven't been bored by myself..that woulda sucked more.
THCJohnnyBLaZe: lol
YeLLoDuCKiE1: I came back from San Fran with two of my cousins.
YeLLoDuCKiE1: and we're going back on Saturday
THCJohnnyBLaZe: yea how was that
THCJohnnyBLaZe: nice
YeLLoDuCKiE1: it was ok...its like being bored in someone else' bigger house.
THCJohnnyBLaZe: lol
THCJohnnyBLaZe: u could jump around
YeLLoDuCKiE1: yeah...but i'd break something expensive.
YeLLoDuCKiE1: its THAT kinda house.
YeLLoDuCKiE1: i watched a ton of movies.
THCJohnnyBLaZe: ahh
THCJohnnyBLaZe: ever watch mall rats?
YeLLoDuCKiE1: not yet..that's on the list.
YeLLoDuCKiE1: I plan to watch all the Kevin smith movies.
THCJohnnyBLaZe: never heard of him
YeLLoDuCKiE1: "silent bob" ?
YeLLoDuCKiE1: he directed mall rats, clerks ,dogma and jay and silent bob strike back.
YeLLoDuCKiE1: ..oh and chasing amy.
THCJohnnyBLaZe: watch these: hangin with the homeboys, mallrats, four rooms, loverboy, and other one lemmme look
THCJohnnyBLaZe: and bottlerocket
YeLLoDuCKiE1: yeahhh
YeLLoDuCKiE1: my dad bought clerks..and was cracking up during the movie...
YeLLoDuCKiE1: he was laughin more than ME

2002-07-09T00:25:00.000-07:00

Super Freakin Vacation day 1 Woke up at noon...ish. Ketheryn told me emy mom was talking to me while i was sleeping. Yeah that's like her to do that. Meh.. anyway i finally called Davis..and they weren't even gonna send the notification this week. I dunno what ma was freakin out about. MEH ! Fried some tortillas and had weird taco salad things..fried some lumpia. Watched movies all day...went shopping at Vons at like 9 o clock. Only spent 20 dollars ~!! Went swimming..kinda..we lounged on the floating mats trying to to change colors...BUT WE DID anyway. Ate crackers outside..almost finished a pitcher of koolaid already..drained a pot of tea..YUM...aiee i'm gonna get fat. hahaha we ventured into Mark's room about 10 minutes ago. It was the funniest thing EVER...yahahahahaha. We used to mess with mark when we were younger cuz yanno he talks in his sleep. We stuck our feet under the bed so that if he woke up we could lie down quickly and he wouldn't see anything. I was whispering his name all scary like and quiet. Keytheryn found it overwhelming and ran out the door holding her mouth. I kept repeating his name...and THEN Ariane decided to say "Markkk... give meeee 20 dollarsssss..." And mark opened his eyes and said "NO" OMG he scared the freaking shit out of us and we busted up laughing on the floor.

Super Freakin vacation day 2 My mom got called into work in the odd hours of the night..so she was free to roam the valley with us. i'm having a hard time separating the events of all the days because of the werid sleeping hours.. we skipped the alfredo and went to the mall with my mom she bought us clothes..keytheryn had "cruel" intentions for those ankle pants...well they were meant to be ankle pants.. on her they were normal pants ! hehehe. well we roamed more, saw bryan and mom and samm and ali..ate at Sharky's...browsed target and sat at Barnes and noble. my mom went to work late again. Me and ariane made waffles at like 3 in the morning and watched harry potter till we fell asleep.

Super freakin vacation day 3 ma wouldn't leave me alone. she suggested going to Valencia today..but by the time i woke up..it was 1:30 in the afternoon and she said I was too late..as if i had wanted to go to Valencia. What were we gonna do there huh? WE HAVE NO MORE MONEY. instead we made the alfredo and breadsticks. it was OK. Made like 3 pitchers of koolaid. Went swimming...went to cold stones. ew ariane made mint and butterscotch and marshmallows? my mom lounged in the spa by herself while we watched Clerks. might roast some smores over the sterno canned heat things...its too windy to barbeque...

Super freakin vacation day 4 woke up at the usual noonish...dad was buggin us to get outta the house. so keitheryn called her uncles and arranged for them to tske us to universal on friday..we already had our four tix. Sooo...my dad shipped us to hollywood..after getting lost on Laurel canyon, we found the house in the hollywood hills. Keith's uncle was a male nurse for this old white guy in a wheelchair who had apparently designed costumes for old tv shows. We swam in the pool..the BANANA ! took showers..and left because they has arranged for us to sleep in Cerritos at another uncle's house. on the way, we stopped at some shopping center, ate at johnny rockets listened to many oldies..stared at the cute waiter...looked at clothes we couldn't afford and went to cerritos...Faye's really nice...mark wouldn't let us SLEEP. omg that boy needs to see a snoring doctor cuz none of us could sleep at all.

Super freakin vacation day 5 woke to the sound of clanking dishes...and crying child. i sat up groggy and pissed off. we all glared at Mark. got ready...went to nasty mcdonalds to eat. i rode in the back with faye. on the way to universal...we all fell asleep. we got there in a flash and were dropped off with more money now. my dad gave us 40..uncle niko gave us 40...uncle legut gave us 50...yeah. We got into the park, sutffed our things into a locker and went to the mummy thing. Ariane would let me or mark go...we were practically running through there..i was smashed against the wall a few times..my boob hurt pretty bad. Then we went to Back to the Future. I realized it was like the Flying over california ride...its just a whole buncha people being raised up to an IMAX screen. Then we went down numerous flights of escalator stairs...took a few pictures....went to Backdraft. That was kool. Then we were to ET. Mark said his name was John. ET said my NAME ! woohoo. Then we went on Jurassic. we sat in the front and got soaked. It wasn't as scary as the last time, when we were little. We went back up the stairs...Went on the NEW tram ride. that was awesome, they have tv screens and stuff now. Same old special effects...our guide was hot, his name was glenn. but he was sort of a prick. we went to wolfgang puck's for lunch on the citywalk..the stamp thing for my hand smudged a lot.Went back into the park..went to the terminator show thing. that was kinda kool. Walked around bored..and we watched the rugrats magic show. that was ENTERTAINING. i bought cotton candy..it was pink and yellow...it was yummy. We walked around citywalk...bought music box things...got our stuff from the locker and waite for my dad to pick us up. We drove to santa clarita and ate at a japanese restaurant. Convinced that ariane was gonna throw up on bouquet canyon...we drove home on the freeway. We packed and slept early except for keitheryn...

super freakin vacation day 6 we all just piled into the flat back seat and slept the whole way, only waking up to eat. We arrived at their house at like noon, had some palabok and well, that was it. my dad was in a hurry to leave, so we did and went to grandma's. i felt horrible, cramps...anyhoo...went ot meet uncle feb, got me a bike...stayed at auntie Jov's, watched the Others. left the house at 8 this morning and here i am..tired, PMSy..and well bored. And that concludes my Super ferakin vacation. Back to reality.

2002-07-07T01:36:00.000-07:00

oooooh-weee just finished playing the longest game of billiards EVER. IT was horrible. Keitheryn and i couldn't get any into the pockets for like...half an hour. Maybe it was cuz we were watching Ocean's 11 too. that's a really good movie. my father and uncle ordered it for an 11:30 showing..and fell asleep on the couch snoring, like boyfren and girlfren. Yeah , i made some instant potatoes...horrible. sat around and its late..we have nothing to do....Jessica's baptism is in like...10 hours. we should sleep. But will we? hahhhahahaha.. that's a good one. i've got the internet now and a power converter for the car, we're gonna have a lovely time driving back. hey i just counted...

100th ENTRY !
oh happy day !...er...night? tis' 1:39. SUBMIT !

b is for baptism... Jessica's baptism was pretty entertaining. We packed all our stuff and loaded it into the car...played som billiards while we waited for everyone else. Went to a 30 minute mass.. i wonder why the priests were in such a hurry. MAybe it was too hot in there and they DIDN'T wanna take off their clothes. MAxine was freakin cravin attentions the wholeeeee mass. Even during the baptism. She was showing off her shoes...and Mark kinda got sick of it and took her shoe and threw it across the pews. She cried of course. Mark's a bad man. Very bad man. Jessica was oiled and dunked...and well usually babies cry. Hey i was practically drowned...! Jessica was smiling and laughing ! dude it was..weird. Drove to a bike shop...Uncle Feb hassled the employees...yadda yadda.. drove to Fremont to eat the 12 course meal. rearranged the stuff in the car so that we could sit and watch movies. Bah that idea went kaput. Snacked and finally arrived home...putzed around and watched Pretty in Pink...sorta. Well i fell asleep and that's that.

2002-07-06T23:24:00.000-07:00

home sweet home part 2 got boba with the cousins...ate mcdonalds...went to sun valley mall.got two pairs of shoes..socks. a shirt. a beanie. ate a steak sandwich. dude. lounged. went to kit n ariane's house..ate soup. tea. helped them pack, they're coming to stay with me for a week. YEEHAW ! watched half of chocolat and fgot all tired. woke up at 11.got all mad at my cell phone. ate lunch there. drove to grandma's ate barbeque. Went to see bourne identity after we bought nothing with grandma..bought hair dye and wax. ate more barbeque. drove to borders...bought a bruce lee dvd and another journal. drove to uncle feb's had more barbeque. screamed and jumped with maxi..came here. unpacked. thenn....---

Speechless.
International Baccalaureate Results Service
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The following provisional results are available for the subjects you entered in the MAY 2002 examination session as at 7 July, 2002.

Name: Jennifer
IBO Ref: MAY 2002, 1062-030
Category: Diploma
Result: 29 points : - Diploma awarded

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Session Subject Level Grade
MAY 2002 ENGLISH A1 HL 5
MAY 2002 SPANISH B SL 6
MAY 2002 HIST.AMERICAS HL 4
MAY 2002 BIOLOGY EE D
MAY 2002 BIOLOGY HL 3
MAY 2002 MATH.STUDIES SL 5
MAY 2002 MUSIC COMP. SL 5
MAY 2002 THEORY KNOWL. TK B

------------------------------------
Xl nite lx: how many points?
YeLLoDuCKiE1: 29..sheesh man..
YeLLoDuCKiE1: what about you?
Xl nite lx: 27 : (
YeLLoDuCKiE1: at least we passed.
YeLLoDuCKiE1: how'd you do in physics?
Xl nite lx: 4...lot better than i though
YeLLoDuCKiE1: that's kool
YeLLoDuCKiE1: cuz like.. i got a 3 in bio.. that was really weird to me.
Xl nite lx: really...what did you make it up with
YeLLoDuCKiE1: spanish
YeLLoDuCKiE1: got a 6
YeLLoDuCKiE1: i got 5's everywhere else
Xl nite lx: oh...i got a 7 in math, 5 in spanish, 3 in art, and 4s in all my HLs
YeLLoDuCKiE1: 7 ???
YeLLoDuCKiE1: good god, in METHODS?
Xl nite lx: yeah
Xl nite lx: so did drew
YeLLoDuCKiE1: you guys ROCK
Xl nite lx: heheh
Xl nite lx: yul got a 7 in spanish
YeLLoDuCKiE1: rocking..i felt all surprised on the spanish, i like wrote a crappy essay
Xl nite lx: heheh, i was suprised too..i though i was just gonna pull of a 4
YeLLoDuCKiE1: senora's gonna cry.
YeLLoDuCKiE1: know anyone that didn't get the diploma?
YeLLoDuCKiE1: what about Christopher?
Xl nite lx: dont know
Xl nite lx: he lost his pin code
YeLLoDuCKiE1: lol
Xl nite lx: so did anna

2002-07-05T13:42:00.000-07:00

home sweet home. Dad woke me up at 4 and yelled at me to get ready to leave for the North. I growled and went back to sleep. at4:45...i dragged myself from mine bed and plopped down in the car. Yeah i woke up 3 hours later for breakfast at Kettleman...JACK IN THE BOX. Eh felt all car sick. Then i fell asleep again. Woke up ...ended up at the San Ramon house. The million dollar one. Ate barbeque, took care of the cousins....took my stuff outta the car. Changed into a bathing suit....played on the slip n slide...yeah I'm too big for it, but who the hell cares. IT was freaking freezing. Took a shower....went to see Men in Black 2. I laughed out loud a million times...but its not really a movie i'd necessarily LIKE. Kit and ariane appeared at the house when i came back. We went to Ate Vergie's sat around with the cousins....set off illegal fireworks for like 2 hours..that was a big box o shit. Sat around some more..slept on the floor of the living room. Woke up at noon...got some boba...ate mcdonalds...Getting ready to leave for the mall. haha..my dad was thinking of leaving me here for the next two weeks. Eh what am i gonna do fo 2 weeks...didn't bring much money..or clothes for that matter. But well i have nice relatives around these parts...so we'll see what happens. toodles.

2002-07-03T18:26:00.000-07:00

Material Yearnings OHHHH MAN. i totally raped the mall. haha well not really. not only did i practically steal from them, i also ate at Texas cattle... I only spent 175 dollars total...ER i mean my mom did. first we bought my blue suede jacket for fifty smakeroos. then i bought 3 pairs of zana-di pants..all size 1 mind you, for 12 dollars each. And a large array of sweaters and short and long sleeved shirts...i mean 7 articles...a silver jacket and a grey duster. for all under 100...yeah that was damn good. I rock. now i crave for shoes.

97th ENTRY !!!!!!

strangers in the night ohhh man. it's been a long time since strangers have IMed me. I wonder why people are starting to take intrerest. two strangers came outta nowhere..the first was innocent, thinking i was a proffessional programmer. Go fig. The second. HAHAHAHAHA i'll let you see for yourself.

Fkinggrady: how you doing
YeLLoDuCKiE1: doin' alright.
Fkinggrady: so do you know were any parties are in davis this weekend
YeLLoDuCKiE1: lol... I'm not moved to Davis yet.
YeLLoDuCKiE1: still in So. cal.
Fkinggrady: a/s/l
YeLLoDuCKiE1: I'm 18 aged female.
Fkinggrady: thats cool
YeLLoDuCKiE1: i guesso.
Fkinggrady: 20/m/san fran
Fkinggrady: you got a pic to trade
YeLLoDuCKiE1: uhm...not really.
Fkinggrady: and why not ill send mine first
YeLLoDuCKiE1: i'm not really into 'tradin pics'
Fkinggrady: oh ic
Fkinggrady: thats cool i just like to now what people look like when i talk to them

OMG, its been a long time since someone has said "a/s/l" to me. lol. ITS SO IMPERSONAL AND BUGGS THE FREAKING SHIT OUTTA ME. It sends the wrong message to people yanno? Like "oh i'm only gonna talk to 16 year old females...because 18 year olds have nothing to say" or, "ooh i'll only talk to 18 year olds..let's CYBER". eh...PLEASE. Show some human dignity. Like hell he just wanted to see who he was talking to. What it to him if i know where some parties are...he asked for my picture..so he can have a "date" oh HELL no. By refusing to "trade pics", i gain control of the game. ya dumbass ! i have a web site and journal with my pictures plastered all over them. I think he was lookin for someone to slip a roofie and rape.

Memories to keep you alive Yul and his family plan to send Gene a letter every day. I scanned graduation pictures of us to yul and he's gonna send them off to Genie. I wonder if he got my pathetic voicemail message. started work on the ducktionary...added a soon to be imagemap ...for now its only an image haha i'm riding a duck ! now i need the rubber duckie song for midi or wma.

2002-07-02T01:09:00.000-07:00

happiness no description could reach meh another night of web paging...hit and missed the rollover script for 3 hours...meh i'll get it by morning ! i swear !
NeoSpiderGold: nice site jen..
NeoSpiderGold: a lil freakky..
NeoSpiderGold: but nice.
YeLLoDuCKiE1: freaky?
NeoSpiderGold: lol..i dunno.
NeoSpiderGold: you look different in each picture.
NeoSpiderGold: that's the freaky part.
YeLLoDuCKiE1: lol

I woke myself up at 10...reheated that chili, yet again. Chandi and Rach called and came over..i took a shower...we galevanted. Yanno since Chandi's leavin for India tomorrow...we decided to go spend money. Chandi with her gift certificates, Rach with her checkbook/card and me with the cash. We rampaged the mall...buying boots for 10 dollas and putting leather jackets on layaway at Wilsons. Called up chrissy, he brought scottie and we rampaged the Blue koi. Then we saw danny and meg in the parking lot, he bought a TV ;x Anyhoo, we rampaged best buy, then barnes and noble. GRAY'S ANATOMY FOR ONLY 13 DOLLAZ ! well i bought mansfield park, like i've been meaning to. we went home...called up amit. damit amit. Watched the horrible movie, Unbreakable. They all left. I went up stairs....scanned pics for rachel...started a yahoo group ! if ya ever wanna e-mail me, rachel or chandi or chris... mail the group at waddlers@yahoogroups.com . Only if ya wanna address all 4 of us. Waddle in place, thither, hither or away. Its all the same. hahaha. And now, i think i'll start working on the site again.

Asian awakening HAHA in my search for pre-uploaded wma or mp3s to steal from people on Asian avenue, i stumbled upon a HILARIOUS page...the guy's handle is AA_Stereotypes..a block of sites dedicated to giving stereotypical asians a rude awakening by painfully pointing them out and ridiculing them...hahahahahaha the parenthesis are things i had to add..
FILIPINOS - flips or buk buks [yeah..buk buk means to SPANK]

You believe that you`re the "blacks of the Asian race" and for some reason you`re proud of that. [yeah w00t. lol.]

If you`re male, you have either a shaved head, thin mustache, or both. [my brother ALWAYS has a mustache. i swear we're blood related to Amit]

If you`re female, not only are you sexually promiscuous, but if someone just brushes up against you, you`ll get pregnant. [yes, filipinos are horribly fertile...well i've no proof myself yet.]

You think it`s "cool" to be or act ghetto. [dayum right foo. JH2K foo.]

You eat underdeveloped duck embryos. [WELL. i refuse to eat Balut. ITs nasty up the wazoo]

You`re referred to as "dirty" or unhygenically clean because of your darker skin color. [i've never been called this one.]

Your parents get their F`s and P`s confused. (They unPortunately do.) [i porgot my pucking duck. hahaha]

You have the same last name as a Mexican friend of yours. [ehem.."of the meadow? and my dad's name is Jose.]

You are Catholic. [yes damn straight...hail mary..full of..]

In the Philippines, Filipinos eat dogs. [ i think that was recently outlawed...you're only allowed to eat it if its previously dead..like if someone.."hit" it on the road...you may scrap and voila, din din.]

You are often mistaken for being Hispanic. [ yeah...that's true.]

Click here to see if you`re a "Stereotypical Asian" yourself!

What Kind of AsianAvenue Member are you?

Back to web page hoopla. yah dde dahh. still haven't figgered out that rollover script. i was considering ..making it an imagemap and saying the hell with it..but instead..i made the intro all kool. Downloaded imagemapic from download.com...and that comesi n handy..made my intro into a handy imagemap. tah ! yeah and i added music. this week: Dance version of No doubt's Don't speak. It's midi..so it'll be extremely craptacular on your computer if you have an ~~old~~ decrepid sound card. STILL trying those damn rollovers...gahhhh. made a new main picture.. Had this ear thing plugged into my ear for the last 4 hours...ouch. my ear hole's too small for these. RE-vamped a million my asianavenue page. Meh. i think i'm gonna crash now..its 2. My mom's not home yet..that's kinda weird. HOW AM I GONNA GET MY LEATHER JACKET LATER???

2002-07-01T12:20:00.000-07:00

keep the desi-roots alive.. haha...today was chandi's dance thing. That was so great, despite myfamily being 45 minutes late. Went to church at noon, then mom decided to go to the mall because we had another grandmother here.Anyway..i stood and watched the last dancebefore the intermission. IT was so freaking good. Chandi and sonya were freaking awesome. I sat with amit, rachel, chris, hannah , candy and patrick. we had weird indian cuisine. i liked the tortilla thing and the mango juice. tee hee. can't take mango juice away from a filipino. after the rest of the program...chandi and sonya gave "shout outs"..."What up playa !" haha..we chilled downstairs...met michael. he's a kool guy. love the hair. henry and gaurav didn't go. we all piled into cars and followed each other to Sonya's..she lives around 25th...hahaha. i sati n lisa's car..i cut my foot on the chair. candy had a headache and left the car because lisa was blasting eminem. haha...now dis looks like a job for me.. that was hilarious. she's definitely stanford material. we got to sonya's...sheesh what a nice house. their garage is a dance studio/gym. crazy..and a big screen in there too. we danced old routines, muched on pizza...banghra. patrick took me and mark to vons to get ice cream...then we went home. coke and ice cream. haha. fell asleep after i hung up the phone again.

don't playa hate haha..well i woke up to a phone call this morning morning SUNSHINE !!! [you are my sunshine..my only sunshine..] SHUT UP YUL hahaha.. ok...well i went back to sleep and woke back up around noon...reheated some chili, baked some rolls...ate it. yum..and now i sit here. ANOTHER MESS OF QUIZZES ! hahahaha...here are all the possible ones that i was ...the first one's the real one though:
i think i'll stop taking quizes now...i just downloaded more fonts..gonna work on the web site a bunch !

MY 95TH ENTRY !!!!!! coming close to 100 !!! wowee wow wow wow !!

Life but seems a quick sucession of busy nothings In the lovely words of Fannie Price from Jane Austen's Mansfield Park . Such a great book with many many great quotes. "You have to harden yourself to the idea of being....of being worth looking at." -Edmund Bertram. I should really go to barnes and noble to get it. I fall in love with the movie everytime i see it. I think i'm gonna minor in computer programming. I really like making sites...

2002-06-29T10:29:00.000-07:00

didn't cry, until i said goodbye.
Zeeman79: thats funny that Gene's name is still on
YeLLoDuCKiE1: yeah...
YeLLoDuCKiE1: i'm gonna miss that guy.
Zeeman79: yeah
Zeeman79: me too

this is the worst aim away message:
Gene left this morning at 7:06 A.M. To LAX International Airport. he will arrive on the East Coast at around 3:30 PST. If Anybody would like his personal secretary to forward anything to him, please leave that message here.

thank you

Yul

oh man. yeah i left the most horrible voicemail on gene's phone last night. I was all nonchalant when i was dialing...yanno something to do before the night was over, to kill time yanno. And i said "i'm gonna miss my opah..you're gonna be ok...i just called to say goodbye" When the "g" word came out..my voice started shaking. And well..i started crying in the middle of the voicemail. Yeah that voicemail was horrendously long. EW!~ Me of all people. well anyway...he was like a brother to me. He protected me and knew me probably more than others. Despite the lack of communication, he STILL knew what was going on in my liddle head. I've known him..consecutively..for 5 years. He had such a sense of style. He was the funniest looking ska-punk pole vaulter anyone had ever seen. So much talent. That guy showed me a lot of things...[besides his ass]...that there's no fear in expressing yourself...and no harm in being wrong either. I've helped and have been helped by this guy. He's a true friend and I really hope he keeps in touch. Or or...or...i'll...cry some more.

aching of the stomach Yikes i ate a ton today. I had hummus from Vons for breakfast. Lunch at the Hospital company picnic. Yeahm then food at that Jazz band gig. First...went to vons...ate the food at bryan's went to thousand trails in Acton..walked around..lucia's mom picked me out..swam with chris...held lucy's puppy ! Then grabbed a ton of food then drove to the Jazz band gig...got naked in the backseat to change into appropriate attire...watched them play..ate some grilled chicken. Came home..one of the many grandmas was here..i'm really tired and my stomach hurts. I think i hurt my leg..but i'll sleep it off. time to brush my teeth and sleep off the stomach ache.

2002-06-28T00:32:00.000-07:00

knocking back...not the door yah dee dahh..another boring day down the tubules. calamansi + corona = A-OK. yahhh dee dah...made chandi's mixes..pretty good, burning some copies for myself. No one called my cell today.

Xl nite lx: yeah, but your more threatening to look at
YeLLoDuCKiE1: lol...thanks.
Xl nite lx: i mean your farkin jen and you rarely match
YeLLoDuCKiE1: awww thanks ameet.

whoa, i'm pretty buzzed..my head's all heavy...hahaha.. and i can still type, i'm loving this. i just tried closing my eyes...then trying to touch my nose, like in sobriety tests..lol whoa, i touched my forehead. then i touched my nose al lthe other times. that's so SAD. I need to find people to go with me on saturday. so some happy trails thing with my mom for the hospital.

THCJohnnyBLaZe: my profile sucks
yeLLoduckie1: no no no, profiles aren't meant to be judged.
yeLLoduckie1: doesn't matter ;-)
THCJohnnyBLaZe: mine is
yeLLoduckie1: think of it as a gift, its not the wrapping, its what's inside that makes ya happy.
yeLLoduckie1: whoa, i should work for hallmark.
THCJohnnyBLaZe: yes
THCJohnnyBLaZe: and the fortune cookie company
yeLLoduckie1: geez, i'd be all rich
THCJohnnyBLaZe: You will Die Of Flying Penguin. Lucky Numbers: 3,6,5,3,3
yeLLoduckie1: lol !!! i would so put that !
THCJohnnyBLaZe: hows my profiel
yeLLoduckie1: its kool...no worries. the japanese makes it awesome in my head.
yeLLoduckie1: for all i know you could be saying "screw you"
THCJohnnyBLaZe: LOL
THCJohnnyBLaZe: hehe
THCJohnnyBLaZe: its says good stuff
yeLLoduckie1: i'm assuming so, you're a good person
THCJohnnyBLaZe: i guess

Anyway, the day is here and not so new. Another boring day at home. I was supposed to go change my coins into cash..but..well that didn't work i guess. I watched un monton of movies. The truth about cats and dogs...the gods must have been crazy..little women. Its now 4 o clock and no call from anyone. little women looked promising in the first two hours...but in the last 10 minutes..it pissed me off. WHY AMY?? anyway. i still like mansfield park much better...i think i'll read that one. meh anyway...phone call...i'll be back soon

I've decided, that i'm a
~~FREAKIN~~ fucking mess !!!!
yeah, pretty much. tell ya about it later...i dunno what's going on. i'm falling to pieces. and i'm not so sure that's a bad thing or a good thing.

strike that!! TOTALLY STRIKE THAT. Oh man. Its definitely the little things that saves people. I thought i was going crazy, but yanno someone just SAVED me. read on sistas and brothas...
At first though, I was confused. I didn't know where I was or what link I had clicked, but I figured it out. Anywho, I ended up reading some of your online diary. It was really interesting. You made me realize two things. One, I missed out on a lot in high school. And two, everyone has more sides to them than they're willing to show.
What I am trying to say is that reading your diary helped me realize that high school really wasn't that bad
I have the chance to make college way better though. When I'm successful and famous, you should know that a part of it is becuz I learned to take advantage of every single day from reading your diary.
This is all becuz I felt like it was unfair that I got to read about the real Jenn and you don't know crap about me. LOL. Ain't it crazy?

let me just say now...that PLEASE tell me if you read my journal ! it makes me feel nice. Things like that...[above]...just make a person's night and can truly save lives. thank you. i love you. i really do. THAT is what friends are for.

2002-06-27T00:06:00.000-07:00

POP goes the jenn dude, these quizes are addicting. i've been workin on my site again...yah dee dah. waiting for the night to eat me alive.
OMG do you know how much that fuckin rocks?? dude!!!!!!!!! that fucking ROCKS. i used to watch daria all the FREAKIN time. Until she got all girly, then i got all pissed off at the cartoon and stopped watching, TOM was bullshit i tell you, tom didn't belong in the show. MTV was getting lazy i tell ya ~!!!!

Take the What Should Your New Year's Resolution Be? Quiz

i like how this quiz thinks i don't get any...well actually. that's true, i don't get any. MEH. oh well take another quiz to ease the pain. hahahaha. can't find one. meh ! so i'll talk to people.

x Means To Be x: i got an interview =)
x Means To Be x: that's a start
yeLLoduckie1: for where?
x Means To Be x: Panda Express
yeLLoduckie1: hahaha that fucking rocks.
x Means To Be x: heck yeah
x Means To Be x: i ohpe i get thet job
yeLLoduckie1: and you'll have to yell at everyone that comes in "NO i'm not chinese, here or to go??"
x Means To Be x: lol
yeLLoduckie1: its true..people will give you shit about it ! cuz people are dumb as fuck.
x Means To Be x: lol
yeLLoduckie1: oh hello nice to meet you, you're talking to angsty insomniac Jenn.
x Means To Be x: lol
x Means To Be x: go to bed!
x Means To Be x: it's late
yeLLoduckie1: NO. I refuse.
x Means To Be x: fo why?
yeLLoduckie1: because you just told me to.
x Means To Be x: lol
x Means To Be x: ok
yeLLoduckie1: whoa...is that you in the icon?
x Means To Be x: yesum
yeLLoduckie1: score for reagan, who's the chick?
x Means To Be x: hahaha
x Means To Be x: it's not what you think
yeLLoduckie1: ohhh ok, you're still not answering my question
x Means To Be x: crystal
yeLLoduckie1: ya use photoshop?
x Means To Be x: of course
yeLLoduckie1: hum..looks like you used the photocopy filter and adjusted the hue.
x Means To Be x: ooo, close
x Means To Be x: adjusted teh threshold
x Means To Be x: and used a sketch filter
yeLLoduckie1: yikes. its too small for me to really tell.
x Means To Be x: yeah
yeLLoduckie1: but nice work.
x Means To Be x: the orignal photo was like 1270 x 970
x Means To Be x: or something really big
yeLLoduckie1: dang.
x Means To Be x: i think i'm gonna upload some pics to my live journal
yeLLoduckie1: well throwing it through a filter helps keep the resolution...meh anyway...
yeLLoduckie1: too much technicalities..
x Means To Be x: lol
yeLLoduckie1: yeah i'm all wired. i was building a web site earlier...then i got stuck.
x Means To Be x: xml or html?
yeLLoduckie1: just plain html
x Means To Be x: sweet
yeLLoduckie1: working my magic with Fireworks 4 and photoshop.
x Means To Be x: sweet
x Means To Be x: i want to learn xml
x Means To Be x: it's so cool
yeLLoduckie1: I'm working my way up.
x Means To Be x: html is all hard
yeLLoduckie1: nah, if you look at it for 7 years like me, its not THAT hard.
x Means To Be x: lol
x Means To Be x: memorize color codes?
yeLLoduckie1: oh hell no
yeLLoduckie1: just the tags
x Means To Be x: you should memorize every single one of them
yeLLoduckie1: i know all the div and table tags too.
yeLLoduckie1: DUDE, i'm not THAT bored.
x Means To Be x: hahaha
yeLLoduckie1: ohhh man..I need another hobby
x Means To Be x: ummm
x Means To Be x: take up miniture golf
x Means To Be x: or something
yeLLoduckie1: that entails me getting myself to a miniature golf place.
yeLLoduckie1: can't do, me no drive.
x Means To Be x: lol
x Means To Be x: take up solitare
x Means To Be x: i have
x Means To Be x: it's quite fun
yeLLoduckie1: dude, i get all pissed off at games.
yeLLoduckie1: like i downloaded Pong for my palm pilot.
x Means To Be x: lol
yeLLoduckie1: and my FREAKIN palm doesn't have side to side arrows.
yeLLoduckie1: that'll drive someone to suicide or something i swear
x Means To Be x: lol

tah dee do wop, i feel all weird. i need another hobby, i need to get out. SOMEONE TAKE ME OUT lol..ok, anyway...

Chicano Punker: SEEEEEEEEX
yeLLoduckie1: for me?
Chicano Punker: Sure baby.
Chicano Punker: get on
yeLLoduckie1: yay !
Chicano Punker: Yeah.
Chicano Punker: I think youll enjoy the fact that I have two penis'
yeLLoduckie1: penii?
yeLLoduckie1: lol
Chicano Punker: *sigh*
Chicano Punker: Oh the burden of a pair of penii.
Chicano Punker: 1 testicle...
Chicano Punker: 2 penises.
Chicano Punker: I always wondered why people said "balls"
Chicano Punker: i was like "THERES ONLY ONE!"
yeLLoduckie1: lol

stop the presses! chrispyfer just called...meh..he used all his minutes already...what a dork...
Meh Mark woke me up YET AGAIN...with the slamming of my door. Went out to lunch at Barone's again. I swear i'm gonna try EVERYTHING on that menu. Went to the mall..bought a foot scrubber at the beauty place, they gave me a gift bag fulla stuff ! DUDE. that was awesome. But they gave me conditioner without the shampoo...came home, got yelled at. Waiting for Chandi to come over so we can be DJs..

2002-06-26T16:16:00.000-07:00

Another normal day: boring as hell can make it talked to john on AIM...had an icon dispute. lookin forward to August.

discover what candy you are @ stvlive.com

dude visit stvlive.com, that stephanie is GREAT fun. I wanna be like her. pfft i need a b.a. in studio art. Meh, too bad i like bio too much. we'll see if sharpen my codings skills till then. check out what i can do now though >>>>>KLICK! so VERY under construction.

BLUE

You give your love and friendship unconditionaly. You enjoy long, thoughful conversations rich in philosophy and spirituality. You are very loyal and intuitive.

Find out your color at Stvlive.com!

yikles...i bashed my foot into some wood earlier and its kinda raw...yikles. i love it when inspiration strikes !!!!! coming soon, a ducktionary. lah dee dah. taking quizes up the WAZOOOO. nibbleteeflip. don't forget to visit mine

Which glamour goddess are you? By kjfishie

BTW...i've been writing in here for almost over a year now...this is the 90th entry. crazy. i feel all old. wonder if this'll be around next year. i always loved a challenge.

k well its been about 5 hours and what have i done? i chomped chocolate cake and milk...with the lactaid of course. i still feel the bubly bubble of my stomach acids reacting to the milk..i actually did start another page and did take another quiz...

2002-06-26T13:27:00.000-07:00

Wake up to the slamming of the door. yeah, i had a very rude awakening today. Mark slammed my door shut. When i pulled myself outta bed to brush my teeth and break in the new day, i smelled fire. Meh someone was burning grass in the field next to our neighborhood. Ma invited Marilyn over to cook flip food. mum made awesome iced tea. Anyway. I'm freakin tired. the last two days were a TRIP. Well back on what day was it...what day is it today....meh, on monday...i woke up late like at 2. Ate some food and told teresina to pick me up so i can sleep over at kelso's too. Yeah she came at like 7. We brought tons of left over soda to the house. froze them. ate apizza, watched sexi n the city and sphere, but i'm a cheerleader, and devil in the flesh...talked shit about people and slept next to each other fearing that jamie would knee rape one of us. beware of nerd jamie. well i'm nerd jenn all the time. john called at like..10. talked to him for a short time..he's learning japanese, tony and bryan caleld too. All of those nerds looked at me and smiled when i came back in to the room and resumed watching sphere. finally getting pissed off at each other telling each other to shut the fuck up so we can wake up on time for the party tomorrow we fell asleep at like 5 or 6.. one of those. I kept waking up at like 7 , 9 and 10...ma called me to pick up mark..then i called her back realizing that i can't drive....i took a shower first...we didn't get out the house until like 12..when the party started. went to spencers to get genie a gift. got him the best card. i wanted a lighter. got him a key chain Cleavage inspector diana and jamie gave gene a SPECIAL gift..uhm hahahahaha lesbian much. we got to the party relatively early...not many people were there. there was lots of food..swimming, pool..counterstrike. chrispyfer got a cell now. I said my bye bye to my opah. i know hell be alright. he's a good guy. He's gonna take over the world i think... then i went to the movies with tony, john and lizz. Minority report was suprisingly REALLY good. the gaybros showed up with jared, adam and troy and garett, max, john p, and diana. afterward, i said bye bye..then we went for ice cream. Then i plopped onto my bed and called bryan..we talked for hours. he's takin history over the summer...he'll be finished by august, then we're gonna go to the beach cuz i never been..i gotta get outta here. its buggin me. then i fell asleep...woke up to the slamming of my door.

Ignored again yeah i was just outside moving a table under the shade and i heard the new celine dion song on the radio. the bass line sounded just like Blondie's heart of glass. I told my mom, she didn't really care.

Take the 100 Acre Personality Quiz!

2002-06-24T13:07:00.000-07:00

Night of Swatting Moths uhm...yeah, i went to Adam's BBQ yesterday. The Flip moochers were there : Ken, brand, garett, Jared. hahaha..yeah we had middle eastern food. it was kool up until adam told us how to eat it you take the cow shit and dip it in the cow vomit... yikes. anyway...like after we ate, me and aine decided to go to a movie, Lilo and stitch...it was already 9. We ran to my house...asked my parents...checked the times... 7:15...8:20..9:30. 9:30 ! we ran to aine's house picked some stuff up and jumped in the car..bought some nerd ropes and watched that wonderful movie. during the previews i thought danny called me, but it was john because he said something about charging his phone. After i hung up..i was like "Uhm..danny doesn't have a phone". Anyway, i called him back after the movie on the way home..but he wasn't pickin up. so when i got home i called his house..i hate his answering machine. He called my cell as i was checkin my e-mail. MTV.com keeps rejecting my e-mail..so SCREW THEM. Meh, i hung up at like 3...slept at like 4. woke up at noon...mark started history of the america's with Gibbs. dude, he has it SO easy. lucky bastard.

2002-06-23T14:38:00.000-07:00

Cats are MEAN yeah, the party...from what i heard it was a success. was i there? sorta. i just like walked around the whole time, not thoroghly knowing exactly was happening in each little group that formed within the large group. i didn't realize how many people actually came to my party. I'm kinda blown away by that. my legs hurt pretty bad i probably sat down about like 3 times. around my house from 8 am to 3 am the next day. nice. It was a relatively clean party. that was good. I have really great friends. Tony and John came over really early to help me set up the music...the music that mark told me to turn off because it annoyed him. Nicole thinks i should get a DJ name. I'm open to any suggestions. Yah dee dah. The food came..the cakes were cut...the kareoke busted. i dunno what happened with that...but seeing Scottie and candie bust i will survive would make anyone's day..gotta love that back up dancing. Half the party left in the beginning because Kelsey was working and they wanted to visit her. Court brought me chocolate ice cream that melted and got all over amanda's car. i didn't really eat the whole time, i think i nibbled and drank like 2 sodas the whole time. kinda thirsty right now. my orange one sleeve again because the green shirt didn't work out. the music was blaring, some people danced...grandma sang inside. yul and kristine thought my family was awesome. they're so great. Gene..oh my god. when i hear the Jimmy Eat world song, i will never think the same again. No more X-rated stuff ok ??!!! geez. Jehu slapped my ass. John didn't beat him up for me. I slapped Jehu and bryan. Bryan's idea.Poor bernie was hurt and its his b-day today. I got Anna pretty damn good. She didn't even see it coming. need to take her to Takeo's. Tiffany was getting bored..kept asking me when things were going to start. the relatives crammed into the guest room to play Mahjong. Lot's of food left.betchai came in with brandon and other guy. po ame late, right from work at best buy. jennyhoo and that posse came, jehu brought his uncle. garett finally arrived with the gay bros and jared. Adam came late from work at the drug store. kelso came too late from work at the ice cream place. Megan came late from a pageant obligation thing. robert came late too and left like 10 minutes later...he made yul give me his gift..kinda didn't say much the whole time. what are you trying to say to me? i really don't get it. kristine and yul left and came back a few times. gene left and came back. Chris, rachel, raci and chrystal left to go to a wedding reception for chris' aunt. they came back after everyone had gone. we passed tony's cell phone around, talking and saying hi to Jason. nick looked all spiffy and clean..until he jumped in the pool. Zellmer threw ajay in the pool. various people tried to throw me in...gah. scottie, chandi and amit chilled int he spa...chris enjoyed his life jacket. most people just chilled outside.. itwas nice, a little breezy..but nice. teresina's brother got pushed in. lizzie tried doing cartwheels between uhm her dancing. the azns broke out nsuck and danced. AGAIN. i sat with john watching. paterick and zach were all dressed nice..they played at a wedding. ajay handed me a wet 20. Kat gave me a kool bag. virgin game me the cutest little DUCK. Aine made a really great card and gave a ton of stuff. Erl gave me tommy shirts. lizzie gave me a mug. tony gave me a leather cover for my cell phone. betchai gave me bath stuff. got money from relatives...Gene got jealous and wanted presents so he's throwing a lunch party. kelso's got a thing on monday. chandi's thing is on sunday. rachel and raci goin to santa barbara this week. prolly gonna chill with chris later.

i have great friends. they ate a lot of food. they enjoyed themselves. they kept the party clean. they kept it fun. they respected my family. they respected each other, even if i know they hate each other. they hugged me. they told me i was a great hostess. they helped me clean up and clear the yard for the paramedics. they held my tears back when i saw the flashing lights. they told me it was gonna be ok. they told me to stop worrying. they understood and asked me if my parents wanted them to leave. they gave me gifts. they laughed with, at and for me ...they showed me what REAL friends are.

after i told rachel and chris about the incident...we sat and chilled on the couch till like 3 in the morning, waiting for an update from my mom. we read from the X-rated book of filth that chris bought me and ate dirty fortune cookies. dude homw come they get the clean fortunes and i got the one that makes me sound like a lesbian? WTF?! "Cats are mean, but a little p**** never hurt anyone " ew much. Brandon was alright. i called him like 10 minutes ago...he answered the phone and was A-OK...he's coming to adam's bbq later. i think i might make an appearance. tony and john didn't wanna see a movie today. we'll see one later this week before john leaves for Vegas. what a day. so many things. a lot of summer left. nya. this is only the 2nd week....

2002-06-22T09:35:00.000-07:00

Exploiting My fears... Well i just got this e-mail today from Rachel...i dunno if this is such a good idea. She e-mailed MTV, because they're doing a show about Phobias soon and well she told them all about my fears. Strange they are...but hey, its a big world and hey people are afraid of open space, why not balloons and driving? But anyway i don't feel too comfy about MTV talking about me, I'm not too good with criticism either. Maybe...if they didn't reveal my face..or anything. But i know they're gonna want evidence...so they're most likely gonna attack me with the devil latex and tape my reaction. I'm not too keen with that idea. well anyway, here's the e-mail :

i wrote to mtv about your phobia. they are doing a show about phobias. you
might want to contact them they sound interested!!
----- Original Message -----
From: "MTVi, Phobia"
Sent: Thursday, May 23, 2002 8:41 AM
Subject: RE: my best friend jen

>
> Hello Rachel....We would like to hear more about your friend, jen, and her
fear of balloons. Will you ask her when and where we can call her as soon
as possible. Thanks!
>
> -----Original Message-----
> Sent: Wed 5/22/2002 3:55 AM
> To: MTVi, Phobia
> Cc:
> Subject: my best friend jen
>
>
> For as long as I have known her, my best friend Jennifer has had a fear of
balloons. the sight of a balloon makes her heart begin to race. each of our
careless male friends has misconstrued this fear as a simple annoyance and
they have actually popped balloons next to her head even though i tell them
repeatedly that it is not a joke. however, once they see the consequences
they never do it again. she breaks down and cries, begins to shake, and
starts panting. it's a physical response and it takes her a good hour to
calm down to a normal breathing pattern. it has gotten to the point where
she cannot be in the same room with any balloons. if i see a balloon in her
path, i normally approach the balloon-carrier and ask them to store the
balloons some place else. jen could barely stand on the field for her
homecoming crowning ceremony because we had a balloon canopy. I'm not sure
why she has this phobia or why her body responds so outlandishly. actually,
if there are any specialist that could offer some insight, i would be most
grateful
> sincerely
> rachel

Well i dunno whether to be mad or...happy that i'm getting help..i'm not too sure. Because..my own PARENTs...don't know about this. She's the only one. Well other friends are witness to it...but well. my own parents don't know about this and i'm not too sure i want to share this with them, let alone the whole cable watching community. Well i've probably just shared with with a billion internet people...but i'm..well.. i dunno.

2002-06-21T01:26:00.000-07:00

I think i swallowed a seed. haha.this is what i live for. its that point of the night..where when i do nothing, hands start to shake. warm coronas suck..so i stuck a whole lemon in the 5th bottle and stuck it in the freezer. watched Crime and punishment in Suburbia hey, that movie was semi-decent. by the first five minutes..i thought it was gonna be all pornographic..but it turned out to be..euphoric. i was just like..i don't have that spirit. i wish i did. then again. the main character is in search of her heart and she doesn't know it. i dunno..do I wanna find mine? at times, YES. at times..hell no. john didn't call today. dammit..left my phone downstairs. don't wanna go down a long dark flight of stairs right now...then again..i'm typing coherently..i think. i can handle it.pah..i would barely pass a sobriety test right now. who do i want? no one. i don't need anyone.yeah i don't need shit. time passes so slowly. i need to figger myself out before i drive myself crazy. downloading some thrice while i calm down and let the magic work its way through my small body. i gotta pee now.

yanno nicole made me feel all nice earlier. she actually read my shit. It makes a person feel great to be appreciated for something they like doing. That kinda thing would keep a crazy person like me from committing suicide or something like that. I love you nicole. She was feeling all crappy, then read my stuff then felt better. I like this. Thank you. I talked to genie too about problems. i concluded that males and females SUCK and we all just need to be loners..so that no one has ANY problems. Then. World peace should occur shortly after. duh ~!!!

2002-06-20T18:42:00.000-07:00

And this hot girl..she's not your average girl haha the only boyband i fell for. O-town. I'm going through all my cds..and i found my old birthday cd from when everyone kidnapped me last year. What a week that was. i remember that and if you've seen our spanish final video this year, you'd understand even more. haha. Well anyway i'm rustlin through here for dance music. Seems entertaining enough. MY voice has come back, finally...been gone almost a whole week. Dang, i could never be a professional singer if i wanted to. I guess i'll stick to writing..." do you really want to hurtttt meeee " hahahaha dang this cd has the best songs on it. Vengaboys..trance remix..hahaha. i can play that on the piano. i was cleaning the house all day..the house cleaning lady never came. meh..oh well. i'm gonna clean my room tonight, if i don't go out or somethin. its 7 and no one's called yet. hum.

strange call steven and john just called. they're so freakin funny, i love those two. steven pretended to be a girl, i still knew it was him. they were saying how they're gonna miss me cuz i don't work at the hospital and i just graduated. they're freakin out cuz they can't come to me party. they're so crazy, i AM gonna miss those two koreans. they thought i was rascist because i wasn't having filipino food at my party..they wanted to bring kimchee and all their korean food. their logic, i don't understand either. but anyway. my phone hasn't been called all day, oh pooie. oh well i guess i'll work on my site again.

byungshin34: r u ever gonna go back to volunteering?
yeLLoduckie1: nahh.. i don't wanna
byungshin34: :'(
byungshin34: p....pp.....ppp.....pppp......pppppplease? could u come back?
yeLLoduckie1: NO ! steven ko ko puffs
byungshin34: argh!
byungshin34: that's not my name!
yeLLoduckie1: KO KO PUFFS
byungshin34: no!
byungshin34: stop it!
yeLLoduckie1: ok
byungshin34: Yay!
yeLLoduckie1: what?
byungshin34: I won the argument!
yeLLoduckie1: no i'm not coming, i just agreed to stop calling you ko ko puffs.
byungshin34: What?!
yeLLoduckie1: Stevie POO
byungshin34: No! how about komeister??

2002-06-19T11:01:00.000-07:00

artficial rememberization that's the title of my new green journal from barnes and noble. Its so fun to write in. in fact i came to barnes and noble again...bought mark a drink with my card. It's anna's birthday, and where else would she be?? barnes and noble. That's like her heaven. anyway i think we're gonna surprise her next week. orrr, i could surprise her with cake this saturday....good idea. went tothe mall bought two party shirts..bright orange and bright green...walked by myself for a while. Went to applebee's for lunch, john called in the middle of it...YEAH SO WHAT IF I HAVE FREE NIGHTS AND WEEKENDS?? gotta problem with that huh john?? haha, anyway i called him back, left messages..went to work at the hospital..it was mega boring. i took some pix off the wall..left a note for the wednesday crew. went cherry pickin with mom..she was acting like she took some vicodin or something, she was all talking about diahhrea and peeing. it was weird. Working on a new site . Meh i might leave it unfinished like the others...nothing new to me.

Xl nite lx: do you know what kind of food you are going to have
Xl nite lx: will it be soft?
YeLLoDuCKiE1: thai food
YeLLoDuCKiE1: why?
YeLLoDuCKiE1: wisdom teeth?
Xl nite lx: i got my wisdoms pulled yesterday
YeLLoDuCKiE1: aieeeeeeee
YeLLoDuCKiE1: i'll make you soft food
Xl nite lx: cool. thanks jen
Xl nite lx: its kinda funny because one cheek is really puffy and the other you can barley tell
YeLLoDuCKiE1: aww...did it hurt like a farkin mofo?
Xl nite lx: after the novacaine wore out yes
Xl nite lx: apparently vicaden doesnt work on me
YeLLoDuCKiE1: yikes

Lando1421: i think mark wanted to go out today
Lando1421: actually wait! i have money
Lando1421: so i dont need mark
YeLLoDuCKiE1: my mom's makin us work at the hospital...
Lando1421: oh how nice
YeLLoDuCKiE1: he doesn't have money now either

I just took a personality test on asianavnue.com.
Results:
Paranoid: Very High
Paranoid personality disorder is characterized by a distrust of others and a constant suspicion that people around you have sinister motives. People with this disorder tend to have excessive trust in their own knowledge and abilities and usually avoid close relationships with others. They search for hidden meanings in everything and read hostile intentions into the actions of others. They are quick to challenge the loyalties of friends and loved ones and often appear cold and distant to others. They usually shift blame to others and tend to carry long grudges.

Schizoid: High
People with schizoid personality disorder avoid relationships and do not show much emotion. They genuinely prefer to be alone and do not secretly wish for popularity. They tend to seek jobs that require little social contact. Their social skills are often weak and they do not show a need for attention or acceptance. They are perceived as humorless and distant and often are termed "loners."

Schizotypal : High
Many believe that schizotypal personality disorder represents mild schizophrenia. The disorder is characterized by odd forms of thinking and perceiving, and individuals with this disorder often seek isolation from others. They sometimes believe to have extra sensory ability or that unrelated events relate to them in some important way. They generally engage in eccentric behavior and have difficulty concentrating for long periods of time. Their speech is often over elaborate and difficult to follow.

Antisocial: High
A common misconception is that antisocial personality disorder refers to people who have poor social skills. The opposite is often the case. Instead, antisocial personality disorder is characterized by a lack of conscience. People with this disorder are prone to criminal behavior, believing that their victims are weak and deserving of being taken advantage of. They tend to lie and steal. Often, they are careless with money and take action without thinking about consequences. They are often agressive and are much more concerned with their own needs than the needs of others.

Borderline: Very High
Borderline personality disorder is characterized by mood instability and poor self-image. People with this disorder are prone to constant mood swings and bouts of anger. Often, they will take their anger out on themselves, causing themselves injury. Suicidal threats and actions are not uncommon. They think in very black and white terms and often form intense, conflict-ridden relationships. They are quick to anger when their expectations are not met.

Histrionic: Very High
People with histrionic personality disorder are constant attention seekers. They need to be the center of attention all the time, often interrupting others in order to dominate the conversation. They use grandiose language to discribe everyday events and seek constant praise. They may dress provacatively or exaggerate illnesses in order to gain attention. They also tend to exaggerate friendships and relationships, believing that everyone loves them. They are often manipulative.

Narcissistic: Very High
Narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by self-centeredness. Like histrionic disorder, people with this disorder seek attention and praise. They exaggerate their achievements, expecting others to recongize them as being superior. They tend to be choosy about picking friends, since they believe that not just anyone is worthy of being their friend. They tend to make good first impressions, yet have difficulty maintaining long-lasting relationships. They are generally uninterested in the feelings of others and may take advantage of them.

Avoidant: High
Avoidant personality disorder is characterized by extreme social anxiety. People with this disorder often feel inadequate, avoid social situations, and seek out jobs with little contact with others. They are fearful of being rejected and worry about embarassing themselves in front of others. They exaggerate the potential difficulties of new situations to rationalize avoiding them. Often, they will create fantasy worlds to substitute for the real one. Unlike schizoid personality disorder, avoidant people yearn for social relations yet feel they are unable to obtain them. They are frequently depressed and have low self-confidence.

Dependent: Moderate
Dependent personality disorder is characterized by a need to be taken care of. People with this disorder tend to cling to people and fear losing them. They may become suicidal when a break-up is imminent. They tend to let others make important decisions for them and often jump from relationship to relationship. They often remain in abusive relationships. They are overly sensitive to disapproval. They often feel helpless and depressed.

Obsessive-Compulsive : High
Obsessive-Compulsive personality disorder is similar to obsessive-compulsive anxiety disorder. People with this disorder are overly focused on orderliness and perfection. Their need to do everything "right" often interferes with their productivity. They tend to get caught up in the details and miss the bigger picture. They set unreasonably high standards for themselves and others, and tend to be very critical of others when they do not live up to these high standards. They avoid working in teams, believing others to be too careless or incompetent. They avoid making decisions because they fear making mistakes and are rarely generous with their time or money. They often have difficulty expressing emotion.

2002-06-18T22:46:00.000-07:00

CalPCelica: ill tell em to grab ur ass lol
YeLLoDuCKiE1: excuse me??!
CalPCelica: dhfashha
CalPCelica: o u mean verbally
CalPCelica: ahha
YeLLoDuCKiE1: lol
CalPCelica: hmm

2002-06-18T21:01:00.000-07:00

not once,not twice...but Thrice is nicesEnd me an angel right noooowwww yeah dude..thrice is kick ass. danny's right. I was flippin channels earlier and caught a snag of the end of Josie and the Pussycats. Oh man...that was the worst stand anyone has taken against conformity. Satirical yes. Too damn popular to be unique though. Sorry. Plus you DO NOT pretend to sing good music. No way, i can't BELIEVE Letters to Cleo let thar Rachel Leigh Cook lip sync to their music. Letters to Cleo has been hidden behind quiky girl movies for wayy too long. Dang i wish their music sucked, otherwise i wouldn't listen to it and want them to be recognized for their genius. YIKES. my burners on both my computers are pissing me off. YAIIIII.
YeLLoDuCKiE1: erf, my voice is still crapped out
PhoenixNkorn: maybe you'll be better by saturday
PhoenixNkorn: you should just not talk until then
YeLLoDuCKiE1: meh, telling jenn not to talk is like telling the niagra to stop falling.

Weh, i had a short dentist appt today at 2. then me and chris went to barones for lunch. Then i did nothing all day. well actually i blended 4 long strings of rave music...i have like 2 hours of straight beats..i sued Acid 2.0 to fade them together..its gonna sound tight on saturday.

2002-06-18T11:24:00.000-07:00

Italian songs make me feel nice oh man...BOY do i need to feel nice right about now. I just got the results from my Subject A exam, yeah i didn't pass. I feel really stupid right now. Now it makes me wonder if i passed my AP or IB tests. I thought that essay was really good. I feel confident when i walked out of there. I wrote more than i usually do, i actually thought about it. FUCK, i was taking 16 IB and AP tests that week, did they really expect me to pass them all? i freakin guess so

hahaha omg, i seriously have this clarvoyant thing. I bought a new journal yesterday at Barnes and noble. danny picked it out for me, it was high up on the shelf, i didn't see it. NEPALESE paper. hahahaha. anyway..danny and meg, picked me up yesterday so i could run errands with them. went to walmart, developed film ..pics of my ass. thank you very much danny o. we went to best buy...looked for tony...for a good phone deal. But weh, he was on lunch break. went to barnes and noble...that's where i got my new journal..we went to eat to kill time...picked up my pics...visited tony, i bought earphones and a cd folder. went to my house and chilled for a bit. Meg was all dead on the couch, they really like my couches. Tony and chris came over and sat fora little bit...we went to the mall again, bought me a wallet...then went to tony's to wait for John to come over. Chris had to go to AVC, so tony took him and i waited at the house with tony's parents..they're so NICE. Dude..then john came...talking to tony on his cell. that was funny.. we chilled in tony's room..EWW john's dirty ~~minded~~, he didn't bring any clothes to sleep in. THAT's DIRTY !!!! ewwww..we drove to the movies to watch murder by numbers.. yeah john didn't bring his ID..but we somehow all watched the movie. I SWEAR those guys in the movie were GAY ...and i don't get why the movie was called murder by numbers !!!!!! someone please explain it to me. I spent the night talkin to tony and john on our new cell phones. free nights and weekends BABY. call me up later if you got my number, i swear ! let's do something.

NeoSpiderGold: lol...my mom's so funny.
YeLLoDuCKiE1: what?
NeoSpiderGold: she just walked in and said.."where have you been? it looks like you just went somewhere.."
NeoSpiderGold: and i'm in my PJs.
YeLLoDuCKiE1: lol
NeoSpiderGold: well she knows i go places in my PJs.
YeLLoDuCKiE1: HAHAHAHAH

there goes my sister trying to cheer me up again, thanks for that and plus during the senior slide show. Thanks. aiyahh, my voice is still dead from kareoke.

2002-06-17T01:02:00.000-07:00

Coffeee makes me throw up Not really. But watching other people fall in love does.reminds me of son of sam i never saw it...hahaha oh man, john leguizamo was in that. oh man i'm rediscovering ravelinks.com. mega awesome rave radio. I'm so lovin' dj daddy's super re-mixing. i think i'll burn it for my party.lemme see if i can figger this out. hahaha ..anyhoo. i can't sleep yet again and i have nothing to do...i sit here with my new laptop reading things i shouldn't be reading...things like that make people think and i'm not a great thinker, i think wrong things..but maybe this time i might be right. I've gotten used to not having my long nails and i type faster than ever, i just gotta get used to this touch pad thing...weh i keep hitting it and makin mistakes...blarggggg. Anyhoo. i decided to make my own senior slide show and debut it next saturday, so that my friends have something to remember me by, because of damn geocities and...well..they just suck, my site was a complete bomb....even if no one had time to react to it...it sucks. trust me. pisses me off. i hate geocities so i'm gonna make my own senior slide show. DAMMIT hahaha. yanno your fly is undone. what? you don't have a fly...oh wait ...mine's undone. just kidding, just being delirious again.

2002-06-16T22:43:00.000-07:00

matters of the pancreas

Alwaze 03: is he coming over on sat?
YeLLoDuCKiE1: yeah.. dude...my mom loves him...he's comin early to cook
YeLLoDuCKiE1: my mom is like the hardest obstacle for boys.
Alwaze 03: that freaking rocks!
Alwaze 03: join the club
Alwaze 03: at least you get it
Alwaze 03: grrr
YeLLoDuCKiE1: well wait, this is early, i haven't fucked it up yet.
Alwaze 03: gah,...and you won't, its never your fault
YeLLoDuCKiE1: i dunno if i should do this just yet..haha..

haha omg..the picture, freaking floored i swear. lol....anyway..another thing buggin me...people keep asking why i don't drive. MY mo makes it fuckin worse by saying i'm scared..and people ask why. God i wish i could just erase it or something...i always hear "WHY??? you lazy or something?? " "Why are you scared?? you're 18, you can go get it right now" crikey. ok ok !!! I AM SCARED ok, I"M FUCKING SCARED SHITLESS OUTTA MY FUCKING PANTS you happy now? FUCK.. i didn't wanna admit it, but i guess i'm gonna have to.ok, it was a long time ago, but that car accident has really scarred me. everytime someone talks about it..i get even more freaked out. dude i know it was no one's fault, i don't blame anyone...ya hear, i don't blame ANYONE. it coulda happened to anyone... Alright you happy now?! jesus crispy. and everytime i see each person that was in the wreck, i get all nervous and scared. god damn. it fucking sucks to be reminded of it everytime you see or talk to certain people, people you see everyday, best friends too...people you LOVE talking to.. GOD IT TEARS ME APART. Its like being stabbed in the leg, and each time i'm reminded..its like dragging the knife up...wounding me even more. since then, things have never been the same....thing were left ambiguous..and my listening has been even more fine tuned making me believe things and i thought a lot for a week...and from then i stopped thinking...cuz i know thinking fucks up everything. it wasn't a big accident on the outside...but inside, i practically died. it was the worst thing that has ever happened to me so far. i hate talking about it, so don't ask. this is the last time that i'll talk about it.Some people came out stronger and smarter...well i didn't.

2002-06-16T21:19:00.000-07:00

wah wah wah, shut up and stop crying. oh man, some people just swim in hypocrisy. i shake my head and laugh...then i move on. weh dah doo dee doo. lol...as soon as i think that i have nothing to talk about, my mom goes and fucks it up. hahahaha...she like just lectured me on her "expectations" for the damn summer. she knows that i have absolutely nothing to do and tons of time. So if i don't do my chores, she can take away my laptop, cell and palm pilot away iof i don't comply. What a crock. bah...can't wait to go to college and prove THEM wrong. They think i'm gonna fail, they think i'm gonna piss off my roommate, they think that i can't do anything right, well FUCK you..not like you were the perfect fucking student back in your day, you had it easy, affirmative action and shit. so don't tell me how to live..you don't know SHIT.
moving onnn...
futureplayboy17: hey I got a q, try not to laugh too hard now
YeLLoDuCKiE1: try me.
futureplayboy17: is it ok if I bring my friend bernie to your party
YeLLoDuCKiE1: lol
futureplayboy17: haha
YeLLoDuCKiE1: yeah its fine Nicole.
YeLLoDuCKiE1: the more the merrier
futureplayboy17: haha ok
futureplayboy17: I told him about how you were talking about ddr and he laughed
YeLLoDuCKiE1: of course he would.
futureplayboy17: he said "tell her I hurt my foot and I cant play"

hehe well anyway i have a party soon and i need to find things to do before then...time stops when you're waiting for something.

2002-06-16T13:59:00.000-07:00

i cut my nails off today oh man, yeah my nails were pretty damn long, and i cut them off today and painted them red, and now that i'm typing ,i'm NOT achieving the best accuracy, how strange. haha. well the last three days have been a blur. meh and i'm damn tired from it all. i woke this morning and couldn't comprehend that high school had ended for me and i had a cell, palm pilot, laptop and an ass load of cash.

it really started last tuesday, my grandparents arrived with my uncles. we laughed and ate adobo...then they left for Vegas. School was incredibly slow, especially grad practice. Friday, Ate ann and chase and uncle dan came. Laughed more and ate more. Friday came and that senior slide show sucked tons of balloons and panic attack..., i was in a it a couple of times, but they didn't put my picture in, that kinda pissed me off, picked up the valedictorian medal and traded tixs with people. anyhoo, i got ready...flipped my hair...ate jovs came. I went to the gym, it was windy, my stoles kept hitting me in the face. Took tons of pictures..mrs. parks took one of me and and others..she said "Ok everyone, say SEXXX !!" lol. she's so great i swear. we lined up....sat with rachel, chandi and chris, my sisters, whom i will remember for an eternity...darn. haha. graduation was adequate..oh what i could hear at least. meh, i wasn't compelled to throw my hat in the air really wasn't compelled to cry either, cuz i know these people won't leave my life anyway.

i took more pics afterward...waved to the camera..while we were parading in, i passed right by my clan and they were so loud..especially ate jovs..with the squeaky toy. we went out to takeos after grabbing my diploma from my counselor. it was good eatin. i had some free flaing ice cream...mom and dad argued abotu the dessert for tomorow...we got home, i changed...called chris and waited outside with kendrick and brand.

Got to gene's there was a ton of people there playing ddr , pool, watchin movies and chillin. Anna gave me a damn bruise on my ass. i lounged around ,sucked at ddr, hit a ping pong ball...fell asleep on Jehu. Mrs. Yang woke us all up and served me bacon and eggs. yeehaw. that was really nice. jehu took me home at like 5:30...rachel called my cell right before i stuck my key into my door..she told me a little about grad night...beh, she went to gene's. i came inside and everyone was asleep. i crawled into bed and woke up in the middle of my family party..

that was a lot of greeting cards. tons of food, a large roast pig. a jumpy house, sno cones..the pool...kareoke. Yeah that was fun. bryan brought the prom pics, omg i look like a slut...weh oh well. paterick and bryan dropped by..they had fun. John and jason were here, we like laid in the jumpy house for a long time, and john wouldn't get outta the spa. They gave me 50 dollars and a necklace thingy...good god, me and rachel were hoping it wasn't a lavender PEARL..lol..he gave me a picture i made all my thank you cards....waiting for more things to happen to me.

2002-06-13T13:12:00.000-07:00

Hike up your skirt a little more and show me the world i'm the king of the castle, you're the dirty rascal. yeah, dave matthews. Anyhoo, grad practice went quicker today..i sat with Genie and the band crew. We ate rachel's cookies and my dried mangos. Security gave us free sodas..John stole a six. haha.. Matt Vallerand came up to me today. People from 4 years ago keep poppin up. That's just kool. Hagen's havin a get together at his house. I think i'm gonna go. Johnny's havin a thing at Red robin later too...tomorrow's graduation...i could really care less, let's just get it over with aiight? I wanna be a freshman at Davis now. took a nap for 20 minutes...the was a cleaning lady in my room when i got home. Tony took me home. Before we got into the car, we listened to Zachary play the national anthem, beautiful.
geocities won't load AT ALL. Jesus crispy almighty. haha bbq christ?? oh chandi, dear chandi.

Lando1421: eastern conference is weak
YeLLoDuCKiE1: less black people.
Lando1421: lakers and kings...now that was a final
YeLLoDuCKiE1: lol
Lando1421: yeah i guess

2002-06-12T19:49:00.000-07:00

Jenn Jenn, No she doesn't fuckin like me anymore ! just messin' yeah i like you, whoever you are. Those are just the candid words of Less than Jake. Guess what the name of the song is? Jenn doesn't like me anymore Ingenious. I swear. hahahahaha. i downloaded a mess of songs with my name in it. ERF. "Sum" people are funny. This is like a movie i swear. Loop together a bunch of unrelated events, look at them through the eyes of someone else and see "sumthing" entirely different that appears to be totally related. Yanno, that cracks me up. Let me remind you that i'm fucking ranting . And its simple, if i mean what i say, that means...[gasp] that there's nothing behind it ! What a surprise. I love it. I love it, I LOVE IT. I'm at the peak of a nonchalance stage, where i don't really give a fuck about anything...I'm starting to care a little though, because people are starting assume, again. Not one, but two..maybe even 10. And like clockwork, my world will be sent into another emotional oblivion, JUST CUZ THAT'S MY FATE. This is why i love this. I do, i really fucking do. Dude ya ain't supposed to take every freakin word i say in here literally too. What kinda person would i be huh?

2002-06-12T15:51:00.000-07:00

Sunshine, on my window, Makes me happy Erf. Geocities sucks ass. Ok, well the senior wills came out yesterday, and i was all proud cuz i made this site in place of my senior will and well..it crashed, sorry for not updating, but i've been trying to fix it...

just came back from senior check out. Yeah mine was quick, zach wasn't. Before that we went to burger king with Kat and everyone. Before that was boring grad practice. Got my BLUE cap and gown. Kool..with IB sash and NHS stole.

2002-06-10T23:29:00.000-07:00

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Average@Internet-User.com (41% - 60%)
You seem to have a healthy balance in your life when it comes to the internet and life away from the computer. You know enough to do what you want online without looking like an idiot (most of the time). You even have your own Yahoo club or online journal! But you enjoy seeing your friends and going out to enjoy life away from your computer.

The Are you Addicted to the Internet? Quiz at Stvlive.com!

My nightly piss off : YeLLoDuCKiE1: erf..
Lando1421: fre...
YeLLoDuCKiE1: is that really necessary?
Lando1421: what necassary
YeLLoDuCKiE1: to simply restate what i said...backwards.
Lando1421: oop! i got a call...ill c ya tomorrow
YeLLoDuCKiE1: and no one makes a "fre" sound
Lando1421: have a good night
Lando1421: well i do!
YeLLoDuCKiE1: eh..
Lando1421: now
Lando1421: later
YeLLoDuCKiE1: yeah [lando1421 has signed off]
YeLLoDuCKiE1: late it is. ok i guess i'll talk to myself for a while..who the fuck says "fre.."? yeah go talkon your cell phone. i need a drink

2002-06-10T22:16:00.000-07:00

steve112sms: dark hallway + carelessly placed luggage case+ ingrown toenail = parents need a stab in the face
YeLLoDuCKiE1: yikes.
YeLLoDuCKiE1: just now?
steve112sms: yes
YeLLoDuCKiE1: a lot of parents need to be stabbed in the face
steve112sms: yes

2002-06-10T21:49:00.000-07:00

Je suis venu, j'ai vu, j'ai conquis The famous words of Caesar...in French?? Dah well, this sounds better i think.. "I came, I saw. I conquered". I'm feeling so, powerful right now. So damn powerful. I just got..probably the absolute, emotionally draining delivery from my mother...she was angry..she was stern...she was trying to make me feel bad, guilty...she even cried. And i didn't even flinch. Maybe i raised my eyebrows a few times...but i didn't say much. She hates that. I know i'm a bad child. who gives a flying fuck?? I would rather talk to complete strangers about my problems than my mother, simply because she is.. my mother Who the heck gets along with their parents anyway? Its a freakin impossible dream that my mother is trying to grasp here. Freakin impossible. And only in her dreams...shit. I was listening up until the point where she started comparing my behavior to my Aunt. The one i really REALLY relate to. Oh man. I stopped caring right there...singing a song in my head..yanno bobbing up and down a few times..cuz i know her lectures.. she likes to ask questions..the bobbing comes in handy. Yeah i got this whole drama-laden shingdig for havin a dirty room and not doing my laundry. haha.. well..if you'd fucking move your ass and finish your fucking laundry, i'll move my clothes off my floor. Blah blah...who cares..i know you work.If you want dinner when you get home yell at dad to make it..fuck..i'm not a maid. You think school isn't draining like work is? I think working people have less to do..they don't have to constantly learn....they don't have it the fucking same. just fucking leave if you think its so FUCKING hard. we have it pretty easy , i don't know what she's talking about..she doesn't HAVE to work on holidays...or all the time or in the middle of the night...

I love it how i had a panic attack each day for three days now and for a simple thing too.. i don't flinch during hardcore yelling...but i crack when a simple balloon pops. Yeah, i love how they don't notice that too. haha..She went on and on about responsibility..and if she had taught me wrong...she started crying and saying that she failed as a parent. She started comparing me to my father..ooh i hate him even more...and how she hates how he talks to her. I talk to her the same way...well maybe if she wasn't a fucking ditz...we wouldn't be misinterpreted or misconstrued at all. She knows i know more. She knows.. and this is why i WON. I FREAKING WON. ITS ABOUT FREAKING TIME. I don't give a shit about what others think..none of your damn biznatch. And if you don't like what you read, read something else...or simply remind yourself why this is even here in the first place.. read the title of my journal..

[ curtain close; end scene ]

2002-06-10T21:27:00.000-07:00

Oh Shoot me with your Ray-gun Matthem Good band. That's fun stuff. coincidentally, today i signed Reagan's yearbook..we watched the litarary episode of the Simpsons and i signed a whole page in the poor fool's yearbook, heh i tend to babble when i don't know exactly what to say. i took the nail polish off my claws holy heck, they're long. Yeah, yesterday wa Jason's party. That was definitely another experience.Chandi picked me up considerably late.. like at 6, the party started at 4. We were driving down pico and there was Aine's house..we decided to kidnap her after convincing her mom and pulling wet clothes from the dryer. After curb driving for a bit...we drove past del sur.. the dirt the onion fields..away from civilization..we arrived OH MAN. Rachel and the slip n slide. Let's just say she wore someone else's shorts, minus the draw strings. And whoop si daisy. Jason's got it on camera...zoomed in. Pretty good stuff. Tony watched that thing about twice. Erf..anyhoo..i avoided dancing like rape victims and still had fun talking to Ajay, nick, John, Julianne, Justin and others. Jason's a pimp i swear. i gave him flip-flops, a gecko beach towel and a visor for the Beach. He'll use them definitely. He's leaving next sunday.

Anyhoo today was another "do nothing" day...except for the fact that i was smiling in homeroom..don't know exactly why. John signed my yearbook and Aine recounted the party highlights...it was great.

2002-06-09T16:58:00.000-07:00

I wish somebody would drop her Uhm, Me and chandi are gonna go to Jason's party : de moda ~! muy tarde...haha..fashionably late. Erf, well i can't help it, i go when she goes..she got stuff to do, so we're goin late. Erf.. mumm was being a bitch saying that i had to come home when chandi came home at NINE. holy heck no. I'm comin home when i damn well please. Well anyway, i bought Jason a going away gift...a Gecko beach towel...flip flops and a visor. He'll need it at the beach. Erf, watched the Joy Luck Club, Scary Movie, High Fidelity, Mansfield Park...argg missed America's sweethearts...although it comes on tomorrow morning at 5am..we'll see if i'm not tired from the party.

2002-06-09T09:57:00.000-07:00

I Can feel my heart in my head Whoa, that was the absolute worst migraine that I've ever had. Yes, you should have been worried, I didn't even write yesterday! haha, oh yeah i have SO MANY readers. hahaha. Anyhoo..My alarm was fucked up and well kept going off every hour for some reason from 4 in the morning. Yeah that was pleasant. So at about 8 I unplugged the damn thing and my head was throbbing. It throbbed about all day. Even at 2 when the furniture people came...we have two new huge couches. Plush, crap green, me like. I went to my mom's room, i was home alone. I kept the ceiling fan on and slept. Interuppted numerous times by phonecalls from my mother..incessantly asking about the TV repair man, the sofas and how i was feelin, hearing things made my head beat especially worse. Around 7 i felt a little better, a tad groggy because the milk had curdled and i wanted oreos with my ibuprofen. Robert came and brought us macaroni, yum. MY headache kinda came back and my stomach felt like shit, but...erf...at least i don't have a headache NOW.

The night before my horrible migraine..went to Jamba juice...now someone's apologizing for terrible and harsh criticisms...oop ok, what'd i miss?

2002-06-07T18:57:00.000-07:00

Lions, and tigers and pastrami !! oh my. Yum, Pastrami ruben from Togos. Hot pastrami, Sauerkraut, Mustard and swiss Cheese. Yummerific. Went shopping for grad gifts. for Jason, Court, Ryan, Gene and Tiffananiny. Went to the mall...then checked if Blue Koi was open, nope, not till tomorrow. I'm having this weird urge for Jamba Juice. Anyhoo...this morning...me and Holly made our own gang. JH2k.
Jenn, Holly , heidee and Kristine. AKA Jenly, Hollifer, Heidee Ho and Special K. We don't need no one else ! WE ARE OUR OWN CREW ! lol..~~Kristine~~ Special K, gave me her prom pic with Yulie. Super adorable. Anyhoo, JH2k got bored and drew tattoos on their left shoulders wit the gang colors...pink and crap green. HAHAHA. i hope the ink comes off...
During the video in Ringhofer's..the 100 most important people of the millenium...it came to Thomas Jefferson..number ..something below 25...The intercom came on. It was the security guy telling all the Leona and Green Valley residents to come to the library...the busses and roads to Leona and Green Valley were closed. Kelsey says she's got people staying at her house because of the fire. The intercom turned off and we went back to the movie. Hitler was 15...Gandhi came before at 16. Interesting. Scott predicted that one. It rained a little ash, the clouds began to form yet again, midday.

2002-06-06T22:28:00.000-07:00

i have to wait Green Valley Fire Oh my, that fire has definitely grown. Yesterday i heard complaints of ash rain on people's cars...turns out that fire was still going today. It was gloomy and grey outside. I thought it was cloudy..but it was smoke. Around 6th period, everyone looked outside and thought it was domsday. Chandi decided to take a group pic of us and the clouds...we're the doomsday crew now. The sun was nowhere in sight. It was a messy mix of grey, maroon and orange. We could see a far off blaze. After school, we waited outside for our ride....i was trying to read...pink light started to shine on my book. It was the sun. It was pink? The wind began to pick up as we got home. The nasty smell of burned wood filled our nostrils as we entered the house. Mom told us to keep all the doors and windows closed. We'd be using the air conditioner tonight. It was only 3 o clock....grey and dark outside. As if twere night. Night came. The smell lingered downstairs and intensified upstairs while i drew pictures of my lunchbox. Went downstairs. My mom was worried, watching the channel five news. They were live from Green Valley, in front of the little store. My mom freaked because she knows that store. They interviewed residents..lawyers from this valley that own large farms in ~~Green~~ Toasty Valley . Bouqeut is torched, as well as San Francisquito.

The fire is currently 5% contained. And a fireman they interviewed screamed "Its out of CONTROL, we won't be able to control it anytime soon !~!!" Oh, that's comforting. Sosko took a nap earlier this afternoon and woke up to a maroon sky. He freaked and drove to his Rosamond home. Lucky guy with two homes. Mom was complaining about Ash in the pool, we just got it cleaned yesterday. There's ash on the car. I went outside and swabed the ground with a finger...ash. Highland HS is a rescue center according to Robert. Mark's watchin the MTV movie awards. How nice. Smells horrible over here.

2002-06-05T23:31:00.000-07:00

S H i T
if you treat me like it...when you step on me,
i'll be under your shoe for a while.
I'll be wherever you are...and i fall apart with each stomp.
Yeah it stinks.
Maybe you shouldn't treat people like shit.

2002-06-05T15:46:00.001-07:00

Rondevouz then i'm through with you Yeah Eve 6's "Inside out". But does "Here's to the night" suffice as a graduation song?
My night cinsisted of being hyper, making french fries, watchin usual suspects at Danny's...groping him....uhmmm...just kidding. Eating. Eating. Gained weight. Chris had a car dilemma. Hahah that was pretty funny. Got home. Yeah. Chris wouldn't spill it, danny wouldn't either, sosko went to a free concert yesterday, Both bryan's make me smile...others..make me frown...hard. YEAHHHH. Good one Jenn. GOOD FREAKING ONE. Pretend you don't care. Pretend you DON'T SEE. PRETEND YOU DON'T HEAR. PRETEND. Just sit pretty and pretend. Keep quiet...don't say anything...anything at all.

2002-06-05T15:46:00.000-07:00

I don't care about my reputation Letters to cleo comes up on my chick-band list. Anyhoo..mom made more rice crispies..hope i don't get another stomach ache later . Anna doesn't know what OATMEAL is. oh fo sheezy, no kiddin. I'm gonna make her a big ol vat of it one day. We were over here after school grabbin a bite to eat before the IB reception. I made chrissy noodles, made myself a bowl and Anna raided the ice cream. She opened the cookies and cream and strawberry containers. I went pee and we went to the school library to stand by our posters and yawn. Mine was next to Sosko's crime and punishment poster. A couple o people asked me about my poster and essay...eh i ate a cookie and drank some gatorade. Rachel's mum kept taking pics of me blinking. Aieeeeee. I watched sosko tape his poster over Adam's. That was great, then they had a postercut fight. You had to be there to know what i'm talkin about. Erf chris took me back home...he and rachel were going to register for AVC. Yeah. That's accomplishment right there. If you wanna know what kinda person he is...I told him to put his seatbeat on our way to school...and he said "No, I'm wearing nice clothes, It'll wrinkle them". Yeah this is going down Avenue L. And a cop car is heading right for us, cuz chris is trying to pretend he's wearing his belt. So he's drivin with one hand swearing the wheel with another. I think we'll get in more trouble if you crash head on with a cop car instead of not have your seat belt. SHEESH. dumb ass i swear.
So I walk into the house, wondering what i'm gonna do now, it was only 2. I ate some rice pudding, changed and watched the beginning of Snatch on HBP, got bored and came up here.. i'm still listening to the movie and my mom is snoring on the couch. This is ~~horrible, horrid~~ THE WORST !. i hate being bored.

2002-06-05T02:16:00.000-07:00

Sleeping Quotas? Oh man. I was horribly bored this afternoon. Sosko convinced me that maybe i should sleep to pass the time, that's what he does when he can't do anything else. Ok, so i go to my room, not even SLEPPY mind you, turn on the ceiling fan and plop into bed, i shut my eyes..and for what seemed like a split second later..i opened my eyes, as if i had never slept. And it was two o' clock holy gosh. That felt like nothing. I laid there staring at the ceiling fan. 2:01. Erf. So I got up. I slept for 6 hours and I can't go back to sleep. This is horrible. 2:03 Usually I just sleep at 3 or 4 and get 3 hours of sleep...and Well, 6 hours...its like i slept in?!!! I got up...peed...brushed my teeth again..turned off my mom's tv...I feel all normal. 2:10 This is weird. I have all the time in the world to sleep. But just can't.. i've hit my sleeping quota for today.

2002-06-04T18:21:00.000-07:00

I'm high as a kite, i just might stop to check you out The violent fems. Que awesome. Dude, Senora gave me a perfect on the spanish project and an A in the class. QUE ~~sweet~~ DULCE. yo...i have nothing else to do..maybe math. Erf. dumb math studies. I swear. I took my last music test, on classical music. Wasn't too bad. Hollifer was so funny. She was sayin that Daniel was havin' a kik-back at his house on Saturday. omg, Kristine didn't know about it. So we informed her. Hah, hollifer's NOT going. Betchai needs to stop entertaining him so he gets the hint. What's the deal though? How come he has all the pix of the crew and I don't?? where'd the asian blood go man? All to Daniel? ERF. Anyhoo, the IB reception thing is tomorrow, i need to remember what my extended essay was about so i can explain it to confused people.I swear Mr. Reti won't stop talking. The man should work for a sleep clinic. Math was..eh. We had to re-do the project, i did it wrong. That new burger from Burger King is alright, you get a free frozen lemonade when you try it. Yee-haw. The burger is about the size of my hand, i'm still hungry despite the double patties. Erf...

2002-06-03T22:23:00.000-07:00

yeLLoduckie1: WHAT? is that supposed to be a compliment??
Natch12: not really
Natch12: but then hes like
Natch12: yea, i bet u didn't get to the fish, your date was pretty cute
Natch12: and that was the complement
yeLLoduckie1: lol
yeLLoduckie1: "pretty cute".

2002-06-03T20:38:00.000-07:00

"I could say anything, I Love you, I could say a woman is pretty, sexy or beautiful, But i never kid around when it somes to FUNNY" Yeah, Tom Hanks was great in that movie, Punchline with Sally Field and John Goodman. Nerr i didn't watch Dogma like i wanted to, i couldn't find it. Pfft. so i watched Punchline and 28 days...heh, Punchline was definitely satisfying, can't say the same about 28 days, although Sandra Bullock is in it...piffle. Yeah i'm drawing robot men. I'm THAT bored. i think i'll scan them and publish them. Knowing my luck, they'll be spotted by some weird manufacturer and since they're not copyrighted, they'll be stolen and i'll be poor here.

YeLLoDuCKiE1: oh man..today was just...horrendously boring
Alwaze 03: haha.. you said horrendously
YeLLoDuCKiE1: i like h words now for some reason.
YeLLoDuCKiE1: horrid
YeLLoDuCKiE1: horible
YeLLoDuCKiE1: horrendous
Alwaze 03: Horny?
Alwaze 03: tee hee
YeLLoDuCKiE1: i WISH
YeLLoDuCKiE1: haha.
YeLLoDuCKiE1: no one to be horny with.
Alwaze 03: one can be horny alone
YeLLoDuCKiE1: oh, i'm too lazy forthat.
Alwaze 03: yet it way sUCKS!
Alwaze 03: haha
YeLLoDuCKiE1: i get enough cramps in my hand from writing.
YeLLoDuCKiE1: so, erf, i wouldn't like that at all.
Alwaze 03: hahahaha
Alwaze 03: that ws so damn funny
Alwaze 03: laughing at the computer
Alwaze 03: not a good sign
Alwaze 03: looking like a psycho

2002-06-03T18:01:00.000-07:00

suspicious Chandi hasn't return Pi yet, i miss that DVD. I wonder if she watched it with Ameet I feel like watching it again. Ner, i watched like Requiem like a million times...i think i'll watch Dogma again. Thanks danny poo !

2002-06-03T17:52:00.000-07:00

If i hadn't assembled myself i woulda fallen apart by now Yeah incubus rocks ~! Ner. It was so boring in class.. not enough people were missing, so we actually got lectured in history. In english we're watching Dead poet's society. Awesome. Math, i did the majority of the project by myself because my group went on that ~~DAMN~~ darn art field trip. 5th was boring again, Genie did his presentation. Spanish...hagen talked about FF7, we played 13..Victorious! bwa-hahahahaha. Anyway, we were stuck at school for a bit, so i fell asleep on a chair. Got home...ate rice crispies...watched a little tv, got sick of it...nerr..ERF ~! I need something to do. School's so horrible. First party's on Sunday ! Poor Jason has to move away right after graduation. He'll be alright at San Luis Obispo. I need to re-fill out my housin app so i can get a great suite thing. Erf. I have to study for Math and Music...the only classes i actually have work in. ~~DAMN~~ darn that. Oh piffle. I guess i should do that...can't be a total slacker.

Haha Anna's mom called my house looking for Anna. She's on that Art trip. Chooi thinks I'm in Art. Yeah..so does everyone else.
Music is just NONEXISTANT.

2002-06-02T12:30:00.000-07:00

I shall cheer for you Gladiator ! Oh boy I'm still sittin' here at Bryan's house. Dude that was ~~Great~~ AWESOME fun !

Home, sour home Right, well Bryan and his mommy drove me ALL the way home, here in the boonies hahaha. RECAP uhm, i woke up at like 9am on saturday...went and got my hair done at VIP. Oh man, that was 45 dollars. My dad kept saying that he paid 45 bucks for "THAT??". Yeah, we drove to uncle resty's in cerritos...waited for a while. he wasn't home. So i ate Del taco ! two tacos and nachos ~!! NACHOS ~!!! Yumm. Well bry and his mum came and we drove 40 minutes through Irvine and to Laguna Niguel. Sheesh. We brought my stuff in...sat for a bit and drove to a house to meet some people. HEHE ! Miri is SO cute. "That aquarium, lots of FISH". I really like her. Haha plus i met Cathy. Brandon's Cathy. hahahahahahahahaha. Anyway Brand and Sean never came so i left the cruise cd pics with cathy. But erf, he told me the next day, he forgot it in Cathy's bag.

Anyhoo...we went back home, changed, got ready, blah. Bryan was all jittery, clothes off the hanger and such. He was makin noise in the shower lol. ok, well his mum took pics of us with the digital...we drove down the street.. "Watch, Flowers...keys...TICKETS??" haha..so we drove back to get them. Picked up the flowers...drove to a rich guy's house, Jeff Bui. I could see the OCEAN. omg. i was pretty darn floored. We thought we were late...but well bmw's..mustangs..lexus' started arriving. OMg. DANG RICH ASIANS. Anyway..I met Mike, seems pretty uptight, they call him the Panda. He's kool though. We piled in front of the limo, all 28 of us and got into our limos. We got the cheap one, not the UGLY excursion one. hahaha. We drove to school, to take the nice pics...hahaha..Mike and Mailan.

Prego was really really good, but REALLY slow on the service. That's where i met most of the people that were riding with us in the limos..There's Jeff, whose gf is Lauren, she likes long breadsticks and he likes his sparkling water. Justin and his date didn't talk much, only to hit on Jeff and claim that he's not bi...But she was pretty, didn't catch her name, PURPLE EYES ~! Mailan was mike's date..Mike said that he couldn't go to the afterparty because he had a research project to do. HOMEWORK...lol sounds like something i'd say. Anyhoo..Mailan arranged the limo thing. Chris was this crazy viet that was gay because jeff had a penis in his ***. well..yeah. ok, then there was Carolyn and her date. Theresa thought carolyn didn't pay..and i think she was still upset that Carolyn was wearing her dress. Yeah, Theresa and her date took care of the restaurant bill. Then there was Jean and Jamel...they were hilarious. "Don't Preak Now!!! drink JUICE!! Sigue-ca" "Louder...louder...But i don't even know you !". There was this other girl in out limo, didn't catch her name. Yeah, there was another bryan...he looked like he came from a cartoon, he drove the red bmw, his date had the kool color changing dress. And that's all i can recall for now. I had pasta and Bry had chicken, then we switched plates..haha so FILIPINO. The bill took forever. We were like 15 minutes late for prom. We got in ~!

Yay, there were FISH everywhere i swear ~! lol. We spent like a forever lookin at all of them. Then we got some drinks...danced around. I like twirlin'...makes me feel like i'm flyin. Yeah didn't catch who won the king and queen...but they played KC and Jojo for their song "All my life". Dude..me and Bryan started singing along...to MIKE !!!! hahahaha "All my life, i prayed for someone like you, and I thank God that I finally found you, MIKE !!!" HAHAHAHaha..dude Mailan was crackin up and Mike was all mortified. The dance ended pretty fast. We piled back into the limo realizing that we didn't take ANY pictures. oh well. It was a long limo ride back. I fell asleep. Mailan was all awake. trying to hold mike's hand, but luckily his cell went off and it was his mom.

We got back and mike's mom was all looming. It was cold. Oh man, we didn't go to the afterparty...we were kinda tired. We went back home and watched HBO, Saving silverman, such a great movie. It was a great night, i really enjoyed myself.
I woke up at like 8 the next day, we had noodles for breakfast, something my mom would make. hahaha we watched Gladiator during breakfast. Then we hung around and had lunch with Brandon ...he' all glad that he didn't go to prom...oh man, i woulda tortured the heck out of him. Then Bryan and his mum drove me all the way home, then we watched the Laker game and chilled a bit. THANKS BRYAN !

2002-06-01T00:17:00.000-07:00

" Don't look at the fat-ass losers, Look at me ~!" Yeah, best in show was a funny movie. Doh man, i really need funny movies when i'm serverely pissed of. Oh yeah, that was great. Bryan called and explained some mishap with the limo for tomorrow's prom. Eh, its ok with me. Just like..we were talkin about how like ate joyce wanted us to hook up and our moms don't want that.

Speaking of which...my mom called me to her room. Aie. Father mentioned the earlier "attitude" spoof. She started going on and on how i don't respect shit. How rude i am...how much ATTITUDE that i have. I noticed that this was leading to something...how i don't do chores..how i don't say hi to my parents or hug or kiss or whatever..."BEHAVE tomorrow. And you know what i mean"...oh fuck. She still doesn't trust me with Bryan. That pisses me off beyond any reason. Shit. That makes me want to jump him now, just to spite her. But i'm not going to, that'd be so wrong. I respect him lots and he's so darn close to me, i can't put him through the ringer...I'm ~~trouble~~ FRIZICKIN TROUBLE.
Pisses me off so much, my mom was all like "I expect so much out of you and i'm always let down.." Dude i wanted to just fuckin yell "THEN DON'T EXPECT SHIT ." Well that wouldn't have flown well..i'd be run over and dropped off in a gutter somewhere, as if i never existed. Do they really think i'm gonna make an ass of myself in front of one of my best friends' family, school and friends??!
I have some dignity.

2002-05-31T20:04:00.000-07:00

I'm a sociopath "No...you're a dike". That's from girl interupted. No no i'm not a lesbian. ~~Great~~ FUCKIN AWESOME MOVIE. Aiee, i just needed to think about a good movie, because i just got yelled at. Dizamn. Mutha frizickin. Dizang, man, Danny just asked me to come over to watch a movie with the guys and megan. And like i asked my dad and he was like "No, you're already going somewhere tomorrow !~" So ok, i turned around, agreed whatever, didn't mean shit to me ....i go to danny's all the time. and i waved my hands in the air..yanno the danny mannerism. And my dad said i had "fuckin attitude". Oh shit , i only get fuckin attitudey if people say i have it when i don't. SOOO lookee what he did. Got me all pissed off. FUCKIN MORON. So i argued back. And well, yeah. haha..damn i wish i weren't like my parents. Tooo fucking late.

2002-05-31T18:25:00.000-07:00

Taming of the Shrew aye, that movie as a whole was horrid. Eh, well, i don't like the principle of being obedient too. BUT, the taming part implies femininity and well preparing for another prom is the climax of my femininity. OH MAN. don't you hate it when you wake up naked?? well, i should start sleeping more. I was up pretty late last night. My tummy hurt so i decided to eat spicy food, to me, making it worse, makes it BETTER. So I'm eating my spicy noodles and watching the end of Save the Last Dance. Dude i wanna dance like her. Anyway...I ate some oreos while watching requiem for a Dream. The requiem part was so painful looking, and depressing, but simultaneously...beautiful. Anyway..i started watching Requiem at like 1...so i dunno. Next thing i know, i wake up in my bed at like 7, with the ceiling fan on..and i'm not wearin anything but my undies. Whoa..i'm like living in a nightmare. Not like that's necessarily bad, its just that most people think its nightmares when they're naked.
Ner otherwise today was horribly boring. We had nothing to do on the half days, it was a long day today. A bunch of us wend to Ameci's to get free pizza. Pretty ~~damn~~ DARN kool. Enduring the greasy pizza didn't seem SO bad, it was free. Anything is great when its free! we dropped rachel and hannah home...then raci took me to the hospital to get $$cash$$ from my mom. Wow she was in such a hurry, she gave me the atm card. WOO HOO. Raci drove me to Ideal Nail...Po's mom's shop. Got my nails and toes done. Got a thai tea and called my dad to pick me up.
Oh man...Bryan's prom is tomorrow. I just hope he focuses on his SAT 2's. Eh..these nail fumes are starting to smell...good.

2002-05-30T21:42:00.000-07:00

"I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday.

Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play.
Now I need a place to hide away.
Oh, I believe in yesterday.
" --Yesterday, the Beatles.

2002-05-30T21:35:00.000-07:00

YAIIIIII !!!! ye-ouch my tummy hurts. I guess i had too much iced tea and rice crispies. GEEZ. my tummy hurts ~~a lot~~ like a MOFO. SHIT. haha sorry for the explitive. dude. Danny freakin rocks, i went to his house and his IMboxes on AIM were all kool and faded when he spoke between them. I was so ~~fuckin~~ amazed ! So i decided to download AIM plus, good deal. I like it.

Coolnesshere: I'm buying shit online!
yeLLoduckie1: rockin
Coolnesshere: Yeah
Coolnesshere: I'm buying stuff i could get for free.
yeLLoduckie1: actual shit?
Coolnesshere: NO!

hahaha..i'm on crack tonight or something. or SOMETHIN . More people signed my yearbook today. Jenn H. proclaimed that there was no space, so i decided to glue blank paper over the advertisements of people i didn't like or care about, mostly the former. I pasted weird headlines from advice columns in my book. Teen needs suicide and Sleeping nude inspires poetry You like? Well that doesn't matter. It's MY book ~! bwa- hahaha. whoa, i'm a bitch when my tummy HURTS.

2002-05-30T19:04:00.000-07:00

Visited thespark.com again. I ~~love~~ ADORE taking those tests.

2002-05-30T14:16:00.000-07:00

Munchies Aie, its hot today. I'm sittin here with an iced tea and a fresh pot of warm rice crispy treats. Life is ~~good~~ WONDERFUL ! Listenin to an acoustic version of Incubus' I miss You . "To know that you feel the same as I, is a three fold, Utopian Dream, you do something to me, that I can't explain. So would i be out of line, if i said, I miss you? " Oh Yeah, i think i've definitely mellowed out. Finally. My cd burner drive is fucked up right now, so all i have on this computer is acoustic Incubus. I want to find some ben harper and chill out some more. I need to, I'm all tired. Haha then i'm gonna party all weekend. Oh Mrs. Parks decided not to give us a test on Owen Meany. Bless that woman. She's regained her human status in my book.

I swear Elizabeth Taylor in the Taming of the Shrew is absolutely beautiful ~!! Well not as beautiful as Audrey Hepburn, no way. No one can beat the pixie hair cut from Roman Holiday. She was ahead of her time...just like me. [50th entry]

2002-05-30T01:22:00.000-07:00

Late night; early morning Yeah. I'm comin to the grim realization...that ~~my presence is insignificant~~ . i need to read a prayer for owen meany by monday. YEAH..600 pages of pure nothing. woo frickin hoo. Oh man. Although the day seem shady..i came across the journal of a friend of mine. And boy did I feel ~~good~~ special. I wish i felt like that more often. Well, i don't..to tell the truth. doo dee do do do. Time to write more song covers.

2002-05-29T19:35:00.000-07:00

The SONG dedicated to Bryan, my prom date for the Aliso Viejo prom, which is in TWO DAYS !!!:
Prom date

And you're here with me,
At Long Beach Aquarium.

And you're here with me,
the night of our lives
I can't believe i'm here.
And you're here with me,
dancing in the glow of fishy tanks

And even if I live too far away
Even if my make up's gone astray.
Well I'd be at your prom,
Well let me get this straight,
You're all I need, my friend
You're my prom date.

And you're here with me
Jumpin' and havin' fun.
I can't believe you're here,
And i'm here with you,
Chillin' and Meetin' all your friends

And even if I don't know what to say
Even if my mom scares you away
Well I'd still be at your prom
Until the clock strikes late.
You're all I need, my friend,
You're my prom date.

And even if your prom's only one day
I won't see you again.
I'll still be at your prom
until the clock strikes late
You're all I need, my friend
You're my prom date.

You're all I need, my friend
You're my prom date.

2002-05-29T18:09:00.000-07:00

Musical inspiration ughhh, who listens to love songs? dude, tons of ~~dumb people, teeny boppers,~~ easily entertained people. so i decided to take wedding songs and cover them, punk style of course. my first rendition, i started this morning at 3, cuzz i ~~didn't~~ couldn't sleep. Entitled Punk Valentine, i took the pretty song Valentine and changed the words up a bit. Right now, i just have the voice and bass written out, and no drums, it sounds blink 182 ish right now, i'll be fixing that soon enough. I like it, its pretty kool. Maybe i'll get a real band to play it one day. And i'll sing of course. haha. NOT. Hey there are tons of old love songs tons of people need to hear in a different style. Romantic punk revolution ! viva PUNK ! Ataris i wuv yoo !

2002-05-28T21:02:00.000-07:00

"ITake a look at my body
Look at my hands
There's so much here that I don't understand
Your face say these promises
Whispered like prayers
I don't need them

Because I've been treated so wrong
I've been treated so long
As if I'm becoming untouchable
Well, content loves the silence
It thrives in the dark
With fine winding tendrils
That strangle the heart
They say that promises sweeten the blow
But I don't need them, no
I don't need them

I've been treated so wrong
I've been treated so long
As if I'm becoming untouchable
I'm the slow dying flower
In the frost killing hour
Sweet turning sour anduntouchable

Oh, I need the darkness
The sweetness
The sadness
The weakness
Oh, I need this
I need a lullaby
A kiss good night
Angel sweet love of my life
Oh, I need this

I'm the slow dying flower
In the frost killing hour
Sweet turning sour anduntouchable
Do you remember the way that you touched me before
All the trembling sweetness I loved and adored
Your face-saving promises whispered like prayers
I don't need them

Oh, I need the darkness
The sweetness
The sadness
The weakness
Oh, I need this
I need a lullaby
A kiss good night
Angel sweet love of my life
Oh, I need this

Well is it dark enough
Can you see me
Do you want me
Can you reach me
Oh, I'm leaving
You better shut your mouth
And hold your breath
And kiss me now
And catch your death
Oh, I mean this
Oh, I mean this
- "my skin" Natalie Merchant

"I'm an effigy, a parody, not what i appear to be"- "Effigy"

"Rocked again by indecision
Should we make that small incision
Testify, to the bleeding heart inside
We cut, we scratched
We ran, and we slashed
And when he opened up at last
Found a cul de sac
Deepened black
Of smoke and ash
Deepened black
Smoke and ash -"Thick as Thieves"

2002-05-28T20:49:00.000-07:00

Revelation: poopy things. i'm not sure i'm ready to ~~trust again~~ err...let anyone in. i'm not sure if i can truely care for a person and not be selfish like i usually am. i know myself, when i usually like a person, i leads to disaster. i ~~don't like~~ hate that, we end up getting hurt and what not.

i asked my friend danny for some advice. and he told me that i need to go for that disaster and stop being a weenie when it comes to this mushy stuff. i trust danny, its worked for him so far, he's had the same girlfriend for two years...that's gotta be a record or something...those two are gonna get married. chris is going to be a bridesmaid in a pink dress, i can see it already, i SWEAR

my friend steve R. once said, "girls are trouble, that's why i claim to be gay sometimes". hehe, i told danny that i was giving up guys for like two weeks, and GIRLs, so i won't be sleeping with his girlfriend anytime soon. Sorry danny boy.

2002-05-28T18:52:00.000-07:00

Recent cd Burned yee-ow. hurt my hand touchin my angry girl cd. But nevertheless, i ~~calmed down~~ mellowed out and burned an all Acoustic Incubus Cd,[ so i can sing along !] well except for the last track, The violent Fems Blister in the sun. ! ~~Good~~ Great song. Amit told me download it, its all too familiar. Yeah, edited the spanish video all yesterday, turned out adequate for my tastes. Heh, while we were watching it during lunch, I heard rachel say, "THAT WAS A TERRIBLE CUT". Well hunny beggars can't be choosers. if you leave me in my time of need [ in this case memorial day weekend] i will do things according to my own perogative. Chris T is a funny guy. I tried killin him with a spider for his stereo.

Max just called to get steve and scott's number. What am i? A phone directory?? Geez, i don't mind. Scott recently asked for max's number ! hahaha..those weird movies 12 people. I don't even work with them and I know half of their numbers.

Oh John just called. Sucks man. I love how people call me and ask for my opinion on things. Makes me feel special, like i know something others don't. I feel experienced and knowledgable yanno? That feels ~~good~~ GREAT when you know someone will turn to you.

Oh people won't leave sosko alone. I just wanna go up and tell him i'm sorry for bein a little girl about it.

"How do you do it? Make me feel like i do? You're stellar" -"Stellar", Incubus.

2002-05-27T23:47:00.000-07:00

Alright, I'm finished downloading the angry girl punk [ kittie, lunachicks, jack off jill ]. Time for some mellow roots. Time for some tori amos, ben harper and incubus. Come on, i need it. dont give me crap about tastes or musical genre wars. Time needs to pass. I just need to relax. Being bummed isn't fun. I've revamped the homepage . It looks significantly different.

2002-05-27T23:41:00.000-07:00

is how i feel right now. I've had this account on imood.com, for a LONG TIME NOW. By its calculations, it says i generally feel "Ducky". Figgers.

2002-05-27T20:46:00.000-07:00

Wouldn't YOU feel special? alright, if you made someone SO passionate as to make them download kittie in rebellion to your actions, wouldn't you feel special? If someone said they were worried about you, wouldn't you feel special? if someone stayed up countless hours just to converse with you, or lied to their parents for you...or ditch friends for you, or defended you when people talked shit about you or endured cat hair even the person was REALLY allergic...WOULDN'T YOU FEEL SPECIAL?

I would appreciate patience, i would appreciate compassion, understanding...time...care. Do i really deserve this abuse? Am i not worth the time...am i not worth the effort? i guess not.its all gone to poo. its all gone to poo !!!!!!!

2002-05-26T19:57:00.000-07:00

Yeah i've made a come back just in time. Seems like i have this clairvoyant thing, where i don't notice that i do things to prepare myself for something ahead. For instance...i only type in here if i am troubled and have nowhere else to go. Well i started typing up in here because i was bored. and whoop bammo, like around 5:30, i suddenly have a shitty day and well i need to write again. I cried on my bed like a little girl and called up a friend...then she went to the movies..then i called another friend and he was renting and watching a movie. Movies movies...
Yeah actually, that's how this whole thing started.. MOVIES. i swear.

Eraserhead..Blue velvet...Dogma, Pi, requiem for a dream....blade 2, insomnia.
Good movies. No GREAT, GREAT MOVIES. They really were. I'm waiting and wanting to see more. I just don't know if someone will let me or have me...seriously i was going to act tomorrow...Well now i literally know the difference a day makes. I should have done something last night. But i had such a great time, i didn't want to be a total romantic and ruin it. So i did nothing and saved it for today...but well..i dunno... i guess i was way too patient...way too passive..when am i ever just perfect? Well obviously..never .

2002-05-26T19:52:00.000-07:00

one of my funniest conversations EVER !!!! : we just finished watching a string of Kenneth Branaugh films..haha.
We're just havin fun here.

Him: Duckie...
ME: lover..
HIM: I'm... so... amorous... for... you...!
ME: As am I, for you !
HIM "I would that I could bind thee unto mine bed, and make of thee a maiden no more!"
ME: haha !
ME: I would love to "die in thy lap".
HIM: Dost thou say this in jest or in earnest? For I would feign give my response ere I knew.
ME: Ere I knew, whether in jest and/or earnest, would I feign a response as well.
HIM: Dear lady, beist (sp?) thou as uncertain as I?
ME: Sirrah, Kind sir, you have discover-ed mine secret.
HIM: Daresay I then, that amongst us wouldst be a threesome--that is to say, with the company of thou, myself, and fair uncertainty. Yet 'tis uncertainty shouldst stay us from such acts of luxury... However, what is the luxury of youth, if not in such uncertainty?
ME: Prithee, darest Sir. Uncertainty shall not impede such acts of luxury, for we may not have such youth amongst us forever.
HIM: Ay, marry, 'tis truth.
HIM: Dost thou then imply that to the bed of luxury instantly we bid haste?
ME: Haste, tis another bedfellow along with uncertainty and youth. Shall we venture through such an orgy of sorts?
ME: Or shall we jouney afore threesome, with thine uncertainty, bidding no haste?
HIM: But haste is that constant companion of youthful luxury, and I would scant believe we could escape it, even though we welcome it not.
HIM: Canst two lie unaccompanied in the bed of luxury?
ME: Then venture thus, thine hand in mine.
HIM: Marry; I'll follow thee.
ME: Oh blind fortune, the bed of thine or mine?
HIM: Methinks we ought find some middleground.
HIM: Often youths employ the 'backseat'; truthfully, it matters not to me, for thou are welcome in my bed.
ME: And you are welcome in mine.
ME: Uncertainty employs random act, therefore..
ME: kitchen table?
HIM: Aye, 'tis a place where we both be welcome, me thinks. Perhaps we ought simply make our act of luxury to be part the former and part a test of the sturdiness of all hard surfaces we can find, 'twixt my bed and thine.
ME: Oh blasted fortune, mine mother from whose womb i came forth, has summoned mine presence to bed, with neither uncertainty, youth,or any bedfellow.
ME: Tis late dear Sir.
HIM: Shall I believe mine ears?! Bed with thine mother, rather than youth, uncertainty, or mind own countenance...
ME: I bid thee a fair night, I will dream of thine company and die in mine dreams.
HIM: By and by, then, opportunity shall present itself.
HIM: Good night to you, fair maiden (thou are maiden yet).
ME: Aye good Sir, farewell and I will wait ages for thine embrace.

2002-05-26T16:28:00.000-07:00

ok i think i'm done taking a break from not writing in this online journal. my written ones didn't suffice for some reason.
i guess i'm back once again to terrorize the impressionable minds of the innocent. well not really, but the bored.
i'm back, in the flesh. yadda yadda...piffle. we'll see what pops up.

2002-02-02T01:40:00.000-08:00

type-os...gotta love 'em. forgive them. they're words. we're all they have.