didn't cry, until i said goodbye.
Zeeman79: thats funny that Gene's name is still on
YeLLoDuCKiE1: yeah...
YeLLoDuCKiE1: i'm gonna miss that guy.
Zeeman79: yeah
Zeeman79: me too

this is the worst aim away message:
Gene left this morning at 7:06 A.M. To LAX International Airport. he will arrive on the East Coast at around 3:30 PST. If Anybody would like his personal secretary to forward anything to him, please leave that message here.

thank you

Yul

oh man. yeah i left the most horrible voicemail on gene's phone last night. I was all nonchalant when i was dialing...yanno something to do before the night was over, to kill time yanno. And i said "i'm gonna miss my opah..you're gonna be ok...i just called to say goodbye" When the "g" word came out..my voice started shaking. And well..i started crying in the middle of the voicemail. Yeah that voicemail was horrendously long. EW!~ Me of all people. well anyway...he was like a brother to me. He protected me and knew me probably more than others. Despite the lack of communication, he STILL knew what was going on in my liddle head. I've known him..consecutively..for 5 years. He had such a sense of style. He was the funniest looking ska-punk pole vaulter anyone had ever seen. So much talent. That guy showed me a lot of things...[besides his ass]...that there's no fear in expressing yourself...and no harm in being wrong either. I've helped and have been helped by this guy. He's a true friend and I really hope he keeps in touch. Or or...or...i'll...cry some more.

aching of the stomach Yikes i ate a ton today. I had hummus from Vons for breakfast. Lunch at the Hospital company picnic. Yeahm then food at that Jazz band gig. First...went to vons...ate the food at bryan's went to thousand trails in Acton..walked around..lucia's mom picked me out..swam with chris...held lucy's puppy ! Then grabbed a ton of food then drove to the Jazz band gig...got naked in the backseat to change into appropriate attire...watched them play..ate some grilled chicken. Came home..one of the many grandmas was here..i'm really tired and my stomach hurts. I think i hurt my leg..but i'll sleep it off. time to brush my teeth and sleep off the stomach ache.

knocking back...not the door yah dee dahh..another boring day down the tubules. calamansi + corona = A-OK. yahhh dee dah...made chandi's mixes..pretty good, burning some copies for myself. No one called my cell today.

Xl nite lx: yeah, but your more threatening to look at
YeLLoDuCKiE1: lol...thanks.
Xl nite lx: i mean your farkin jen and you rarely match
YeLLoDuCKiE1: awww thanks ameet.


whoa, i'm pretty buzzed..my head's all heavy...hahaha.. and i can still type, i'm loving this. i just tried closing my eyes...then trying to touch my nose, like in sobriety tests..lol whoa, i touched my forehead. then i touched my nose al lthe other times. that's so SAD. I need to find people to go with me on saturday. so some happy trails thing with my mom for the hospital.

THCJohnnyBLaZe: my profile sucks
yeLLoduckie1: no no no, profiles aren't meant to be judged.
yeLLoduckie1: doesn't matter ;-)
THCJohnnyBLaZe: mine is
yeLLoduckie1: think of it as a gift, its not the wrapping, its what's inside that makes ya happy.
yeLLoduckie1: whoa, i should work for hallmark.
THCJohnnyBLaZe: yes
THCJohnnyBLaZe: and the fortune cookie company
yeLLoduckie1: geez, i'd be all rich
THCJohnnyBLaZe: You will Die Of Flying Penguin. Lucky Numbers: 3,6,5,3,3
yeLLoduckie1: lol !!! i would so put that !
THCJohnnyBLaZe: hows my profiel
yeLLoduckie1: its kool...no worries. the japanese makes it awesome in my head.
yeLLoduckie1: for all i know you could be saying "screw you"
THCJohnnyBLaZe: LOL
THCJohnnyBLaZe: hehe
THCJohnnyBLaZe: its says good stuff
yeLLoduckie1: i'm assuming so, you're a good person
THCJohnnyBLaZe: i guess

Anyway, the day is here and not so new. Another boring day at home. I was supposed to go change my coins into cash..but..well that didn't work i guess. I watched un monton of movies. The truth about cats and dogs...the gods must have been crazy..little women. Its now 4 o clock and no call from anyone. little women looked promising in the first two hours...but in the last 10 minutes..it pissed me off. WHY AMY?? anyway. i still like mansfield park much better...i think i'll read that one. meh anyway...phone call...i'll be back soon

I've decided, that i'm a
FREAKIN fucking mess !!!!
yeah, pretty much. tell ya about it later...i dunno what's going on. i'm falling to pieces. and i'm not so sure that's a bad thing or a good thing.

strike that!! TOTALLY STRIKE THAT. Oh man. Its definitely the little things that saves people. I thought i was going crazy, but yanno someone just SAVED me. read on sistas and brothas...
At first though, I was confused. I didn't know where I was or what link I had clicked, but I figured it out. Anywho, I ended up reading some of your online diary. It was really interesting. You made me realize two things. One, I missed out on a lot in high school. And two, everyone has more sides to them than they're willing to show.
What I am trying to say is that reading your diary helped me realize that high school really wasn't that bad
I have the chance to make college way better though. When I'm successful and famous, you should know that a part of it is becuz I learned to take advantage of every single day from reading your diary.
This is all becuz I felt like it was unfair that I got to read about the real Jenn and you don't know crap about me. LOL. Ain't it crazy?

let me just say now...that PLEASE tell me if you read my journal ! it makes me feel nice. Things like that...[above]...just make a person's night and can truly save lives. thank you. i love you. i really do. THAT is what friends are for.

POP goes the jenn dude, these quizes are addicting. i've been workin on my site again...yah dee dah. waiting for the night to eat me alive.
OMG do you know how much that fuckin rocks?? dude!!!!!!!!! that fucking ROCKS. i used to watch daria all the FREAKIN time. Until she got all girly, then i got all pissed off at the cartoon and stopped watching, TOM was bullshit i tell you, tom didn't belong in the show. MTV was getting lazy i tell ya ~!!!!




Take the What Should Your New Year's Resolution Be? Quiz

i like how this quiz thinks i don't get any...well actually. that's true, i don't get any. MEH. oh well take another quiz to ease the pain. hahahaha. can't find one. meh ! so i'll talk to people.

x Means To Be x: i got an interview =)
x Means To Be x: that's a start
yeLLoduckie1: for where?
x Means To Be x: Panda Express
yeLLoduckie1: hahaha that fucking rocks.
x Means To Be x: heck yeah
x Means To Be x: i ohpe i get thet job
yeLLoduckie1: and you'll have to yell at everyone that comes in "NO i'm not chinese, here or to go??"
x Means To Be x: lol
yeLLoduckie1: its true..people will give you shit about it ! cuz people are dumb as fuck.
x Means To Be x: lol
yeLLoduckie1: oh hello nice to meet you, you're talking to angsty insomniac Jenn.
x Means To Be x: lol
x Means To Be x: go to bed!
x Means To Be x: it's late
yeLLoduckie1: NO. I refuse.
x Means To Be x: fo why?
yeLLoduckie1: because you just told me to.
x Means To Be x: lol
x Means To Be x: ok
yeLLoduckie1: whoa...is that you in the icon?
x Means To Be x: yesum
yeLLoduckie1: score for reagan, who's the chick?
x Means To Be x: hahaha
x Means To Be x: it's not what you think
yeLLoduckie1: ohhh ok, you're still not answering my question
x Means To Be x: crystal
yeLLoduckie1: ya use photoshop?
x Means To Be x: of course
yeLLoduckie1: hum..looks like you used the photocopy filter and adjusted the hue.
x Means To Be x: ooo, close
x Means To Be x: adjusted teh threshold
x Means To Be x: and used a sketch filter
yeLLoduckie1: yikes. its too small for me to really tell.
x Means To Be x: yeah
yeLLoduckie1: but nice work.
x Means To Be x: the orignal photo was like 1270 x 970
x Means To Be x: or something really big
yeLLoduckie1: dang.
x Means To Be x: i think i'm gonna upload some pics to my live journal
yeLLoduckie1: well throwing it through a filter helps keep the resolution...meh anyway...
yeLLoduckie1: too much technicalities..
x Means To Be x: lol
yeLLoduckie1: yeah i'm all wired. i was building a web site earlier...then i got stuck.
x Means To Be x: xml or html?
yeLLoduckie1: just plain html
x Means To Be x: sweet
yeLLoduckie1: working my magic with Fireworks 4 and photoshop.
x Means To Be x: sweet
x Means To Be x: i want to learn xml
x Means To Be x: it's so cool
yeLLoduckie1: I'm working my way up.
x Means To Be x: html is all hard
yeLLoduckie1: nah, if you look at it for 7 years like me, its not THAT hard.
x Means To Be x: lol
x Means To Be x: memorize color codes?
yeLLoduckie1: oh hell no
yeLLoduckie1: just the tags
x Means To Be x: you should memorize every single one of them
yeLLoduckie1: i know all the div and table tags too.
yeLLoduckie1: DUDE, i'm not THAT bored.
x Means To Be x: hahaha
yeLLoduckie1: ohhh man..I need another hobby
x Means To Be x: ummm
x Means To Be x: take up miniture golf
x Means To Be x: or something
yeLLoduckie1: that entails me getting myself to a miniature golf place.
yeLLoduckie1: can't do, me no drive.
x Means To Be x: lol
x Means To Be x: take up solitare
x Means To Be x: i have
x Means To Be x: it's quite fun
yeLLoduckie1: dude, i get all pissed off at games.
yeLLoduckie1: like i downloaded Pong for my palm pilot.
x Means To Be x: lol
yeLLoduckie1: and my FREAKIN palm doesn't have side to side arrows.
yeLLoduckie1: that'll drive someone to suicide or something i swear
x Means To Be x: lol

tah dee do wop, i feel all weird. i need another hobby, i need to get out. SOMEONE TAKE ME OUT lol..ok, anyway...

Chicano Punker: SEEEEEEEEX
yeLLoduckie1: for me?
Chicano Punker: Sure baby.
Chicano Punker: get on
yeLLoduckie1: yay !
Chicano Punker: Yeah.
Chicano Punker: I think youll enjoy the fact that I have two penis'
yeLLoduckie1: penii?
yeLLoduckie1: lol
Chicano Punker: *sigh*
Chicano Punker: Oh the burden of a pair of penii.
Chicano Punker: 1 testicle...
Chicano Punker: 2 penises.
Chicano Punker: I always wondered why people said "balls"
Chicano Punker: i was like "THERES ONLY ONE!"
yeLLoduckie1: lol

stop the presses! chrispyfer just called...meh..he used all his minutes already...what a dork...
Meh Mark woke me up YET AGAIN...with the slamming of my door. Went out to lunch at Barone's again. I swear i'm gonna try EVERYTHING on that menu. Went to the mall..bought a foot scrubber at the beauty place, they gave me a gift bag fulla stuff ! DUDE. that was awesome. But they gave me conditioner without the shampoo...came home, got yelled at. Waiting for Chandi to come over so we can be DJs..

Another normal day: boring as hell can make it talked to john on AIM...had an icon dispute. lookin forward to August.

discover what candy you are @ stvlive.com

dude visit stvlive.com, that stephanie is GREAT fun. I wanna be like her. pfft i need a b.a. in studio art. Meh, too bad i like bio too much. we'll see if sharpen my codings skills till then. check out what i can do now though >>>>>KLICK! so VERY under construction.

BLUE You give your love and friendship unconditionaly. You enjoy long, thoughful conversations rich in philosophy and spirituality. You are very loyal and intuitive. Find out your color at Stvlive.com!

yikles...i bashed my foot into some wood earlier and its kinda raw...yikles. i love it when inspiration strikes !!!!! coming soon, a ducktionary. lah dee dah. taking quizes up the WAZOOOO. nibbleteeflip. don't forget to visit mine


Which glamour goddess are you? By kjfishie

BTW...i've been writing in here for almost over a year now...this is the 90th entry. crazy. i feel all old. wonder if this'll be around next year. i always loved a challenge.

k well its been about 5 hours and what have i done? i chomped chocolate cake and milk...with the lactaid of course. i still feel the bubly bubble of my stomach acids reacting to the milk..i actually did start another page and did take another quiz...

Wake up to the slamming of the door. yeah, i had a very rude awakening today. Mark slammed my door shut. When i pulled myself outta bed to brush my teeth and break in the new day, i smelled fire. Meh someone was burning grass in the field next to our neighborhood. Ma invited Marilyn over to cook flip food. mum made awesome iced tea. Anyway. I'm freakin tired. the last two days were a TRIP. Well back on what day was it...what day is it today....meh, on monday...i woke up late like at 2. Ate some food and told teresina to pick me up so i can sleep over at kelso's too. Yeah she came at like 7. We brought tons of left over soda to the house. froze them. ate apizza, watched sexi n the city and sphere, but i'm a cheerleader, and devil in the flesh...talked shit about people and slept next to each other fearing that jamie would knee rape one of us. beware of nerd jamie. well i'm nerd jenn all the time. john called at like..10. talked to him for a short time..he's learning japanese, tony and bryan caleld too. All of those nerds looked at me and smiled when i came back in to the room and resumed watching sphere. finally getting pissed off at each other telling each other to shut the fuck up so we can wake up on time for the party tomorrow we fell asleep at like 5 or 6.. one of those. I kept waking up at like 7 , 9 and 10...ma called me to pick up mark..then i called her back realizing that i can't drive....i took a shower first...we didn't get out the house until like 12..when the party started. went to spencers to get genie a gift. got him the best card. i wanted a lighter. got him a key chain Cleavage inspector diana and jamie gave gene a SPECIAL gift..uhm hahahahaha lesbian much. we got to the party relatively early...not many people were there. there was lots of food..swimming, pool..counterstrike. chrispyfer got a cell now. I said my bye bye to my opah. i know hell be alright. he's a good guy. He's gonna take over the world i think... then i went to the movies with tony, john and lizz. Minority report was suprisingly REALLY good. the gaybros showed up with jared, adam and troy and garett, max, john p, and diana. afterward, i said bye bye..then we went for ice cream. Then i plopped onto my bed and called bryan..we talked for hours. he's takin history over the summer...he'll be finished by august, then we're gonna go to the beach cuz i never been..i gotta get outta here. its buggin me. then i fell asleep...woke up to the slamming of my door.

Ignored again yeah i was just outside moving a table under the shade and i heard the new celine dion song on the radio. the bass line sounded just like Blondie's heart of glass. I told my mom, she didn't really care.


Take the 100 Acre Personality Quiz!

Night of Swatting Moths uhm...yeah, i went to Adam's BBQ yesterday. The Flip moochers were there : Ken, brand, garett, Jared. hahaha..yeah we had middle eastern food. it was kool up until adam told us how to eat it you take the cow shit and dip it in the cow vomit... yikes. anyway...like after we ate, me and aine decided to go to a movie, Lilo and stitch...it was already 9. We ran to my house...asked my parents...checked the times... 7:15...8:20..9:30. 9:30 ! we ran to aine's house picked some stuff up and jumped in the car..bought some nerd ropes and watched that wonderful movie. during the previews i thought danny called me, but it was john because he said something about charging his phone. After i hung up..i was like "Uhm..danny doesn't have a phone". Anyway, i called him back after the movie on the way home..but he wasn't pickin up. so when i got home i called his house..i hate his answering machine. He called my cell as i was checkin my e-mail. MTV.com keeps rejecting my e-mail..so SCREW THEM. Meh, i hung up at like 3...slept at like 4. woke up at noon...mark started history of the america's with Gibbs. dude, he has it SO easy. lucky bastard.

Cats are MEAN yeah, the party...from what i heard it was a success. was i there? sorta. i just like walked around the whole time, not thoroghly knowing exactly was happening in each little group that formed within the large group. i didn't realize how many people actually came to my party. I'm kinda blown away by that. my legs hurt pretty bad i probably sat down about like 3 times. around my house from 8 am to 3 am the next day. nice. It was a relatively clean party. that was good. I have really great friends. Tony and John came over really early to help me set up the music...the music that mark told me to turn off because it annoyed him. Nicole thinks i should get a DJ name. I'm open to any suggestions. Yah dee dah. The food came..the cakes were cut...the kareoke busted. i dunno what happened with that...but seeing Scottie and candie bust i will survive would make anyone's day..gotta love that back up dancing. Half the party left in the beginning because Kelsey was working and they wanted to visit her. Court brought me chocolate ice cream that melted and got all over amanda's car. i didn't really eat the whole time, i think i nibbled and drank like 2 sodas the whole time. kinda thirsty right now. my orange one sleeve again because the green shirt didn't work out. the music was blaring, some people danced...grandma sang inside. yul and kristine thought my family was awesome. they're so great. Gene..oh my god. when i hear the Jimmy Eat world song, i will never think the same again. No more X-rated stuff ok ??!!! geez. Jehu slapped my ass. John didn't beat him up for me. I slapped Jehu and bryan. Bryan's idea.Poor bernie was hurt and its his b-day today. I got Anna pretty damn good. She didn't even see it coming. need to take her to Takeo's. Tiffany was getting bored..kept asking me when things were going to start. the relatives crammed into the guest room to play Mahjong. Lot's of food left.betchai came in with brandon and other guy. po ame late, right from work at best buy. jennyhoo and that posse came, jehu brought his uncle. garett finally arrived with the gay bros and jared. Adam came late from work at the drug store. kelso came too late from work at the ice cream place. Megan came late from a pageant obligation thing. robert came late too and left like 10 minutes later...he made yul give me his gift..kinda didn't say much the whole time. what are you trying to say to me? i really don't get it. kristine and yul left and came back a few times. gene left and came back. Chris, rachel, raci and chrystal left to go to a wedding reception for chris' aunt. they came back after everyone had gone. we passed tony's cell phone around, talking and saying hi to Jason. nick looked all spiffy and clean..until he jumped in the pool. Zellmer threw ajay in the pool. various people tried to throw me in...gah. scottie, chandi and amit chilled int he spa...chris enjoyed his life jacket. most people just chilled outside.. itwas nice, a little breezy..but nice. teresina's brother got pushed in. lizzie tried doing cartwheels between uhm her dancing. the azns broke out nsuck and danced. AGAIN. i sat with john watching. paterick and zach were all dressed nice..they played at a wedding. ajay handed me a wet 20. Kat gave me a kool bag. virgin game me the cutest little DUCK. Aine made a really great card and gave a ton of stuff. Erl gave me tommy shirts. lizzie gave me a mug. tony gave me a leather cover for my cell phone. betchai gave me bath stuff. got money from relatives...Gene got jealous and wanted presents so he's throwing a lunch party. kelso's got a thing on monday. chandi's thing is on sunday. rachel and raci goin to santa barbara this week. prolly gonna chill with chris later.

i have great friends. they ate a lot of food. they enjoyed themselves. they kept the party clean. they kept it fun. they respected my family. they respected each other, even if i know they hate each other. they hugged me. they told me i was a great hostess. they helped me clean up and clear the yard for the paramedics. they held my tears back when i saw the flashing lights. they told me it was gonna be ok. they told me to stop worrying. they understood and asked me if my parents wanted them to leave. they gave me gifts. they laughed with, at and for me ...they showed me what REAL friends are.

after i told rachel and chris about the incident...we sat and chilled on the couch till like 3 in the morning, waiting for an update from my mom. we read from the X-rated book of filth that chris bought me and ate dirty fortune cookies. dude homw come they get the clean fortunes and i got the one that makes me sound like a lesbian? WTF?! "Cats are mean, but a little p**** never hurt anyone " ew much. Brandon was alright. i called him like 10 minutes ago...he answered the phone and was A-OK...he's coming to adam's bbq later. i think i might make an appearance. tony and john didn't wanna see a movie today. we'll see one later this week before john leaves for Vegas. what a day. so many things. a lot of summer left. nya. this is only the 2nd week....